Texts From Last Night

hotbabe114's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  they just started filling water ballons with vodka.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  on my way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): they just started filling water ballons with vodka. (1-702): on my way. http://tfl.nu/jo3z
  Replies (13) Good night (3861) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  It was like getting head from an anaconda

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): It was like getting head from an anaconda http://tfl.nu/fnhr
  Replies (23) Good night (2944) Bad night (2053) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank? http://tfl.nu/b51n
  Replies (5) Good night (2046) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better http://tfl.nu/bdvs
  Replies (3) Good night (2410) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  we live in such a classy society.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead. (815): we live in such a classy society. http://tfl.nu/glf0
  Replies (25) Good night (5503) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!

  (1-310): View more from California

  you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee! (1-310): you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right? http://tfl.nu/vyk6
  Replies (30) Good night (11605) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you http://tfl.nu/8puo
  Replies (39) Good night (19387) Bad night (959) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD. http://tfl.nu/zazo
  Replies (7) Good night (3150) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ. http://tfl.nu/s7ef
  Replies (30) Good night (13402) Bad night (1039) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass. http://tfl.nu/6q4x
  Replies (27) Good night (11381) Bad night (1055) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again. http://tfl.nu/54yy
  Replies (18) Good night (1799) Bad night (6080) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis http://tfl.nu/pim3
  Replies (90) Good night (959) Bad night (4651) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell http://tfl.nu/jfse
  Replies (17) Good night (5706) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis" http://tfl.nu/h67z
  Replies (20) Good night (870) Bad night (5263) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was http://tfl.nu/p0yn
  Replies (13) Good night (7103) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex http://tfl.nu/lecw
  Replies (62) Good night (2031) Bad night (13168) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers. http://tfl.nu/qfx8
  Replies (25) Good night (4563) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend http://tfl.nu/4xq5
  Replies (16) Good night (5594) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music. http://tfl.nu/oyb0
  Replies (24) Good night (7712) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone http://tfl.nu/3ij4
  Replies (17) Good night (6333) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family http://tfl.nu/olwi
  Replies (7) Good night (3252) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas. http://tfl.nu/8z68
  Replies (10) Good night (2853) Bad night (1816) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"? http://tfl.nu/nflv
  Replies (13) Good night (4822) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone http://tfl.nu/zfoz
  Replies (8) Good night (7940) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail. http://tfl.nu/tpxz
  Replies (24) Good night (10052) Bad night (1356) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN http://tfl.nu/nyld
  Replies (15) Good night (6951) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Hippo gnu deer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Hippo gnu deer http://tfl.nu/wuid
  Replies (17) Good night (5445) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us http://tfl.nu/1uhw
  Replies (29) Good night (6054) Bad night (1050) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna. http://tfl.nu/vetf
  Replies (42) Good night (2191) Bad night (7045)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST (602): I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise! http://tfl.nu/2ck7
  Replies (36) Good night (6817) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to => http://tfl.nu/cnq4
  Replies (52) Good night (674) Bad night (10088) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom? http://tfl.nu/19xa
  Replies (55) Good night (970) Bad night (16969) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"? http://tfl.nu/jsyi
  Replies (12) Good night (2351) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat. http://tfl.nu/bin7
  Replies (9) Good night (1657) Bad night (5109) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  nevermind its newpaper

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it (651): nevermind its newpaper http://tfl.nu/18ms
  Replies (29) Good night (5281) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS http://tfl.nu/ohp5
  Replies (4) Good night (3370) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared. http://tfl.nu/cseo
  Replies (9) Good night (2992) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka http://tfl.nu/i4zm
  Replies (6) Good night (7849) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth http://tfl.nu/es05
  Replies (24) Good night (1573) Bad night (3314) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars (910): IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT http://tfl.nu/70k5
  Replies (82) Good night (39575) Bad night (1945)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings. http://tfl.nu/xbcs
  Replies (11) Good night (8813) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face http://tfl.nu/9y4h
  Replies (55) Good night (21360) Bad night (1235) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Yup.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yup.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then? (636): Yup. (314): Yup. http://tfl.nu/bp2u
  Replies (70) Good night (24693) Bad night (1717)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!" http://tfl.nu/l7i0
  Replies (6) Good night (5659) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  69 |D_O

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  wtf does that mean??

  (602): View more from Arizona

  it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): 69 |D_O (1-602): wtf does that mean?? (602): it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently" http://tfl.nu/6ega
  Replies (59) Good night (7239) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Talk to you next week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period. (601): Talk to you next week http://tfl.nu/n6cb
  Replies (29) Good night (742) Bad night (1637)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends? http://tfl.nu/lhmx
  Replies (8) Good night (2991) Bad night (1183) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance. http://tfl.nu/vgvp
  Replies (69) Good night (8806) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey. http://tfl.nu/pfjh
  Replies (19) Good night (6508) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5 http://tfl.nu/tk6f
  Replies (51) Good night (5552) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you http://tfl.nu/tpo5
  Replies (30) Good night (13534) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/jdv3
  Replies (24) Good night (11683) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown http://tfl.nu/l6kf
  Replies (14) Good night (3052) Bad night (1867) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M http://tfl.nu/v1d0
  Replies (26) Good night (7599) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?

