I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm fucking your sister right now.