You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News