I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
