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  • You should have immediately French kissed the Jesus freak who asked you that question, regardless of gender. They would have been so aroused and excited they would have gone back to their Jesus freak room, thrown out all their Jesus freak shit, replaced it with online porn and sought you out to thank you. Trust me on this one.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 5:06pm
  • Gotta love the 847 !!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:13pm
  • amen 522. jesus, have some fun. just because people like sex does not mean their a whore. lighten up and get your dick wet. -love a female

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 5:31pm
  • Freak out the Jesus freaks!! I love it!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 5:00pm
  • Last year, there were more children molested by priests than by child predators.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 9:23pm
  • I'm gonna cover my dick in pancake batter and shove it in a waffle iron.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 4:50pm
  • I think 4:52 needs to get laid

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 5:22pm
  • I'm waiting til marriage. ;]

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 3:11pm
  • I would have done the same. Good work

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 11:36am
  • I say more power to you. And if you believe in moral fiber why are you on this website? Like really explain me that.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 5:06pm
  • religion sucks dick. in general

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 9:42pm
  • this just got 'tiny dancer' by elton john stuck in my head

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 5:03pm
  • Sex, unlike God, is real and actually helps people. Just saying. -Cpt. Obvious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 9:32am
  • do you godly people on here not read any of these texts on the website? the vast majority are "disrespectful"/inappropriate/disgusting/effing hilarious. get used to it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 9:22pm
  • haha I said that one time, then one of the kids pulled out a bible and started reading verses to me.... i tried to leave, but he followed me to my dorm... it was fucking messed up

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 5:35pm
  • Yesssss!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 5, 10 at 9:59pm
  • Hero

    Submitted by anu on Jan 18, 10 at 12:26am
  • See there's the problem. Jesus freaks try to get our younger element when they don't know what the hell they want. Jesus freaks should be ashamed...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:32pm
  • You should have told them to ask the little boy in your basement.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 6:48am
  • If you believe in Jesus, then who gave you a dick anyway?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 8, 09 at 5:42am
  • I believe in God, but, I also love sex...does this make me a bad person? :-/

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 6:45pm
  • I think 5:31 just failed at life. That's why you dont get any

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 5:31pm
  • I love messing with Jesus people like that.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:03pm
  • jesus was just a heritic who preached hope to the hopeless in a dark time. Then he died and had elaborately embelished stories written about him and his life....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:58pm
  • Jesus people asked me if I agreed with premarital sex and I pointed out to random kids in the park and sed their mine lol I was like 15 so she was so shockedd!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:26pm
  • 11:18 you sound so fucking stupid.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 11:33pm
  • The faith over facts crowd is gunna be so dissapointed when they die lol.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:22pm
  • 559....I'll be the lucky guy

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 1:40am
  • 622.... Have you ever seen the exorcist? I bet you masturbate like that

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 12:11am
  • U gotta test drivevit before u buy it. U wouldn't buy a car without a nice long test drive

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:36pm
  • im christian and even i think that this is funny. i dont like when people force things on you,especially religion so0o =] you did the right thing. besides...its not like you lied anyway

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 7:30pm
  • Ur goin to hell too?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 10:46pm
  • Jesus loves whores!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:59pm
  • Fuck you religious assholes

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 10:07pm
  • Man why is everyone hatin on Jesus? If a mailman fucked up a letter you were supposed to get, you wouldn't be mad at the sender would you? I think you kinda overreacted bro but hey it's your choice. I'm a Christian and a virgin by choice, but I bet it'd not every day you hear a Christian say fuck. Dont group us all togeter not all of us are like that

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 6:22am
  • Omfg, hahaahhhh.\nYes <3

    Submitted by kayt_69 on Jul 13, 10 at 3:59am
  • "I, Jesus Christ, am a bunch of made up bullshit designed by parents to keep my kids from having sex, swearing, and drinking. I suck massive dick." From the book of Logic

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 5:25pm
  • This def happened on an MSU campus lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 7:54am
  • It's funny how many people are assuming this is a girl.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 4:01am
  • I just tell them about how I love sucking dick.. but I'm a guy so YMMV.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 7:25pm
  • suck a bag of dicks 450

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 4:51pm
  • There's an app for that

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 4:02am
  • In Soviet Russia there are no Jesus people. If there were they would have pre-marital sex with you!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 1:34am
  • The devils greatest achievement was making people believe he is not real, it's not to late for u guys...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:33pm
  • anyways, that was my little speech haha. im not trying to force christianity on anyone! but if you want to learn more, just ask :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 3:37pm
  • Idiots and blasphemous heathens. js

