Texts From Last Night

kickasssquirrel's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now. http://tfl.nu/4hn1
  Replies (33) Good night (12554) Bad night (1309)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey. http://tfl.nu/pfjh
  Replies (19) Good night (6508) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college. http://tfl.nu/9ey3
  Replies (9) Good night (3949) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people. http://tfl.nu/vbtd
  Replies (13) Good night (6781) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found... http://tfl.nu/titb
  Replies (16) Good night (9638) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend. http://tfl.nu/x4zz
  Replies (14) Good night (6328) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat http://tfl.nu/ctv0
  Replies (17) Good night (1187) Bad night (4833) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus

  (1-409): View more from Texas

  How are you texting me from 1998?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus (1-409): How are you texting me from 1998? http://tfl.nu/t1vq
  Replies (27) Good night (8469) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever. http://tfl.nu/dui8
  Replies (12) Good night (3887) Bad night (1123) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same http://tfl.nu/kiu0
  Replies (19) Good night (5935) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom http://tfl.nu/itfy
  Replies (48) Good night (22069) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class http://tfl.nu/grnd
  Replies (20) Good night (6348) Bad night (687) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious http://tfl.nu/xtk1
  Replies (47) Good night (2607) Bad night (11092)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green. http://tfl.nu/6tsm
  Replies (25) Good night (6493) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  i can respect that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you. (1-404): i can respect that. http://tfl.nu/fvjd
  Replies (14) Good night (4805) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  People still let you watch their kids?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer. (1-970): People still let you watch their kids? http://tfl.nu/8t1p
  Replies (18) Good night (5954) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it. http://tfl.nu/l5ke
  Replies (29) Good night (8835) Bad night (1784) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Intervention is following me on twitter.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  wow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Intervention is following me on twitter. (440): wow. http://tfl.nu/4vti
  Replies (14) Good night (5129) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer. http://tfl.nu/2zy4
  Replies (60) Good night (10121) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!" http://tfl.nu/rb09
  Replies (23) Good night (11379) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion. http://tfl.nu/ntse
  Replies (28) Good night (10846) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever. http://tfl.nu/jcyn
  Replies (31) Good night (7415) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0. http://tfl.nu/gdax
  Replies (35) Good night (6037) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.." http://tfl.nu/yyzh
  Replies (124) Good night (40846) Bad night (2618)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  whatd she say to you?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table (1-256): whatd she say to you? (256): no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle http://tfl.nu/mg7u
  Replies (60) Good night (1865) Bad night (8175)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.

  (1-909): View more from California

  I worship thee.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed. (1-909): I worship thee. http://tfl.nu/jd00
  Replies (54) Good night (8092) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one. http://tfl.nu/7onj
  Replies (36) Good night (7772) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever. http://tfl.nu/mdyd
  Replies (16) Good night (6382) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am. http://tfl.nu/8xi2
  Replies (15) Good night (8751) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/7fga
  Replies (18) Good night (7594) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad. http://tfl.nu/8fn1
  Replies (68) Good night (11806) Bad night (2713)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does http://tfl.nu/o8tg
  Replies (21) Good night (705) Bad night (5451) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner. http://tfl.nu/1bdt
  Replies (20) Good night (680) Bad night (6290) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one. http://tfl.nu/ogtf
  Replies (77) Good night (7073) Bad night (1563)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise. http://tfl.nu/s84e
  Replies (7) Good night (6575) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker. http://tfl.nu/rqvi
  Replies (8) Good night (4975) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste... http://tfl.nu/n6mj
  Replies (12) Good night (3555) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n

  (559): View more from California

  sry, psychiatrist trumps professor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n (559): sry, psychiatrist trumps professor http://tfl.nu/qnkf
  Replies (43) Good night (6520) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  he had to chose between the booze and condoms

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  what did he choose?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): he had to chose between the booze and condoms (774): what did he choose? (857): the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right? http://tfl.nu/iz27
  Replies (18) Good night (1155) Bad night (5248)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped http://tfl.nu/cz84
  Replies (23) Good night (6784) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all. http://tfl.nu/filb
  Replies (21) Good night (5347) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/7jhm
  Replies (10) Good night (4665) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today. http://tfl.nu/ix6a
  Replies (44) Good night (6890) Bad night (1178) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me. http://tfl.nu/m7oc
  Replies (14) Good night (4857) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/vt43
  Replies (16) Good night (4446) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies. http://tfl.nu/eijo
  Replies (20) Good night (7838) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer. http://tfl.nu/5zs6
  Replies (44) Good night (4349) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  safety first

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle (612): safety first http://tfl.nu/lbuo
  Replies (32) Good night (5318) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER. (610): When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!" http://tfl.nu/bnpd
  Replies (40) Good night (6023) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide

  (231): View more from Michigan

  please tell me this is not legit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide (231): please tell me this is not legit http://tfl.nu/bait
  Replies (33) Good night (5561) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer http://tfl.nu/h8i3
  Replies (6) Good night (4165) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  You better have your party panties on Saturday!

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  Why only Saturday?

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): You better have your party panties on Saturday! (1-205): Why only Saturday? (205): Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri. http://tfl.nu/ifn7
  Replies (26) Good night (4064) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You're such a slut.