  (954): View more from Florida

  Why wouldn't there be.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower? (954): Why wouldn't there be. http://tfl.nu/wwnv
  Replies (28) Good night (7483) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this' http://tfl.nu/libu
  Replies (15) Good night (5322) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina.. (1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there. http://tfl.nu/fkqx
  Replies (33) Good night (19489) Bad night (2012)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this? http://tfl.nu/9ow4
  Replies (8) Good night (7175) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide. http://tfl.nu/bl6v
  Replies (74) Good night (6425) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon?? http://tfl.nu/c1fp
  Replies (33) Good night (10532) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs. http://tfl.nu/6w3y
  Replies (31) Good night (6287) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !

  (1-716): View more from New York

  How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today ! (1-716): How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...' http://tfl.nu/v4tn
  Replies (48) Good night (9295) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego http://tfl.nu/c4f3
  Replies (8) Good night (4652) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night http://tfl.nu/co3c
  Replies (32) Good night (5471) Bad night (2447) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I cont stop tolking in a british axsent http://tfl.nu/j2m9
  Replies (45) Good night (3872) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now? http://tfl.nu/9ud5
  Replies (57) Good night (2730) Bad night (596) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  She acts like you when your on meds

  (510): View more from California

  She acts like batman?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): She acts like you when your on meds (510): She acts like batman? http://tfl.nu/zvs9
  Replies (17) Good night (6181) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  yes. helicopter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back? (816): yes. helicopter. http://tfl.nu/re1i
  Replies (19) Good night (5457) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ..So we should take it off Youtube?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you. (816): ..So we should take it off Youtube? http://tfl.nu/93os
  Replies (28) Good night (10931) Bad night (1528)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  hows the party?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ists fjcssing insceredle

  (913): View more from Kansas

  be there in 10

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): hows the party? (816): ists fjcssing insceredle (913): be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/innz
  Replies (61) Good night (26581) Bad night (1201)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life. http://tfl.nu/paqh
  Replies (71) Good night (25738) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him. http://tfl.nu/25q8
  Replies (63) Good night (27870) Bad night (1189) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right http://tfl.nu/htd0
  Replies (31) Good night (28852) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there? http://tfl.nu/2pix
  Replies (104) Good night (38282) Bad night (1721)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/zq8a
  Replies (203) Good night (40004) Bad night (3195) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Tie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet (908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building (201): Tie http://tfl.nu/a5wy
  Replies (97) Good night (43616) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): The ticket read "Found nude in a tree" http://tfl.nu/6rf6
  Replies (47) Good night (47528) Bad night (2091) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss
  Replies (131) Good night (60838) Bad night (1889) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73368) Bad night (2463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/yesg
  Replies (20) Good night (4089) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight http://tfl.nu/k1ij
  Replies (7) Good night (3577) Bad night (1167) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me. http://tfl.nu/oae8
  Replies (26) Good night (8629) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you? http://tfl.nu/hgrf
  Replies (16) Good night (4757) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy" http://tfl.nu/7l02
  Replies (35) Good night (4381) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what if every blade of grass was a penis?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): what if every blade of grass was a penis? http://tfl.nu/ka1d
  Replies (34) Good night (4126) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day. http://tfl.nu/g1ig
  Replies (15) Good night (4437) Bad night (897) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!" http://tfl.nu/ttkj
  Replies (99) Good night (26274) Bad night (1166) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened... http://tfl.nu/unry
  Replies (66) Good night (25123) Bad night (2646) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang". http://tfl.nu/9dw0
  Replies (67) Good night (25468) Bad night (1185) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling. http://tfl.nu/ym3n
  Replies (66) Good night (27340) Bad night (1226) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever. http://tfl.nu/526w
  Replies (48) Good night (28547) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. http://tfl.nu/4wgk
  Replies (45) Good night (28346) Bad night (1969) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2. http://tfl.nu/m96w
  Replies (84) Good night (27552) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute. http://tfl.nu/y17n
  Replies (40) Good night (28137) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me http://tfl.nu/ry9s
  Replies (35) Good night (29632) Bad night (1291) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (124): View more from

  Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (124): Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all. http://tfl.nu/q25u
  Replies (107) Good night (31474) Bad night (1286)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude. I'm so drunk.

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is bryce's mom

  (214): View more from Texas

  I can't wait to have my cock in your ass

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is still bryce's mom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): dude. I'm so drunk. (972): pete, this is bryce's mom (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom http://tfl.nu/lat0
  Replies (180) Good night (36461) Bad night (4989)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night http://tfl.nu/f5gl
  Replies (92) Good night (32255) Bad night (1603)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing. http://tfl.nu/rrc8
  Replies (80) Good night (44142) Bad night (1701) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs. http://tfl.nu/ibfv
  Replies (124) Good night (42324) Bad night (1226) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd

  (443): View more from Maryland

  wasted?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  im pocohantasssss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd (443): wasted? (410): im pocohantasssss http://tfl.nu/gql6
  Replies (109) Good night (43934) Bad night (1995)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
  Replies (206) Good night (51686) Bad night (2730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (833) Good night (142136) Bad night (9312) Order T-Shirt