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 11:21pm
  • Ur a bunch of clitoris sucking dick munchers

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:23pm
  • Jesus saves 1 corinthians 6:9-11

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:40pm
  • TFLN is a great barometer for the level of our countries idiocracy. You read and a can only cone to one conclusion; We're fucked.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 2:50am
  • haha, 6:33 needs to get laid.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:37pm
  • i think i need to get laid... and the second 5:31. cuz they didn't fail

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 5:49pm
  • You're all idiots you have no respect for God. Even if you don't believe you don't need to be disrespectful.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 8:59pm
  • you must go to notre dame haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 6:53pm
  • That's hot! Pop that pu$$y ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 1:45pm
  • My name is Brother Micah, and you're a dirty masturbator that's going to hell. See ya there!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 10:33pm
  • and whores love jesus

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 7:11pm
  • I'm not a super Jesus freak and I've gotten laid before. I beleive in god but hate these people that force it on others. They give a bad name to the people who give people a choice.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 1:24am
  • 11:12 if only you knew how to spell what you're prob so good at cause you don't get real pussy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 11:33pm
  • I don't belive in god, so i poke fun at him, just like I do all other primitive religions like Christianity, judiisam ect. Except budists cuz they are the only religion that is trully peacefull and you gotta respect that.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 11:18pm
  • Jesus never got laid

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:49pm
  • Yeah, people who believe differently than me suck! I'm a rebel! College life rocks! Take that world!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 10:55pm
  • God created sex. It's sad that the world turned this wonderful gift to lust. Don't you think that it's funny that we Christians are much happier than ppl who do whatever they want. It's alright, they'll get it one day. Hopefully sooner than later.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 3:14am
  • 11:32- loose asshole = less constipation Obviously you haven't gotten the dick out of your ass so you can take a decent crap. Jealous much?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 11:43pm
  • I did this before I left Baylor three years ago. So rewarding.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 2:53am
  • 5:51 ur going to hell... Have fun...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:02pm
  • I think 5:30 needs to get laid

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 5:31pm
  • Have fun in hell 5:31!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:01pm
  • Hey never say jesus in vein!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 9:55pm
  • you are absolutely amazing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 4:07pm
  • No 1 cares just keep on masterbating. That's all that maters....masterbating

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 11:12pm
  • I agree 6:19. I hate that. We aren't all asses. Some of us live normal lives and believe in god and try to live our lives the best way. A lot of Christians judge people and I'm sorry for them ruining religion for l you who hate religious people.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 6, 09 at 11:39pm
  • Now if you could use the correct form of "vain," youd sound a lot better.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 10:02pm
  • Dear bible thumpers. Your weak people. Shut upbq will all your imaginary friend bull shit

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 3:50am
  • Agreed. Gotta love the 847! That's where I'm at and Jesus people attack me to. Reading this I have some ammo. Why the hell do religous fanatics have to try to convert? Because of awesome responses like that of 847, and the joy that such responses give to us 'sacreligous folk'!!! Haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:19pm
  • This stopped being funny a while back. Now it's just trolling

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 10:08pm
  • Hahaha this is hilarious. If you don't believe in god you're not too worried about disrespecting him. It's just so much fun sometimes messing with the super Christian people

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 9:12pm
  • Love it!!! Take that Jesus ppl!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:33pm
  • Trolling is fun, huh?

    Submitted by sophia3394 on Sep 1, 13 at 1:11am
  • christians are confused followers

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 8:45pm
  • yummm, dick munching... 8===========D O :

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 2:29pm
  • please tell me you at on campus at SIU. B/C i told 'em i was Catholic today and they looked at me like i was the devil.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 11:47pm
  • WELLS HALL MSU!!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 3:11pm
  • this kids a fucking reject. Never happened.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 11:45am
  • Loser Jesus doesn't have time for losers sure it wasn't satan.?.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:58pm
  • oh weird they were on my campus today too

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 7:15pm
  • if you ever feel like exploiting religious radicals, wells hall is the place to be. monday thru friday, ALL day long. they just love this stuff.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 10:21am
  • Guys, you've got it all wrong... -JHC

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 2:25am
  • 11:32, ok apparently I need to specify that I'm a lesbian. But why should you care about the health and state of my anus anyway? You're too kind :) -11:27

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 11:40pm
  • you guys are all funny as fuck!!! whack it iys easier

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 6:02pm
  • That's because you're a whore with no self-esteem or career prospects. Probably the girl who sucks the stripper's cock on a girls night out.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 4:52pm