Texts From Last Night · begoffer's Favorites

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begoffer's Favorites Texts:

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(850): View more from Florida

The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates

Fav 12 7611 1537
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(941): View more from Florida

its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.

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(407): View more from Florida

How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.

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(630): View more from Illinois

yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed

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(815): View more from Illinois

im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine

Fav 27 6217 1568
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(307): View more from Wyoming

there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence

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