I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...