Texts From Last Night

ohirawr's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write http://tfl.nu/1t11
  Replies (48) Good night (8572) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up. http://tfl.nu/h2lf
  Replies (23) Good night (7578) Bad night (4487) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  Best pick-up line ever!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck." (1-806): Best pick-up line ever! http://tfl.nu/plrf
  Replies (35) Good night (9197) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle. http://tfl.nu/34ph
  Replies (64) Good night (841) Bad night (2863)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA. http://tfl.nu/w336
  Replies (52) Good night (1571) Bad night (3840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign

  (562): View more from California

  You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign (562): You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo http://tfl.nu/9pp5
  Replies (68) Good night (5423) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

  (1-310): View more from California

  damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley. (1-310): damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now. http://tfl.nu/1545
  Replies (65) Good night (1806) Bad night (2771)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska http://tfl.nu/incr
  Replies (67) Good night (513) Bad night (3747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests http://tfl.nu/dcsh
  Replies (196) Good night (76748) Bad night (3808) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox (1-248): You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities. http://tfl.nu/l19y
  Replies (85) Good night (2480) Bad night (8707)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries http://tfl.nu/pohi
  Replies (17) Good night (4315) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You mean bread?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast? (404): You mean bread? http://tfl.nu/0bp8
  Replies (60) Good night (16100) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada http://tfl.nu/l5wm
  Replies (414) Good night (6925) Bad night (1760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (499) Good night (82815) Bad night (7566)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

  (917): View more from New York City

  no it doesn't.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere. (720): ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning... (917): no it doesn't. http://tfl.nu/6x89
  Replies (34) Good night (17260) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden? http://tfl.nu/x4ab
  Replies (110) Good night (11817) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You're 20.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear. (810): You're 20. (734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR! http://tfl.nu/k2jt
  Replies (148) Good night (10879) Bad night (1813)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Welcome to my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big (720): Welcome to my life http://tfl.nu/0f9d
  Replies (34) Good night (5799) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.

  (352): View more from Florida

  I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency. (352): I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial. http://tfl.nu/wg41
  Replies (28) Good night (6982) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos. http://tfl.nu/15bf
  Replies (74) Good night (16847) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it. http://tfl.nu/q4is
  Replies (32) Good night (9057) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it" http://tfl.nu/sq67
  Replies (9) Good night (5361) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom. (702): Bro... we didn't even hang out last night?? http://tfl.nu/2ylu
  Replies (10) Good night (1764) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight http://tfl.nu/30xi
  Replies (16) Good night (4098) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool. http://tfl.nu/d5dr
  Replies (45) Good night (10349) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me. http://tfl.nu/826q
  Replies (130) Good night (13787) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is http://tfl.nu/hhp3
  Replies (54) Good night (4475) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat http://tfl.nu/5lfj
  Replies (63) Good night (11094) Bad night (1660) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight http://tfl.nu/exu9
  Replies (73) Good night (962) Bad night (2604) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  Glad to see your being a lady about this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture (1-336): Glad to see your being a lady about this http://tfl.nu/pcgd
  Replies (49) Good night (8904) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.

  (512): View more from Texas

  babe, don't say it like that!

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight. (512): babe, don't say it like that! (713): I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening. http://tfl.nu/iuma
  Replies (137) Good night (36757) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?

  (587): View more from Alberta

  She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl? (780): You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus? (587): She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass. http://tfl.nu/i4m5
  Replies (68) Good night (1962) Bad night (4189)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me. http://tfl.nu/2kto
  Replies (13) Good night (6019) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn. http://tfl.nu/mlpv
  Replies (124) Good night (5601) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  i fucked a milf yesterday.

  (619): View more from California

  i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): i fucked a milf yesterday. (619): i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old. http://tfl.nu/l3df
  Replies (28) Good night (12660) Bad night (1416)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time http://tfl.nu/w7q6
  Replies (13) Good night (7164) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina. http://tfl.nu/7xv1
  Replies (14) Good night (987) Bad night (4050) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  well..are you winning?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head. (215): well..are you winning? http://tfl.nu/bl8w
  Replies (24) Good night (1193) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone http://tfl.nu/hyr8
  Replies (240) Good night (1757) Bad night (7983) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  im so drunk with asians

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  where?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  always

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): im so drunk with asians (1-614): where? (614): always http://tfl.nu/is91
  Replies (43) Good night (7068) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence. http://tfl.nu/wy8q
  Replies (14) Good night (2383) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales? http://tfl.nu/gvx1
  Replies (30) Good night (6400) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard". (202): Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded. http://tfl.nu/4upv
  Replies (39) Good night (6435) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  That's funny. Are they weird looking???

