Texts From Last Night

BrashNSassyZ's Favorites Texts:

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  (516): View more from New York

  Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

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  (516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven. http://tfl.nu/hg3t
  Replies (280) Good night (54096) Bad night (4435) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.

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  (505): It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm. http://tfl.nu/vdhu
  Replies (15) Good night (4657) Bad night (531)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.

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  (804): she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener. http://tfl.nu/h6je
  Replies (12) Good night (2000) Bad night (2581) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!

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  (510): EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT! http://tfl.nu/n28b
  Replies (22) Good night (1647) Bad night (5809)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant

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  (917): I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant http://tfl.nu/lnj1
  Replies (40) Good night (4840) Bad night (1457) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.

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  (864): I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you. http://tfl.nu/pv7t
  Replies (11) Good night (7312) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

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  (716): Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?! http://tfl.nu/vv8e
  Replies (26) Good night (12340) Bad night (1157) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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  (506): I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer? (902): the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka. http://tfl.nu/rxlv
  Replies (16) Good night (10263) Bad night (989)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we'll go far in life on tits alone.

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  (401): we'll go far in life on tits alone. http://tfl.nu/gwfe
  Replies (22) Good night (4890) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?

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  (678): How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart? http://tfl.nu/us70
  Replies (22) Good night (1292) Bad night (5597) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.

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  (303): Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield. http://tfl.nu/furb
  Replies (29) Good night (11335) Bad night (1106) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Reggie can tackle my bush.

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  (630): Reggie can tackle my bush. http://tfl.nu/9r8z
  Replies (32) Good night (4229) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.

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  (917): she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could. http://tfl.nu/cj4q
  Replies (74) Good night (3772) Bad night (17799) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son

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  (310): i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son http://tfl.nu/uvhv
  Replies (19) Good night (789) Bad night (4120) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party

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  (847): Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party http://tfl.nu/77aw
  Replies (15) Good night (6679) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.

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  (601): I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win. http://tfl.nu/cl0o
  Replies (67) Good night (6676) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"

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  (443): The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts" http://tfl.nu/th5a
  Replies (37) Good night (1442) Bad night (6788) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I sold my books for weed money!

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Finals don't start for a week...

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  (732): I sold my books for weed money! (302): Finals don't start for a week... http://tfl.nu/onx1
  Replies (19) Good night (4039) Bad night (2474)
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  (619): View more from California

  Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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  (619): Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. http://tfl.nu/4wgk
  Replies (45) Good night (28394) Bad night (1994) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party

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  (801): My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party http://tfl.nu/4dt1
  Replies (35) Good night (2556) Bad night (4074) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.

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  (206): i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate. http://tfl.nu/mwsu
  Replies (53) Good night (5851) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.

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  (609): he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w4ku
  Replies (17) Good night (619) Bad night (6591) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.

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  (860): Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god. http://tfl.nu/co52
  Replies (30) Good night (1271) Bad night (10086) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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  (210): By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE http://tfl.nu/98pz
  Replies (32) Good night (8998) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!

  (1-228): View more from Mississippi

  brownberry?

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  (228): Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!! (1-228): brownberry? http://tfl.nu/y1s8
  Replies (19) Good night (1242) Bad night (5862) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.

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  (720): You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive. http://tfl.nu/qvhh
  Replies (94) Good night (7837) Bad night (1532) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.

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  (801): i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away. http://tfl.nu/p1dq
  Replies (20) Good night (2846) Bad night (3820) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa

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  (954): I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa http://tfl.nu/4mlw
  Replies (79) Good night (13921) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.

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  (631): It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates. http://tfl.nu/ctme
  Replies (19) Good night (1250) Bad night (5084) Order T-Shirt
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  (353): View more from

  I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing

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  (353): I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing http://tfl.nu/a43r
  Replies (41) Good night (5510) Bad night (1710) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.

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  (215): winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am. http://tfl.nu/p45r
  Replies (26) Good night (4549) Bad night (2170) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.

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  (817): The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down. http://tfl.nu/fg57
  Replies (19) Good night (6920) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.

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  (209): I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car. http://tfl.nu/v5pu
  Replies (31) Good night (1175) Bad night (7591) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.

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  (985): At least my shower head will respect me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/vri5
  Replies (32) Good night (4732) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Princesses don't give blow jobs

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  (616): Princesses don't give blow jobs http://tfl.nu/euq0
  Replies (69) Good night (2241) Bad night (4993) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

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  (630): My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock. http://tfl.nu/njgo
  Replies (166) Good night (28070) Bad night (2553) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.

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  (443): I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network. http://tfl.nu/hbga
  Replies (27) Good night (4399) Bad night (2743) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.

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  (404): can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out. http://tfl.nu/5bm3
  Replies (65) Good night (1565) Bad night (3692) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12

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  (631): There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12 http://tfl.nu/d4y2
  Replies (27) Good night (5064) Bad night (1425) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I think my check liver light just came on

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  (906): Dude, I think my check liver light just came on http://tfl.nu/539i
  Replies (29) Good night (7726) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning

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  (315): My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning http://tfl.nu/4o81
  Replies (14) Good night (5966) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?

