So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce