Texts From Last Night

uncleblian's Favorites Texts:

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.

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  (401): it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher. http://tfl.nu/14gf
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night

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  (712): I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night http://tfl.nu/v3fw
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do

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  (802): I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do http://tfl.nu/o1hg
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

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  (937): [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight] http://tfl.nu/2cq7
  Replies (29) Good night (10880) Bad night (2110) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.

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  (732): there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts. http://tfl.nu/wlt6
  Replies (48) Good night (7170) Bad night (1697) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.

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  (913): just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home. http://tfl.nu/c9s9
  Replies (45) Good night (11374) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.

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  (609): This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/9axz
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes

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  (303): I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes http://tfl.nu/g6od
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I intend to get homeless drunk

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  (403): I intend to get homeless drunk http://tfl.nu/9yk9
  Replies (20) Good night (4721) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.

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  (306): No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes. http://tfl.nu/ocj3
  Replies (21) Good night (5253) Bad night (2909) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man

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  (405): Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man http://tfl.nu/vdn4
  Replies (9) Good night (4407) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs

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  (516): I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs http://tfl.nu/s3ms
  Replies (19) Good night (4677) Bad night (1033) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  areolas are like halos for boobs.

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  (650): areolas are like halos for boobs. http://tfl.nu/m02r
  Replies (41) Good night (4832) Bad night (882) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub

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  (978): For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub http://tfl.nu/5zqx
  Replies (5) Good night (4422) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.

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  (814): All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles. http://tfl.nu/duc8
  Replies (37) Good night (10184) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way

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  (317): and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way http://tfl.nu/pn6a
  Replies (20) Good night (9902) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.

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  (407): I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule. http://tfl.nu/aidv
  Replies (6) Good night (2350) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.

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  (760): so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig. http://tfl.nu/u35s
  Replies (12) Good night (1506) Bad night (4610) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.

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  (816): If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance. http://tfl.nu/qptg
  Replies (11) Good night (2839) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.

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  (616): This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle. http://tfl.nu/b46q
  Replies (52) Good night (1604) Bad night (9726) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.

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  (240): I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll. http://tfl.nu/r0xh
  Replies (18) Good night (670) Bad night (3368) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  It's like God shit irony all over that family

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  (703): It's like God shit irony all over that family http://tfl.nu/i9ev
  Replies (45) Good night (2301) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I haven't been this sober since birth.

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  (609): I haven't been this sober since birth. http://tfl.nu/qg8c
  Replies (15) Good night (973) Bad night (2493) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.

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  (402): What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho. http://tfl.nu/a5a8
  Replies (43) Good night (4900) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My liver just broke up with me...

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  (303): My liver just broke up with me... http://tfl.nu/2vsq
  Replies (2) Good night (751) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"

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  (704): she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out" http://tfl.nu/fktd
  Replies (33) Good night (12540) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people

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  (614): If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people http://tfl.nu/avir
  Replies (19) Good night (4110) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.

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  (517): my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab. http://tfl.nu/ejcr
  Replies (22) Good night (286) Bad night (4794) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.

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  (845): Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore. http://tfl.nu/7ot8
  Replies (24) Good night (5091) Bad night (1176) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  You drink too much

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  No, I drink just the right amount - too often.

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  (561): You drink too much (1-561): No, I drink just the right amount - too often. http://tfl.nu/1oor
  Replies (2) Good night (2577) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless

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  (812): Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless http://tfl.nu/jzwl
  Replies (105) Good night (11186) Bad night (1054)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck

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  (401): you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck http://tfl.nu/4wd4
  Replies (28) Good night (5460) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?

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  (218): The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it? http://tfl.nu/eoc0
  Replies (3) Good night (2498) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice

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  (210): she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice http://tfl.nu/lxs5
  Replies (13) Good night (498) Bad night (3273) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.

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  (864): Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common. http://tfl.nu/z1qj
  Replies (7) Good night (493) Bad night (3100) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night

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  (978): my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night http://tfl.nu/ky4c
  Replies (5) Good night (4136) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.

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  (313): I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money. http://tfl.nu/rs3f
  Replies (2) Good night (1157) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.

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  (519): I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat. http://tfl.nu/eo6a
  Replies (28) Good night (7468) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv

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  (410): i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv http://tfl.nu/8yma
  Replies (17) Good night (4069) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She acts like you when your on meds

  (510): View more from California

  She acts like batman?

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  (616): She acts like you when your on meds (510): She acts like batman? http://tfl.nu/zvs9
  Replies (16) Good night (5907) Bad night (411)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?

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  (973): Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night? http://tfl.nu/mwh9
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me

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  (570): i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me http://tfl.nu/vizy
  Replies (38) Good night (5770) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.

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  (469): I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep. http://tfl.nu/j5ig
  Replies (9) Good night (4920) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules

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  (917): I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules http://tfl.nu/muds
  Replies (2) Good night (1098) Bad night (262) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  They should make Jack Daniels chap stick

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  (512): They should make Jack Daniels chap stick http://tfl.nu/3f21
  Replies (31) Good night (5901) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

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  (503): I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team http://tfl.nu/ke7v
  Replies (42) Good night (5710) Bad night (702)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all

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  (214): A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all http://tfl.nu/e59p
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a beautiful day for a hangover

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  (215): It's a beautiful day for a hangover http://tfl.nu/x1e7
  Replies (32) Good night (4214) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  :)

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Wipe that smile off your face.

