Texts From Last Night

nvagboi's Favorites Texts:

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level

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  (740): Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level http://tfl.nu/3z9c
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?

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  (303): do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie? http://tfl.nu/kg1j
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect

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  (814): Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect http://tfl.nu/4whi
  Replies (4) Good night (5242) Bad night (770)
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  (212): View more from New York

  There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.

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  (212): There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'. http://tfl.nu/wlcp
  Replies (21) Good night (1310) Bad night (2522) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth

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  (203): I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth http://tfl.nu/68yw
  Replies (38) Good night (5257) Bad night (1430) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys

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  (318): You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys http://tfl.nu/kc5i
  Replies (7) Good night (2327) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian

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  (917): How do you have time to get laid so much in law school? (1-917): I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian http://tfl.nu/71w8
  Replies (14) Good night (4189) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever

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  (901): we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever http://tfl.nu/yt63
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  (916): View more from California

  Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.

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  (916): Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus. http://tfl.nu/w1gl
  Replies (17) Good night (924) Bad night (5147) Order T-Shirt
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  (754): View more from Florida

  I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.

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  (754): I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris. http://tfl.nu/pib9
  Replies (8) Good night (4715) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father

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  (917): hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father http://tfl.nu/ngdo
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper

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  (203): his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper http://tfl.nu/7n4i
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  (917): View more from New York City

  found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him

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  (917): found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him http://tfl.nu/3fbj
  Replies (21) Good night (1298) Bad night (8728) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.

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  (770): i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises. http://tfl.nu/q0zn
  Replies (52) Good night (6534) Bad night (1597) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.

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  (484): New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes. http://tfl.nu/xws1
  Replies (47) Good night (4649) Bad night (1493) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A

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  (603): i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A http://tfl.nu/1ey6
  Replies (28) Good night (1082) Bad night (5246) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?

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  (775): Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy? http://tfl.nu/1eeo
  Replies (33) Good night (4744) Bad night (2117) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

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  (423): If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom http://tfl.nu/66s8
  Replies (32) Good night (1558) Bad night (4682) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.

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  (614): i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious. http://tfl.nu/avof
  Replies (14) Good night (904) Bad night (7157) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.

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  (858): I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way. http://tfl.nu/w85x
  Replies (26) Good night (14731) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.

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  (440): We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls. http://tfl.nu/q9cr
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...

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  (612): new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself... http://tfl.nu/71kr
  Replies (35) Good night (1544) Bad night (6504) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.

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  (313): so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT. http://tfl.nu/lt7f
  Replies (27) Good night (1031) Bad night (6066)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.

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  (770): just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes. http://tfl.nu/9iko
  Replies (118) Good night (26939) Bad night (4311) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?

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  (203): walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something? http://tfl.nu/j190
  Replies (27) Good night (7740) Bad night (1208)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.

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  (314): There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign. http://tfl.nu/jmkr
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.

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  (602): Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue. http://tfl.nu/w4nd
  Replies (12) Good night (5717) Bad night (835)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.

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  (908): fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off. http://tfl.nu/8rwr
  Replies (40) Good night (884) Bad night (5738) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."

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  (401): We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this." http://tfl.nu/1p18
  Replies (15) Good night (3925) Bad night (4761) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.

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  (614): I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon. http://tfl.nu/njuz
  Replies (34) Good night (2333) Bad night (5528) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.

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  (510): He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again. http://tfl.nu/1fxb
  Replies (27) Good night (1137) Bad night (7509) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.

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  (815): i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision. http://tfl.nu/h6vg
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.

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  (703): Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience. http://tfl.nu/jxin
  Replies (73) Good night (4260) Bad night (6340)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

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  (604): She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/ilmx
  Replies (111) Good night (50737) Bad night (1681) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?

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  (813): So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell? http://tfl.nu/9wrt
  Replies (37) Good night (6359) Bad night (1723)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown

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  (973): well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown http://tfl.nu/5h35
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?

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  (814): 1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame? http://tfl.nu/zg21
  Replies (23) Good night (7466) Bad night (994)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.

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  (229): He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records. http://tfl.nu/dlha
  Replies (41) Good night (8889) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.

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  (512): I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order. http://tfl.nu/zk7q
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  (239): View more from Florida

  just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one

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  (239): just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one http://tfl.nu/sg9e
  Replies (18) Good night (7433) Bad night (1395) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"

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  (985): He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it" http://tfl.nu/q1ud
  Replies (49) Good night (2109) Bad night (9209) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?