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  (541): you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....? http://tfl.nu/ofi7
  Replies (28) Good night (4648) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.

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  (515): Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas. http://tfl.nu/4rik
  Replies (59) Good night (2074) Bad night (6719) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"

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  (512): in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size" http://tfl.nu/ckqj
  Replies (35) Good night (1254) Bad night (7641) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college

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  (905): when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college http://tfl.nu/ke7d
  Replies (43) Good night (1228) Bad night (6192) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.

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  (304): Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/d61m
  Replies (18) Good night (5238) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.

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  (517): just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder. http://tfl.nu/xinc
  Replies (27) Good night (1310) Bad night (4732) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar

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  (818): I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar http://tfl.nu/o7a0
  Replies (13) Good night (3789) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i got excepted to unl lol

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You mean "accepted".

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  (402): i got excepted to unl lol (402): You mean "accepted". http://tfl.nu/3nr7
  Replies (76) Good night (1594) Bad night (5996)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.

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  (508): Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated. http://tfl.nu/vtpc
  Replies (40) Good night (1285) Bad night (3528) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake

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  (347): last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake http://tfl.nu/pvxf
  Replies (4) Good night (3169) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move

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  (703): i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move http://tfl.nu/msae
  Replies (33) Good night (7139) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.

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  (773): When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change. http://tfl.nu/eo5m
  Replies (67) Good night (544) Bad night (5754) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!

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  (402): I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em! http://tfl.nu/ru3y
  Replies (13) Good night (566) Bad night (5643) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.

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  (504): Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair. http://tfl.nu/39w1
  Replies (25) Good night (749) Bad night (6825) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me

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  (727): please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me http://tfl.nu/y5hr
  Replies (27) Good night (803) Bad night (5714) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch

  (1-631): View more from New York

  that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her

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  (631): After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch (1-631): that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her http://tfl.nu/x28l
  Replies (28) Good night (1092) Bad night (5946)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.

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  (204): The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume. http://tfl.nu/wyb3
  Replies (26) Good night (5578) Bad night (1438) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed

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  (585): im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed http://tfl.nu/eq1c
  Replies (89) Good night (9026) Bad night (1520) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.

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  (832): i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week. http://tfl.nu/mv1q
  Replies (64) Good night (931) Bad night (10715) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

  (1-949): View more from California

  are you seriously doing this over text message

  (949): View more from California

  hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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  (949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7
  Replies (353) Good night (7774) Bad night (48372)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011

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  (919): I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011 http://tfl.nu/zxkw
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  sarcasm needs its own font

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  (440): sarcasm needs its own font http://tfl.nu/5kc7
  Replies (55) Good night (8256) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?

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  (803): Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation? http://tfl.nu/0dba
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.

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  (773): It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out. http://tfl.nu/p4fr
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  (510): View more from California

  Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex

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  (510): Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex http://tfl.nu/01m8
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.

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  (815): It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve. http://tfl.nu/el01
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??

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  (812): Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days?? http://tfl.nu/olry
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.

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  (401): Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified. http://tfl.nu/2va0
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.

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  (250): Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap. http://tfl.nu/f3x1
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  (281): View more from Texas

  On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?

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  (281): On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do? http://tfl.nu/4exj
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.

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  (973): I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance. http://tfl.nu/0bj8
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again

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  (720): he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again http://tfl.nu/4hwy
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore

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  (702): I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore http://tfl.nu/l7gt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word

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  (971): this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word http://tfl.nu/bykc
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night

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  (201): i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night http://tfl.nu/v4yn
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...

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  (414): I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america... http://tfl.nu/w5je
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.

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  (612): I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement. http://tfl.nu/3cr8
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.

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  (301): I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy. http://tfl.nu/8tq8
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.

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  (814): Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader. http://tfl.nu/y8oj
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  (916): View more from California

  You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..

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  (916): You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you.. http://tfl.nu/8fyi
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  (512): View more from Texas

  after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.

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  (512): after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men. http://tfl.nu/7tn8
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"

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  (651): I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated" http://tfl.nu/zfhg
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  (661): View more from California

  i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me

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  (661): i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me http://tfl.nu/hrbu
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.

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  (319): he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me. http://tfl.nu/lhdj
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  (713): View more from Texas

  just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.

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  (713): just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american. http://tfl.nu/yild
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  (352): View more from Florida

  dude they were twins that means they were both only 17

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  (352): dude they were twins that means they were both only 17 http://tfl.nu/sodj
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.

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  (509): I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120. http://tfl.nu/oklb
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over

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  (706): You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over http://tfl.nu/x2t5
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  (210): View more from Texas

  She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.

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  (210): She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas. http://tfl.nu/4atb
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles

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  (276): Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles http://tfl.nu/8prl
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  (760): View more from California

  Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

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  (760): Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint. http://tfl.nu/71cw
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  (214): View more from Texas

  We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.

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  (214): We're like two naked peas in a sex pod. http://tfl.nu/sqen
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.

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  (847): She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing. http://tfl.nu/qwo3
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