I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm fucking your sister right now.