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  (410): :) (443): Wipe that smile off your face. http://tfl.nu/iqow
  Replies (27) Good night (5776) Bad night (490)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Call meee

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...

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  (603): Call meee (781): Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now... http://tfl.nu/j06g
  Replies (3) Good night (1327) Bad night (262)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It's worth it.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How worth it?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Back door worth it

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  (248): Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up? (312): It's worth it. (248): How worth it? (312): Back door worth it http://tfl.nu/ijuf
  Replies (4) Good night (3488) Bad night (744)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.

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  (908): So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning. http://tfl.nu/ff78
  Replies (31) Good night (2233) Bad night (5088) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.

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  (803): I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do. http://tfl.nu/xze3
  Replies (22) Good night (8528) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops

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  (907): the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops http://tfl.nu/07bg
  Replies (45) Good night (9908) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Her vagina smelled like bad decisions

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  (704): Her vagina smelled like bad decisions http://tfl.nu/m5j1
  Replies (33) Good night (652) Bad night (7541) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.

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  (971): He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex. http://tfl.nu/3zjj
  Replies (21) Good night (1556) Bad night (6188) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

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  (205): I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand... http://tfl.nu/3a2z
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the red head has a bf

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

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  (843): the red head has a bf (1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score http://tfl.nu/bdta
  Replies (117) Good night (43647) Bad night (2951) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  what if I'm pregnant?

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  smusmorshion

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  (908): what if I'm pregnant? (848): smusmorshion http://tfl.nu/vksj
  Replies (103) Good night (1568) Bad night (2659)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm home now. bring me food and boobies

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  (781): I'm home now. bring me food and boobies http://tfl.nu/wuzk
  Replies (3) Good night (2173) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.

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  (903): I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion. http://tfl.nu/pxq1
  Replies (15) Good night (409) Bad night (1672) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.

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  (774): It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God. http://tfl.nu/c3gg
  Replies (74) Good night (23239) Bad night (887) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.

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  (516): i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik. http://tfl.nu/oo49
  Replies (14) Good night (3970) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.

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  (575): I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte. http://tfl.nu/ceno
  Replies (24) Good night (3997) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables

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  (214): New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables http://tfl.nu/m9ex
  Replies (27) Good night (5888) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?

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  (540): Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them? http://tfl.nu/3pc1
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI

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  (480): You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI http://tfl.nu/lcvv
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place

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  (423) 2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place http://tfl.nu/hlr5
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus

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  (970): Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus http://tfl.nu/rl2v
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.

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  (336): Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid. http://tfl.nu/ga4m
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.

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  (484): its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed. http://tfl.nu/kf6i
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you

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  (310): I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you http://tfl.nu/5bao
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.

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  (404): A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show. http://tfl.nu/h6zp
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She went from zero to smokin in five shots

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  (303): She went from zero to smokin in five shots http://tfl.nu/1faz
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  one word: firstdatebathroomanal

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  (404): one word: firstdatebathroomanal http://tfl.nu/h4q1
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  (631): View more from New York

  Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.

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  (631): Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life. http://tfl.nu/pg4a
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  (858): View more from California

  Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.

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  (858): Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star. http://tfl.nu/4wpn
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.

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  (919): Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee. http://tfl.nu/oz8w
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.

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  (204): I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom. http://tfl.nu/0i9y
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Anal.

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  (615): I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people. (1-615): Anal. http://tfl.nu/eagl
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships

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  (201): it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships http://tfl.nu/cs10
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.

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  (814): First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half. http://tfl.nu/df8e
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

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  (303): Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England http://tfl.nu/wgnu
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli

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  (313): her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli http://tfl.nu/6z4f
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar

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  (979): I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar http://tfl.nu/uc7h
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  (805): View more from California

  I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.

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  (805): I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals. http://tfl.nu/6f3c
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You smell like stripper and shame

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  (704): You smell like stripper and shame http://tfl.nu/7pqp
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone

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  (832): moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone http://tfl.nu/qe9x
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog

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  (732): Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog http://tfl.nu/ui9n
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem

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  (484): I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem http://tfl.nu/p4jh
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you definitely held a convo with a hobo

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we have a secret handshake

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  (610): you definitely held a convo with a hobo (1-610): we have a secret handshake http://tfl.nu/i4o5
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  (310): View more from California

  if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right

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  (310): if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right http://tfl.nu/zv74
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Its only 8 and she is already passed out

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2

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  (702): Its only 8 and she is already passed out (1-702): Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2 http://tfl.nu/cu8c
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she

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  (301): she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying (203): but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she http://tfl.nu/l9o1
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.

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  (407): Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis. http://tfl.nu/knfk
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!

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  (502): WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?! http://tfl.nu/ajcv
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.

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  (352): I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about. http://tfl.nu/yxic
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  (925): View more from California

  I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(

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  (925): I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :( http://tfl.nu/pd8d
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  (818): View more from California

  my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you

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  (818): my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you http://tfl.nu/x2i9
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