Texts From Last Night · esther13's Favorites

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esther13's Favorites Texts:

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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..

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(+49): View more from Germany

They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction

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(678): View more from Georgia

What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.

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(313): View more from Michigan

The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.

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(708): View more from Illinois

sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed

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