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I prefer opportunist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): You're such a slut. (318): I prefer opportunist. http://tfl.nu/49c1
  Replies (27) Good night (6412) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time. http://tfl.nu/0k6p
  Replies (12) Good night (3610) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just stepped in cum. i hate you.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Thats what happens when you don't swallow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): i just stepped in cum. i hate you. (603): Thats what happens when you don't swallow. http://tfl.nu/7phl
  Replies (86) Good night (9338) Bad night (2691)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible". http://tfl.nu/e3k3
  Replies (43) Good night (7523) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high? http://tfl.nu/47rp
  Replies (18) Good night (4865) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish? http://tfl.nu/2ysn
  Replies (26) Good night (3844) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right http://tfl.nu/yhhf
  Replies (38) Good night (4872) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking in an igloo changes everything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Drinking in an igloo changes everything. http://tfl.nu/71hs
  Replies (37) Good night (6507) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs. http://tfl.nu/sygp
  Replies (34) Good night (5547) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with. (720): And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids. http://tfl.nu/a779
  Replies (16) Good night (976) Bad night (4190)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism http://tfl.nu/kj7t
  Replies (28) Good night (4334) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship. http://tfl.nu/tdmr
  Replies (37) Good night (7508) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd give my left nut to see you

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  don't do that. I like the set

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I'd give my left nut to see you (609): don't do that. I like the set http://tfl.nu/41nb
  Replies (12) Good night (9633) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night http://tfl.nu/ddwb
  Replies (30) Good night (4597) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  honey you're def caucasian

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann (803): honey you're def caucasian (704): i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z http://tfl.nu/jt3t
  Replies (4) Good night (1401) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh. He liked you.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Oh. He liked you. (970): Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado." http://tfl.nu/je5x
  Replies (22) Good night (1126) Bad night (3259)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you http://tfl.nu/qry0
  Replies (8) Good night (3560) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian. http://tfl.nu/ky2c
  Replies (51) Good night (3490) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston. http://tfl.nu/p3k5
  Replies (56) Good night (3772) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy

  (1-619): View more from California

  sounds legit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy (1-619): sounds legit http://tfl.nu/fo9p
  Replies (27) Good night (4113) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are. http://tfl.nu/ve28
  Replies (34) Good night (5286) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building. http://tfl.nu/yoz8
  Replies (44) Good night (5945) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high. http://tfl.nu/x6pp
  Replies (16) Good night (6607) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian. http://tfl.nu/n8zg
  Replies (32) Good night (7386) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted. http://tfl.nu/87dj
  Replies (84) Good night (7859) Bad night (1321) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles http://tfl.nu/ya5r
  Replies (46) Good night (17390) Bad night (1445) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test http://tfl.nu/616n
  Replies (130) Good night (20269) Bad night (2106) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity http://tfl.nu/qinl
  Replies (67) Good night (11727) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life. http://tfl.nu/paqh
  Replies (71) Good night (25738) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack.. http://tfl.nu/nf69
  Replies (61) Good night (17481) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him. http://tfl.nu/b6v7
  Replies (49) Good night (8742) Bad night (848) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity http://tfl.nu/4zrt
  Replies (44) Good night (15224) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/co7z
  Replies (31) Good night (6766) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch. http://tfl.nu/o7me
  Replies (19) Good night (6798) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker http://tfl.nu/8x3j
  Replies (24) Good night (6007) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her. http://tfl.nu/5b2d
  Replies (18) Good night (7191) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list.. http://tfl.nu/3i91
  Replies (11) Good night (4389) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high. http://tfl.nu/s4fq
  Replies (33) Good night (6186) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation? http://tfl.nu/6nb1
  Replies (16) Good night (6997) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain. http://tfl.nu/vwtj
  Replies (51) Good night (25354) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some... http://tfl.nu/wqbb
  Replies (18) Good night (5211) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door. http://tfl.nu/090e
  Replies (29) Good night (2068) Bad night (6869) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event. http://tfl.nu/eg4k
  Replies (22) Good night (8610) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo http://tfl.nu/4j6u
  Replies (22) Good night (8047) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life http://tfl.nu/64wx
  Replies (28) Good night (7608) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  and i looked up. we had an audience...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): and i looked up. we had an audience... http://tfl.nu/amn4
  Replies (16) Good night (4279) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done. http://tfl.nu/np50
  Replies (11) Good night (5243) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Lol welcome to greek life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now. (1-727): Lol welcome to greek life http://tfl.nu/i7uo
  Replies (43) Good night (768) Bad night (4083)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY! http://tfl.nu/jz8m
  Replies (21) Good night (739) Bad night (4021) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much http://tfl.nu/wzca
  Replies (14) Good night (1439) Bad night (2823) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control? http://tfl.nu/y9i1
  Replies (27) Good night (1486) Bad night (3559) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds. http://tfl.nu/tub0
  Replies (12) Good night (2955) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again. (1-508): Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years? (508): Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome http://tfl.nu/sfo6
  Replies (18) Good night (2358) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever. http://tfl.nu/rwuq
  Replies (38) Good night (7063) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him http://tfl.nu/vh2n
  Replies (66) Good night (2438) Bad night (4106) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew. http://tfl.nu/fdzr
  Replies (88) Good night (5358) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all http://tfl.nu/e59p
  Replies (26) Good night (4829) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best. http://tfl.nu/21y4
  Replies (14) Good night (2366) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  dont u have athletes foot?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings (1-214): dont u have athletes foot? http://tfl.nu/a028
  Replies (27) Good night (1070) Bad night (5553) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order. (1-614): I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale! http://tfl.nu/h6yb
  Replies (50) Good night (5132) Bad night (718)