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart. (1-262): That's funny. Are they weird looking??? (262): OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS. http://tfl.nu/egmz
  Replies (38) Good night (8394) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today. http://tfl.nu/4lg3
  Replies (52) Good night (9683) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide http://tfl.nu/vkti
  Replies (16) Good night (4688) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Heyyyy darlin are you busy?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Heyyyy darlin are you busy? (1-319): Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night. http://tfl.nu/pwb0
  Replies (34) Good night (23965) Bad night (1287)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit http://tfl.nu/6wkt
  Replies (12) Good night (9117) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks

  (917): View more from New York City

  this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed

  (917): View more from New York City

  he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?

  (718): View more from New York

  messed up. what color are the wings?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks (917): this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed (917): he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF? (718): messed up. what color are the wings? http://tfl.nu/7ui0
  Replies (11) Good night (1858) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): friends don't let friends hook up with gingers. http://tfl.nu/lykv
  Replies (174) Good night (5918) Bad night (2804) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe. http://tfl.nu/4q4f
  Replies (13) Good night (5683) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  I should injure you considerably.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so. (1-847): I should injure you considerably. http://tfl.nu/3r9j
  Replies (86) Good night (3729) Bad night (1282) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home http://tfl.nu/32l0
  Replies (53) Good night (26400) Bad night (2228) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back

  (914): View more from New York

  that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back (914): that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart http://tfl.nu/d09e
  Replies (102) Good night (1403) Bad night (5188)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.

  (650): View more from California

  I tried to assassinate the ginger baby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide. (650): I tried to assassinate the ginger baby http://tfl.nu/c72u
  Replies (28) Good night (1348) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave. http://tfl.nu/yi61
  Replies (21) Good night (4081) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical" http://tfl.nu/2xah
  Replies (20) Good night (972) Bad night (2809) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  first off, his name is dougie. strike one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): first off, his name is dougie. strike one. http://tfl.nu/yrg3
  Replies (22) Good night (825) Bad night (4342) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Remember that time you hooked up with him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit? (617) Remember that time you hooked up with him? http://tfl.nu/yz0c
  Replies (7) Good night (404) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Tell me the dirtiest joke you know

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  Sarah Palin

  (907): View more from Alaska

  god, I love you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Tell me the dirtiest joke you know (1-907): Sarah Palin (907): god, I love you http://tfl.nu/fmd4
  Replies (100) Good night (10003) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On." http://tfl.nu/jjrw
  Replies (26) Good night (3978) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.

  (206): View more from Washington

  Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk. (206): Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy. http://tfl.nu/ynk1
  Replies (21) Good night (6618) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks. http://tfl.nu/kxma
  Replies (34) Good night (1843) Bad night (2252)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing http://tfl.nu/5ke6
  Replies (17) Good night (3726) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life? http://tfl.nu/6stl
  Replies (51) Good night (4259) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj . http://tfl.nu/vtaw
  Replies (17) Good night (7798) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little. http://tfl.nu/w7gx
  Replies (31) Good night (702) Bad night (2755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex. http://tfl.nu/aztc
  Replies (89) Good night (12907) Bad night (1276) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs. http://tfl.nu/ibfv
  Replies (124) Good night (40249) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I GOT MY PERIOD!

  (706): View more from Georgia

  damn. i had names picked out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I GOT MY PERIOD! (706): damn. i had names picked out. http://tfl.nu/tcr6
  Replies (18) Good night (6843) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus? http://tfl.nu/ye38
  Replies (5) Good night (1395) Bad night (290) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal. http://tfl.nu/vbhe
  Replies (24) Good night (7491) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day

  (240): View more from Maryland

  hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day (240): hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine http://tfl.nu/f8k7
  Replies (10) Good night (3962) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face http://tfl.nu/l9l7
  Replies (23) Good night (1960) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Good luck man

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  I dont need it. Shes easy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): Good luck man (1-514): I dont need it. Shes easy. http://tfl.nu/vh2g
  Replies (8) Good night (1646) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist http://tfl.nu/hzre
  Replies (50) Good night (23041) Bad night (1294) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I like you better when you drink

