Texts From Last Night

llama_tacos's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round. http://tfl.nu/klhn
  Replies (3) Good night (1770) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?

  (1-916): View more from California

  Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room? (1-916): Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne. http://tfl.nu/vsj8
  Replies (10) Good night (4825) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that. http://tfl.nu/pr0e
  Replies (21) Good night (1289) Bad night (5014) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed" http://tfl.nu/kcte
  Replies (7) Good night (2156) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies. http://tfl.nu/iuff
  Replies (14) Good night (2196) Bad night (1698) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen? http://tfl.nu/hze5
  Replies (5) Good night (2427) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight? http://tfl.nu/jadi
  Replies (6) Good night (2981) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  That was the greatest thing i have ever read.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping. (314): That was the greatest thing i have ever read. http://tfl.nu/0exi
  Replies (34) Good night (6793) Bad night (1723)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You are such a cockblock sometimes

  (661): View more from California

  You NEED a cockblock sometimes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): You are such a cockblock sometimes (661): You NEED a cockblock sometimes http://tfl.nu/zl8e
  Replies (10) Good night (4419) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there http://tfl.nu/y3ph
  Replies (16) Good night (1618) Bad night (1982) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel http://tfl.nu/tjoe
  Replies (8) Good night (2665) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again. http://tfl.nu/e05t
  Replies (2) Good night (1998) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart. http://tfl.nu/peyr
  Replies (17) Good night (2878) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck. http://tfl.nu/ib4p
  Replies (4) Good night (1994) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard. http://tfl.nu/oj4g
  Replies (5) Good night (2025) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up. http://tfl.nu/37cl
  Replies (5) Good night (649) Bad night (1359) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero. http://tfl.nu/wa7o
  Replies (17) Good night (4893) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'. http://tfl.nu/t716
  Replies (3) Good night (1702) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals. http://tfl.nu/t5jb
  Replies (19) Good night (3705) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine. http://tfl.nu/8bqc
  Replies (7) Good night (756) Bad night (1948) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (438): View more from Quebec

  Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (438): Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it http://tfl.nu/s0ms
  Replies (10) Good night (596) Bad night (3253) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay. http://tfl.nu/0328
  Replies (6) Good night (1150) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/6l9f
  Replies (4) Good night (2154) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with. http://tfl.nu/j9h4
  Replies (4) Good night (1599) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese. http://tfl.nu/swul
  Replies (4) Good night (1596) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party. http://tfl.nu/3bf6
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (1501) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love http://tfl.nu/30hf
  Replies (17) Good night (6415) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/z9b7
  Replies (16) Good night (3245) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know http://tfl.nu/hfe3
  Replies (5) Good night (1595) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand. http://tfl.nu/7zl1
  Replies (9) Good night (2529) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too http://tfl.nu/f6yj
  Replies (7) Good night (710) Bad night (2501) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time. http://tfl.nu/3esg
  Replies (3) Good night (1930) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja http://tfl.nu/0h0h
  Replies (9) Good night (5025) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan. http://tfl.nu/ypf4
  Replies (9) Good night (1971) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this. http://tfl.nu/9259
  Replies (13) Good night (1627) Bad night (1180) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye. http://tfl.nu/nvha
  Replies (1) Good night (1396) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend. http://tfl.nu/myz5
  Replies (7) Good night (3183) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives http://tfl.nu/2jnq
  Replies (7) Good night (1799) Bad night (1246) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now http://tfl.nu/t7qb
  Replies (19) Good night (947) Bad night (4415)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin. http://tfl.nu/a8q9
  Replies (4) Good night (1916) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood. http://tfl.nu/nrod
  Replies (9) Good night (2375) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/p7x9
  Replies (6) Good night (2236) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly.... http://tfl.nu/m1mg
  Replies (6) Good night (1078) Bad night (1646) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well. http://tfl.nu/04zy
  Replies (5) Good night (1252) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper. http://tfl.nu/fogv
  Replies (6) Good night (1504) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/hxzm
  Replies (3) Good night (1619) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet. http://tfl.nu/it1a
  Replies (4) Good night (1623) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there. http://tfl.nu/94gv
  Replies (17) Good night (995) Bad night (3235) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived http://tfl.nu/83e2
  Replies (5) Good night (624) Bad night (1128) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming. http://tfl.nu/u6dn
  Replies (7) Good night (3983) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him.. http://tfl.nu/bqg4
  Replies (13) Good night (2781) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you. http://tfl.nu/qq0g
  Replies (15) Good night (2360) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor http://tfl.nu/35l1
  Replies (2) Good night (1729) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.” http://tfl.nu/qxku
  Replies (9) Good night (1044) Bad night (1385) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys. http://tfl.nu/ay7v
  Replies (7) Good night (2251) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face. http://tfl.nu/gk53
  Replies (10) Good night (964) Bad night (2187) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous. http://tfl.nu/l7hq
  Replies (7) Good night (2066) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/euqx
  Replies (6) Good night (1843) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (340): I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen. http://tfl.nu/cees
  Replies (25) Good night (3739) Bad night (1113) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper http://tfl.nu/z4y6
  Replies (28) Good night (5490) Bad night (1124) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/nkni
  Replies (4) Good night (1441) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast? http://tfl.nu/9c24
  Replies (34) Good night (3593) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night. http://tfl.nu/hkf5
  Replies (13) Good night (2558) Bad night (1263) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila http://tfl.nu/mhdt
  Replies (8) Good night (1753) Bad night (2355) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just the budget?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget... (316): Just the budget? http://tfl.nu/v45e
  Replies (4) Good night (4322) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats. http://tfl.nu/rm40
  Replies (41) Good night (13984) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle. http://tfl.nu/4ixk
  Replies (16) Good night (484) Bad night (1311) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  u cheatin on me?

