The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.