Texts From Last Night

cat_man's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes. http://tfl.nu/ntyj
  Replies (9) Good night (2153) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I need you to use more vowels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar (219): I need you to use more vowels. http://tfl.nu/cjfw
  Replies (15) Good night (7665) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house. (1-847): that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect. http://tfl.nu/7r4g
  Replies (25) Good night (7544) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog http://tfl.nu/oh2n
  Replies (14) Good night (2485) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex. http://tfl.nu/opu2
  Replies (11) Good night (3514) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool. http://tfl.nu/4pl2
  Replies (44) Good night (4837) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Did you bedazzle the elevator?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Did you bedazzle the elevator? http://tfl.nu/4rct
  Replies (2) Good night (3004) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch. http://tfl.nu/j8q7
  Replies (13) Good night (1162) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate. http://tfl.nu/kfhp
  Replies (7) Good night (3667) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown. http://tfl.nu/tag1
  Replies (5) Good night (639) Bad night (1367) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light http://tfl.nu/z2qb
  Replies (5) Good night (1725) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter http://tfl.nu/6hrd
  Replies (5) Good night (2311) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  did mom hear me barking???

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  sooo high. sooo many dog friends

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): did mom hear me barking??? (267): oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one (215): sooo high. sooo many dog friends http://tfl.nu/gyg5
  Replies (6) Good night (3222) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks. http://tfl.nu/ehmv
  Replies (6) Good night (1886) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet? http://tfl.nu/ptcd
  Replies (14) Good night (2865) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay. http://tfl.nu/5u6r
  Replies (10) Good night (4086) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today. http://tfl.nu/vn4s
  Replies (5) Good night (1784) Bad night (1162) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.

