k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