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I like you better when I drink too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I like you better when you drink (708): I like you better when I drink too http://tfl.nu/cvjp
  Replies (15) Good night (4207) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree. http://tfl.nu/pq0u
  Replies (20) Good night (3155) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace. http://tfl.nu/1kl9
  Replies (27) Good night (426) Bad night (2113)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I had better be fucking involved with step four.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez. (1-614): I had better be fucking involved with step four. http://tfl.nu/poz4
  Replies (46) Good night (4982) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Playoffs. This shit is serious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight. (440): I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over. (248): Playoffs. This shit is serious. http://tfl.nu/txqi
  Replies (59) Good night (6471) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future. http://tfl.nu/04uk
  Replies (31) Good night (1441) Bad night (6110)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics" http://tfl.nu/bnvl
  Replies (6) Good night (857) Bad night (3627) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Jealous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls. (573): Jealous. http://tfl.nu/6b8u
  Replies (9) Good night (3504) Bad night (1460)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier http://tfl.nu/xjeu
  Replies (6) Good night (7593) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later" http://tfl.nu/6byl
  Replies (14) Good night (7101) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night. http://tfl.nu/4khi
  Replies (34) Good night (4280) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar. (303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick. http://tfl.nu/w6wy
  Replies (109) Good night (36355) Bad night (2651)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  three words: i give head

  (770): View more from Georgia

  three words: not that well

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): three words: i give head (770): three words: not that well http://tfl.nu/mukd
  Replies (65) Good night (960) Bad night (8166)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies. http://tfl.nu/26xq
  Replies (16) Good night (2297) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year http://tfl.nu/ku2e
  Replies (58) Good night (7791) Bad night (1555) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody. http://tfl.nu/blud
  Replies (55) Good night (10488) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie. (443): im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile http://tfl.nu/7kar
  Replies (31) Good night (1989) Bad night (5069)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me. http://tfl.nu/mwnt
  Replies (57) Good night (13743) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that http://tfl.nu/ubil
  Replies (37) Good night (1952) Bad night (6170) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Holy shit r u serious? How?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo
  Replies (156) Good night (6143) Bad night (39426)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost? http://tfl.nu/osjc
  Replies (21) Good night (2551) Bad night (6451) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit. http://tfl.nu/rw2b
  Replies (41) Good night (3530) Bad night (4092) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Thanks for getting me home last night. (832): No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa. http://tfl.nu/wftp
  Replies (29) Good night (8571) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick http://tfl.nu/i68n
  Replies (71) Good night (17661) Bad night (3272) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive. http://tfl.nu/qvhh
  Replies (92) Good night (7616) Bad night (1381) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer. http://tfl.nu/fm8w
  Replies (64) Good night (8674) Bad night (980) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?

  (713): View more from Texas

  lets deal with that after we figure out where i am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen? (713): lets deal with that after we figure out where i am http://tfl.nu/0phs
  Replies (21) Good night (10339) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  You don't think I'm weird or immature right?

  (917): View more from New York City

  No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): You don't think I'm weird or immature right? (917): No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets http://tfl.nu/6cpc
  Replies (40) Good night (4454) Bad night (3706)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  You at least unplugged it right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought... (1-540): You at least unplugged it right? http://tfl.nu/cwvi
  Replies (37) Good night (922) Bad night (3762) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room. (1-480): Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess? (480): You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about. http://tfl.nu/fd7a
  Replies (38) Good night (6969) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole http://tfl.nu/otvq
  Replies (430) Good night (52069) Bad night (5861) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i always forget guys have bellybuttons

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): i always forget guys have bellybuttons http://tfl.nu/yqdn
  Replies (84) Good night (3349) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs http://tfl.nu/68oq
  Replies (21) Good night (3869) Bad night (887) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you http://tfl.nu/pqp2
  Replies (29) Good night (1142) Bad night (1967) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

  (360): View more from Washington

  I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch. (360): I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/x3ve
  Replies (92) Good night (4348) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?! http://tfl.nu/vv8e
  Replies (26) Good night (11869) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser http://tfl.nu/r42a
  Replies (30) Good night (10261) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you. http://tfl.nu/twb2
  Replies (20) Good night (1369) Bad night (6393) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked... http://tfl.nu/ab3l
  Replies (27) Good night (6375) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old. http://tfl.nu/nedp
  Replies (105) Good night (1630) Bad night (5409) Order T-Shirt