Texts From Last Night

samgirl's Favorites Texts:

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  (352): View more from Florida

  we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

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  (352): we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark. http://tfl.nu/009s
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  (718): View more from New York

  you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.

  (917): View more from New York City

  i told you we never speak of that again

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  (718): you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something. (917): i told you we never speak of that again http://tfl.nu/ijex
  Replies (14) Good night (1023) Bad night (4235)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  and what did he say?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.

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  (614): yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world. (1-614): and what did he say? (614): there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning. http://tfl.nu/xi47
  Replies (50) Good night (12719) Bad night (1030)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking

  (404): View more from Georgia

  how did that work out?

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...

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  (478): So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking (404): how did that work out? (478): Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder... http://tfl.nu/o1yp
  Replies (15) Good night (5161) Bad night (1477)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.

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  (601): I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished. http://tfl.nu/ezge
  Replies (33) Good night (5349) Bad night (2225) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea

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  (732): the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea http://tfl.nu/kd80
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome

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  (208): When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome http://tfl.nu/r1ky
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  (818): View more from California

  remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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  (818): remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it, (702): Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch. http://tfl.nu/x8zx
  Replies (116) Good night (6312) Bad night (11941)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...

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  (757): I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want... http://tfl.nu/xmvr
  Replies (35) Good night (7392) Bad night (1337) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.

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  (919): My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet. http://tfl.nu/ix9e
  Replies (67) Good night (17911) Bad night (1265) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days

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  (360): I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days http://tfl.nu/ngst
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  (626): View more from California

  she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo

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  (626): she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo http://tfl.nu/loae
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"

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  (302): he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks" http://tfl.nu/zxub
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.

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  (913): his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/i0an
  Replies (21) Good night (916) Bad night (7874) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

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  (505): I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot http://tfl.nu/gw1u
  Replies (378) Good night (1926) Bad night (53585) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

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  (480): I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together http://tfl.nu/zzdp
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding

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  (770): The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding http://tfl.nu/pa6f
  Replies (21) Good night (6880) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.

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  (850): I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized. http://tfl.nu/cbfh
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

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  (937): [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight] http://tfl.nu/2cq7
  Replies (29) Good night (11294) Bad night (2367) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.

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  (615): I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us. http://tfl.nu/3t30
  Replies (24) Good night (7468) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine

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  (914): 2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine http://tfl.nu/wmh7
  Replies (46) Good night (4694) Bad night (2685) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

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  (440): Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried http://tfl.nu/9dr3
  Replies (51) Good night (15129) Bad night (3709) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.

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  (801): please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist. http://tfl.nu/t4io
  Replies (26) Good night (8857) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.

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  (606): he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman. http://tfl.nu/lhzg
  Replies (25) Good night (4913) Bad night (1589) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds

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  (630): We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds http://tfl.nu/p9wa
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  (707): View more from California

  I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"

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  (707): I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!" http://tfl.nu/i1ig
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.

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  (304): He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight. http://tfl.nu/5vdu
  Replies (59) Good night (14861) Bad night (1930) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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  (602): I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again. http://tfl.nu/a40p
  Replies (35) Good night (9632) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".

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  (845): She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex". http://tfl.nu/cd1v
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  (805): View more from California

  the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.

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  (805): the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do. http://tfl.nu/fu0w
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  (516): View more from New York

  she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen

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  (516): she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen http://tfl.nu/pvgu
  Replies (34) Good night (1276) Bad night (8533) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.

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  (540): Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex. http://tfl.nu/iyvz
  Replies (17) Good night (9124) Bad night (1158) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him

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  (347): in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him http://tfl.nu/pxgw
  Replies (134) Good night (43796) Bad night (1657) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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  (802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made. http://tfl.nu/87yq
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

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  (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s
  Replies (188) Good night (56848) Bad night (4690)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would do horrible things to your vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Prove it.

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  (617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3
  Replies (182) Good night (93477) Bad night (4595)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

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  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
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  (661): View more from California

  His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger

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  (661): His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger http://tfl.nu/nen0
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened

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  (703): Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened http://tfl.nu/8g9n
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.