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  if i did i would try to upgrade babe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): u cheatin on me? (1-434): if i did i would try to upgrade babe. http://tfl.nu/br4f
  Replies (4) Good night (646) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish" http://tfl.nu/8ky3
  Replies (10) Good night (2846) Bad night (1040) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon http://tfl.nu/1u8n
  Replies (12) Good night (3896) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though http://tfl.nu/qgj2
  Replies (1) Good night (1520) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice. http://tfl.nu/09lg
  Replies (4) Good night (3262) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well. http://tfl.nu/i8n0
  Replies (4) Good night (1851) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet http://tfl.nu/3286
  Replies (5) Good night (2008) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king http://tfl.nu/c906
  Replies (8) Good night (1791) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat http://tfl.nu/blab
  Replies (5) Good night (1788) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that. http://tfl.nu/0n60
  Replies (9) Good night (2741) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete http://tfl.nu/3qb5
  Replies (9) Good night (2770) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year http://tfl.nu/dryh
  Replies (3) Good night (1606) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man http://tfl.nu/qpf8
  Replies (18) Good night (3919) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (975): View more from Missouri

  At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (975): At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt. http://tfl.nu/pzgf
  Replies (5) Good night (2519) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes? http://tfl.nu/tg6b
  Replies (6) Good night (2331) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you http://tfl.nu/i2kd
  Replies (7) Good night (1102) Bad night (1805) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls. http://tfl.nu/n0fo
  Replies (7) Good night (2278) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar. http://tfl.nu/8auj
  Replies (12) Good night (2588) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms http://tfl.nu/pddu
  Replies (6) Good night (2825) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now. http://tfl.nu/ty03
  Replies (5) Good night (3329) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures. http://tfl.nu/dcpy
  Replies (11) Good night (2412) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you http://tfl.nu/lizp
  Replies (7) Good night (2577) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was. http://tfl.nu/pkp0
  Replies (9) Good night (1972) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner. http://tfl.nu/89n9
  Replies (7) Good night (2881) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll. http://tfl.nu/pn3x
  Replies (19) Good night (2646) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary. http://tfl.nu/t36d
  Replies (3) Good night (2349) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun. http://tfl.nu/afxx
  Replies (5) Good night (2121) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night. http://tfl.nu/b0w0
  Replies (4) Good night (2315) Bad night (1093) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere. http://tfl.nu/yzs5
  Replies (2) Good night (2204) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night. http://tfl.nu/uygn
  Replies (6) Good night (3516) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life... http://tfl.nu/cy2e
  Replies (5) Good night (1018) Bad night (2771) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked http://tfl.nu/3gae
  Replies (12) Good night (3022) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out. http://tfl.nu/wupp
  Replies (8) Good night (2253) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight. http://tfl.nu/a28b
  Replies (9) Good night (2882) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series http://tfl.nu/c4pq
  Replies (13) Good night (3043) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Are we going out tonight?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My conscience says no but my vag says yes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Are we going out tonight? (414): My conscience says no but my vag says yes http://tfl.nu/5n9j
  Replies (7) Good night (2823) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY http://tfl.nu/9dad
  Replies (3) Good night (2472) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait. http://tfl.nu/lp7a
  Replies (6) Good night (2521) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight? http://tfl.nu/jndw
  Replies (1) Good night (2080) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children http://tfl.nu/5h1t
  Replies (8) Good night (1743) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard. http://tfl.nu/kg7h
  Replies (7) Good night (757) Bad night (2121) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  your completely serious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby (617): your completely serious http://tfl.nu/nhex
  Replies (9) Good night (2259) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick. http://tfl.nu/18bv
  Replies (11) Good night (1746) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake http://tfl.nu/sp6n
  Replies (9) Good night (2689) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate. http://tfl.nu/vwb7
  Replies (9) Good night (5369) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome http://tfl.nu/b710
  Replies (10) Good night (1882) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+35): View more from

  Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+35): Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck? http://tfl.nu/h4m7
  Replies (5) Good night (2199) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b. http://tfl.nu/ahce
  Replies (17) Good night (3980) Bad night (1617) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda. http://tfl.nu/08yd
  Replies (2) Good night (1803) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed? http://tfl.nu/137p
  Replies (8) Good night (1758) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home. http://tfl.nu/pssh
  Replies (35) Good night (2252) Bad night (1247) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner. http://tfl.nu/1na9
  Replies (8) Good night (2075) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage. http://tfl.nu/zk4v
  Replies (9) Good night (955) Bad night (2438) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth. http://tfl.nu/4ea8
  Replies (5) Good night (1917) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar http://tfl.nu/3k40
  Replies (17) Good night (1343) Bad night (2527) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job. http://tfl.nu/5ogs
  Replies (11) Good night (3951) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift. http://tfl.nu/yqhq
  Replies (8) Good night (2265) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Come over. Drunk tacos.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  That isn't even a sentence.

  (214): View more from Texas

  I kept the important parts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Come over. Drunk tacos. (1-214): That isn't even a sentence. (214): I kept the important parts. http://tfl.nu/2pq0
  Replies (8) Good night (4599) Bad night (665)