  (631): View more from New York

  i got hit in the ear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby. (631): i got hit in the ear. http://tfl.nu/qr8z
  Replies (6) Good night (2044) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed. http://tfl.nu/3phj
  Replies (8) Good night (2854) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ... http://tfl.nu/ikiv
  Replies (10) Good night (937) Bad night (1174) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night http://tfl.nu/67n5
  Replies (9) Good night (2447) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad. http://tfl.nu/s89m
  Replies (7) Good night (3380) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk. http://tfl.nu/adyj
  Replies (4) Good night (2148) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES. http://tfl.nu/638m
  Replies (15) Good night (2552) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head http://tfl.nu/0vd0
  Replies (5) Good night (1587) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know. http://tfl.nu/71w6
  Replies (24) Good night (10883) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/zq8a
  Replies (200) Good night (38524) Bad night (2837) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now. http://tfl.nu/wa2b
  Replies (32) Good night (8403) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic http://tfl.nu/acyn
  Replies (6) Good night (4535) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair. http://tfl.nu/h2x0
  Replies (5) Good night (2365) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Did everyone make it back alive?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You say that with such hope.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is that a no?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Did everyone make it back alive? (309): You say that with such hope. (217): Is that a no? http://tfl.nu/rkmk
  Replies (3) Good night (2830) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station. http://tfl.nu/3ja7
  Replies (16) Good night (3828) Bad night (1407) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping" http://tfl.nu/vogg
  Replies (17) Good night (8672) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did? http://tfl.nu/wv87
  Replies (37) Good night (4130) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  no one should ever give us hovercrafts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): no one should ever give us hovercrafts http://tfl.nu/uqn3
  Replies (25) Good night (4208) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people? http://tfl.nu/g8mb
  Replies (15) Good night (4646) Bad night (1052) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet http://tfl.nu/ttdp
  Replies (41) Good night (5125) Bad night (1245) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head http://tfl.nu/hdz6
  Replies (23) Good night (7398) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard". http://tfl.nu/w1c8
  Replies (18) Good night (6321) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative http://tfl.nu/aljj
  Replies (6) Good night (5058) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon. http://tfl.nu/pf2r
  Replies (21) Good night (6690) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose. http://tfl.nu/41p8
  Replies (35) Good night (8557) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (178) Good night (48653) Bad night (1815)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again. http://tfl.nu/qw6q
  Replies (48) Good night (18690) Bad night (1653) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good, http://tfl.nu/ohf2
  Replies (11) Good night (3238) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off.. http://tfl.nu/csfy
  Replies (5) Good night (3079) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there.... http://tfl.nu/ypb5
  Replies (10) Good night (5448) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER http://tfl.nu/i5te
  Replies (10) Good night (3805) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/srza
  Replies (9) Good night (4758) Bad night (1465) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again http://tfl.nu/n0xl
  Replies (5) Good night (2886) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool http://tfl.nu/n767
  Replies (5) Good night (1895) Bad night (915) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember. http://tfl.nu/2y89
  Replies (6) Good night (1726) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns. http://tfl.nu/xebd
  Replies (56) Good night (12963) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door? http://tfl.nu/on5x
  Replies (8) Good night (3992) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume... http://tfl.nu/x6iy
  Replies (5) Good night (4172) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on. http://tfl.nu/x1xg
  Replies (21) Good night (6572) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT. http://tfl.nu/gdsf
  Replies (6) Good night (4844) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock... http://tfl.nu/tura
  Replies (15) Good night (5218) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us.. http://tfl.nu/3ryz
  Replies (11) Good night (4505) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store http://tfl.nu/0ult
  Replies (25) Good night (4417) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do http://tfl.nu/7olq
  Replies (5) Good night (4929) Bad night (1066) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops. http://tfl.nu/2l9n
  Replies (11) Good night (4312) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  a search helicopter?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): a search helicopter?! http://tfl.nu/5l8d
  Replies (25) Good night (4970) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea? http://tfl.nu/yszl
  Replies (6) Good night (3005) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit. http://tfl.nu/afy7
  Replies (14) Good night (6603) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high. http://tfl.nu/wyb4
  Replies (15) Good night (4730) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny http://tfl.nu/a88g
  Replies (17) Good night (6107) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me http://tfl.nu/kwsp
  Replies (9) Good night (7072) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea. http://tfl.nu/ohgs
  Replies (22) Good night (4127) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds http://tfl.nu/p9wa
  Replies (26) Good night (10952) Bad night (1151) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool. http://tfl.nu/8q12
  Replies (14) Good night (6193) Bad night (995) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ. http://tfl.nu/a72f
  Replies (6) Good night (5256) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Are you still at the party or did I leave?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Are you still at the party or did I leave? http://tfl.nu/pph4
  Replies (18) Good night (6575) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all. http://tfl.nu/c3dm
  Replies (16) Good night (5714) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice http://tfl.nu/hsgc
  Replies (45) Good night (14045) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston, we have a problem

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  where are u?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Houston, we have a problem (781): where are u? (617): Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here. http://tfl.nu/zyw6
  Replies (43) Good night (14193) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Holy shit r u serious? How?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo
  Replies (156) Good night (6143) Bad night (39424)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things. http://tfl.nu/chhw
  Replies (6) Good night (3279) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait until you see the roof.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help. (1-978): Wait until you see the roof. http://tfl.nu/itso
  Replies (34) Good night (4270) Bad night (1210) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  didn't feel it. :)

  (217): View more from Illinois

  It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  wait what? so it's not in america?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning (1-217): didn't feel it. :) (217): It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't. (1-217): wait what? so it's not in america? http://tfl.nu/0q24
  Replies (65) Good night (874) Bad night (8267)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN

  (347): View more from New York

  I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN (347): I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN http://tfl.nu/s3su
  Replies (41) Good night (10623) Bad night (1852)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  3:26am: come over