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  (908): My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv. http://tfl.nu/oqts
  Replies (61) Good night (10565) Bad night (1632) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.

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  (818): His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face. http://tfl.nu/bthr
  Replies (42) Good night (3595) Bad night (8918) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Whoa, Gary Coleman died

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Whatchu talkin bout?!?!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Too soon.

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  (847): Whoa, Gary Coleman died (224): Whatchu talkin bout?!?! (847): Too soon. http://tfl.nu/36gw
  Replies (49) Good night (6942) Bad night (1622)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.

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  (404): I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck. http://tfl.nu/f2m7
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  (408): View more from California

  They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.

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  (408): They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald. http://tfl.nu/krtp
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"

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  (641): and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger" http://tfl.nu/o631
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.

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  (708): She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin. http://tfl.nu/wbej
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...

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  (248): You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened... http://tfl.nu/unry
  Replies (66) Good night (25126) Bad night (2649) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.

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  (925): I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands. http://tfl.nu/9x0j
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  (530): View more from California

  my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...

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  (530): my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad... http://tfl.nu/yh1f
  Replies (52) Good night (2219) Bad night (9969)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

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  (701): She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex. http://tfl.nu/crgk
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.

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  (303): It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac. http://tfl.nu/tpbw
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  (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

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  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
  Replies (131) Good night (8268) Bad night (23698)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

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  (571): So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder. http://tfl.nu/3ets
  Replies (275) Good night (4054) Bad night (68267)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

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  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
  Replies (206) Good night (51700) Bad night (2735) Order T-Shirt
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

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  (857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable. http://tfl.nu/zho9
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

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  (847): so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration". http://tfl.nu/m5rh
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

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  (717): hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands http://tfl.nu/c6ww
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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  (404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". http://tfl.nu/tf5y
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

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  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  How was it?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fantastic, but that's not the point.

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  (847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/muuk
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out

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  (217): you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out http://tfl.nu/t2x9
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  (360): View more from Washington

  he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them

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  (360): he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them http://tfl.nu/8aam
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.

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  (440): Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana. http://tfl.nu/g8b3
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.

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  (208): She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible. http://tfl.nu/a9zl
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.

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  (608): Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her. http://tfl.nu/6qpw
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

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  (303): I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight http://tfl.nu/nfvu
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  (559): View more from California

  I queefed so loud it echoed.

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  (559): I queefed so loud it echoed. http://tfl.nu/ujmt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like

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  (207): i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like http://tfl.nu/ol8k
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  u sound so gay right now

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  (617): I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me. (978): u sound so gay right now http://tfl.nu/zm49
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her

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  (219): i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her http://tfl.nu/s6o1
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  (716): View more from New York

  She's like a pop up book from hell.

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  (716): She's like a pop up book from hell. http://tfl.nu/grf5
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Dont! You were just serving you country

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  (770): So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now... (404): Dont! You were just serving you country http://tfl.nu/lcsl
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  (518): View more from New York

  She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.

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  (518): She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change. http://tfl.nu/rlg4
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.

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  (630): Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best. http://tfl.nu/ljti
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.

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  (732): I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/ou94
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  (631): View more from New York

  He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...

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  (631): He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now... http://tfl.nu/8b9i
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.

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  (763): It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo. http://tfl.nu/heh2
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  What happened?....

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....

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  (304): What happened?.... (304): He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm.... http://tfl.nu/j714
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.

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  (219): Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night. http://tfl.nu/jfm9
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  (530): View more from California

  I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite

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  (530): I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite http://tfl.nu/1k7e
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.

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  (419): we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it. http://tfl.nu/duoc
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?

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  (203): We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad? http://tfl.nu/ilwk
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  (518): View more from New York

  I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth

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  (518): I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth http://tfl.nu/kl4h
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.

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  (256): Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay. http://tfl.nu/5ucl
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.

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  (240): I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good. http://tfl.nu/bq51
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.

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  (786): I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction. http://tfl.nu/2rxz
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.

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  (801): He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face. http://tfl.nu/vz1o
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