Texts From Last Night · dearlyxdemented's Favorites

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dearlyxdemented's Favorites Texts:

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(423): View more from Tennessee

can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today

Fav 3 1211 764
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.

Fav 0 1484 685
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.

Fav 6 1663 686
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(563): View more from Iowa

Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session

Fav 2 844 1163
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.

Fav 8 2103 1321
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(325): View more from Texas

I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?

Fav 3 887 1268
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.

Fav 4 2422 1232
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~

Fav 5 2561 885
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