  (847): View more from Illinois

  you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over

  (248): View more from Michigan

  4:11am: mnlodp

  (847): View more from Illinois

  dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248) 3:26am: come over (847): you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over (248) 4:11am: mnlodp (847): dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over http://tfl.nu/tbh5
  Replies (7) Good night (1319) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high. http://tfl.nu/w9mm
  Replies (28) Good night (5876) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (246) Good night (64501) Bad night (2455) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58? http://tfl.nu/d4gh
  Replies (13) Good night (778) Bad night (3800) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes http://tfl.nu/cth1
  Replies (21) Good night (7254) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk http://tfl.nu/l5et
  Replies (7) Good night (4022) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic. http://tfl.nu/hh2b
  Replies (32) Good night (3644) Bad night (4728) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic. http://tfl.nu/5aat
  Replies (35) Good night (5934) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle. http://tfl.nu/aifz
  Replies (11) Good night (3508) Bad night (1779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it http://tfl.nu/r7l5
  Replies (16) Good night (5001) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars" http://tfl.nu/ujcf
  Replies (7) Good night (4517) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment. http://tfl.nu/yr4f
  Replies (10) Good night (2989) Bad night (1575) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire http://tfl.nu/ncts
  Replies (10) Good night (4722) Bad night (1311) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish? http://tfl.nu/s2pv
  Replies (41) Good night (4975) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions. http://tfl.nu/7qp6
  Replies (29) Good night (7889) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  batman just walked across the sidewalk

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  lay off the drugs

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no for real he was wearing a cape

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): batman just walked across the sidewalk (1-630): lay off the drugs (630): no for real he was wearing a cape http://tfl.nu/eo01
  Replies (15) Good night (4547) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper http://tfl.nu/xl5z
  Replies (89) Good night (9300) Bad night (1303) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it. http://tfl.nu/bdg5
  Replies (34) Good night (10271) Bad night (1123) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever. http://tfl.nu/wzae
  Replies (126) Good night (22031) Bad night (1353) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
  Replies (128) Good night (7629) Bad night (22866)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands http://tfl.nu/c6ww
  Replies (83) Good night (46885) Bad night (1719) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back. http://tfl.nu/ap60
  Replies (27) Good night (6554) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations http://tfl.nu/lsw6
  Replies (6) Good night (5303) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt? http://tfl.nu/t83k
  Replies (10) Good night (3336) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch http://tfl.nu/4wbs
  Replies (4) Good night (4990) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat http://tfl.nu/ast4
  Replies (56) Good night (14976) Bad night (1203) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick. http://tfl.nu/d1ac
  Replies (21) Good night (5486) Bad night (1039) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  grab my backpack.....its in the fridge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): grab my backpack.....its in the fridge http://tfl.nu/prjt
  Replies (19) Good night (7495) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  someone get that fucking seahorse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): someone get that fucking seahorse. http://tfl.nu/vz56
  Replies (20) Good night (2382) Bad night (278) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  but the lizard people decide everything anyway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): but the lizard people decide everything anyway http://tfl.nu/21qe
  Replies (27) Good night (3485) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets. http://tfl.nu/8b9j
  Replies (11) Good night (4674) Bad night (594) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt. http://tfl.nu/j6pk
  Replies (9) Good night (434) Bad night (2290) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja http://tfl.nu/h6o5
  Replies (30) Good night (7024) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you. http://tfl.nu/vzzi
  Replies (7) Good night (3663) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming. http://tfl.nu/4nef
  Replies (51) Good night (8256) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it. http://tfl.nu/vp9s
  Replies (19) Good night (5640) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Have you learned any life lessons?

  (406): View more from Montana

  I like big butts and I cannot lie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Have you learned any life lessons? (406): I like big butts and I cannot lie. http://tfl.nu/s51u
  Replies (11) Good night (2403) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing. http://tfl.nu/qkg3
  Replies (6) Good night (3243) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist http://tfl.nu/hzre
  Replies (50) Good night (23039) Bad night (1294) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Toaster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you? (316): Toaster http://tfl.nu/fbwm
  Replies (48) Good night (24103) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you? http://tfl.nu/ocb5
  Replies (131) Good night (30703) Bad night (1947) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity http://tfl.nu/qinl
  Replies (67) Good night (11338) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Thanks for getting me home last night. (832): No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa. http://tfl.nu/wftp
  Replies (29) Good night (8571) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep. http://tfl.nu/o54g
  Replies (36) Good night (12103) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (499) Good night (82813) Bad night (7566)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue. http://tfl.nu/skao
  Replies (13) Good night (4425) Bad night (3180) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants http://tfl.nu/owqu
  Replies (15) Good night (7268) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself. http://tfl.nu/xo78
  Replies (39) Good night (11795) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic. http://tfl.nu/n8qw
  Replies (18) Good night (4414) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us http://tfl.nu/ml7j
  Replies (3) Good night (2465) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt