this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
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HA! Beer: helping ugly people get laid since 1847.
im sure beer has been around longer
Nah, that's when sex was invented.
Way to stay off topic "diceman". The real Andrew Dice Clay will be over to kick your ass shortly.
I think my roommate does this to girls
Milk is a bad choice
gotta love portland guys hahaha!!!
yeaaaa classy man right there
I immediately thought of Against Me! as well. I love them.
This text is funny...in America.
Totally have this on a necklace
And there isn't something in this post about him leaving with his balls kicked up to his larynx why???
I love this guy hahahahah
the girl should accept that she prolly looks like ground beef, and should be glad she got some. dude didnt have to clown her, but still, ugly people know they're ugly, it's not new information to them.
that's just wrong on so many levels lol
No girl would actually send in a text that insulted herself like this. Its either fake, or the guy sent it in....which kind of makes him a dickwad on two levels, not just the one.
Oh I get it! It's funny because that is something very rude that you would say to someone who you did not hope to see again!
Wow....what a dick. He probably has a small one, too.
Get that plastic surgery!!!!
Pretty sure that's websters definition of a gentleman
Confidence booster waddup
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
To fetch her poor dog a bone
But when she bent over, ROVER TOOK OVER!
And gave her a bone of her own!
THIS IS HYSTERICAL!!
I have this shirt...got laid in it 6 out of the 7 times I've worn it
he said "this probably is the worst decision that I've ever made" she laughed and smiled, then said "i'm sure you do this all the time right right right RIGHT?"
we all know where it went from there. Gotta love Against Me! I'm sure that dude was a fan.
Oh wait, I fail. Didn't read it right
"You Look Like I Need A Drink" is also the name of a good song by Against Me.
"Wanna know how I got these scars?
I know it's just him being a douche, but this is actually apropos this time...
6:57 pm I love you.
5:35 pm If you're not a native English speaker, cool, but if you are, are you trying to be ironic or something?
This is mad funny :D
what a good fucking song...
That's really sad :( What a jerk.
Seems pretty harsh to me.
11:04 Nice job copying a fucking keychain.
Poor girl. Hopefuly the lay was alright.
Wooo 11:11 I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought of that. Against Me! FTW!!!!
One night stand "FAIL"!
i sometimes wonder why people put "good night" to these
well she did get laid
LMFAO...SO FUKIN HILARIOUS
i dont know who you hooked up with but he is awesome
If I had a nickle..
bahhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ah ha ha ooooh sucks to be her
Against Me! song was what I thought of. If a guy said that to me I'd be kinda happy he was probably an fan also. lol
What happens in 971?
11:11 : exactly my thoughts!
Definitely an against me! Song. Let the douche leave for trying to take credit for a good song.
Much funnier when I read it right
one of those "I'd rather chew my arm off than wake this person up" moments?
You are SOOO bummed!!
Or maybe he needs a drink... Lol
HA. That is some funny shit.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA thats f-n GREAT!!!!!
Sucks to suck
Hahahahahahahaha! If this actually happened that guy is legit!