$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Non-Jews are for practice
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