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  (617): I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks? http://tfl.nu/26q7
  Replies (55) Good night (2030) Bad night (6463) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Previous statement retracted.

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  (864): If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay. (828): Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner (864): Previous statement retracted. http://tfl.nu/e7pe
  Replies (46) Good night (13173) Bad night (1137)
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  (559): View more from California

  So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

  (1-559): View more from California

  That depends on who this is.

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  (559): So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true? (1-559): That depends on who this is. http://tfl.nu/a6jm
  Replies (42) Good night (14394) Bad night (1873) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.

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  (732): im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad. http://tfl.nu/jkuj
  Replies (9) Good night (689) Bad night (3747) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?

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  (971): the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together? http://tfl.nu/xjvt
  Replies (38) Good night (5760) Bad night (1562)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.

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  (920): You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now. http://tfl.nu/yhp5
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.

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  (651): how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts. http://tfl.nu/ixjv
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  (425): View more from Washington

  the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.

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  (425): the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem. http://tfl.nu/jjmu
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.

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  (502): I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis. http://tfl.nu/zjdj
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.

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  (479): Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody. http://tfl.nu/gh8f
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination

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  (973): hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination http://tfl.nu/nh5d
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.

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  (651): Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love. http://tfl.nu/7dfa
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.

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  (864): I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me. http://tfl.nu/y5s2
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  (530): View more from California

  i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something

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  (530): i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something http://tfl.nu/obfg
  Replies (29) Good night (849) Bad night (5931) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys

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  (603): wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys http://tfl.nu/ak8d
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  (904): View more from Florida

  taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport

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  (904): taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport http://tfl.nu/zg9o
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  (310): View more from California

  Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho

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  (310): Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho http://tfl.nu/chvf
  Replies (56) Good night (2023) Bad night (14778) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

  (949): View more from California

  I gave it to your brother to give to you.

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  (714): I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it? (949): I gave it to your brother to give to you. http://tfl.nu/fwxt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.

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  (231): Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward. http://tfl.nu/juz7
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  (631): View more from New York

  I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?

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  (631): I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful? http://tfl.nu/fnv5
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"

  (1-312): View more from Illinois

  go get him tiger.

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  (312): just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun" (1-312): go get him tiger. http://tfl.nu/5kmx
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Why?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward

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  (480): Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight (1-480): Why? (480): 'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward http://tfl.nu/ohlj
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.

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  (423): so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win. http://tfl.nu/dvpb
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  (212): View more from New York

  ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  this is Aaron, hi

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  (212): ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud? (1-212): this is Aaron, hi http://tfl.nu/ackd
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.

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  (773): I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant. (847): Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you. http://tfl.nu/48mv
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"

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  (586): i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?" http://tfl.nu/o8h0
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky

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  (604): People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky http://tfl.nu/clbn
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  I like it rough

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  (402): You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right? (1-402): I like it rough http://tfl.nu/uqsl
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.

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  (202): Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death. http://tfl.nu/mvsk
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.

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  (860): So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever. http://tfl.nu/64bh
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...

  (775): View more from Nevada

  yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.

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  (702): It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me... (775): yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift. http://tfl.nu/mwdt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  USA! USA! USA!

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  (262): i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic (414): USA! USA! USA! http://tfl.nu/meud
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.

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  (952): He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job. (320): Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud. http://tfl.nu/wke9
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.

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  (410): So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer. http://tfl.nu/24xs
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.

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  (203): We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom. http://tfl.nu/yf2o
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Tell me the dirtiest joke you know

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  Sarah Palin

  (907): View more from Alaska

  god, I love you

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  (907): Tell me the dirtiest joke you know (1-907): Sarah Palin (907): god, I love you http://tfl.nu/fmd4
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES

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  (267): just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES http://tfl.nu/axvy
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Dude she let me cum on her face

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning

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  (843): Dude she let me cum on her face (1-843): You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning http://tfl.nu/f5g3
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  (716): View more from New York

  My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics

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  (716): My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics http://tfl.nu/wc24
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?

  (804): View more from Virginia

  who says it cant be both...

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  (757): im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever? (804): who says it cant be both... http://tfl.nu/wstu
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back

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  (+44): I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back http://tfl.nu/kyt1
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car

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  (803): just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car http://tfl.nu/l192
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you

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  (251): you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you http://tfl.nu/7a0u
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend

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  (267): Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend http://tfl.nu/as99
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.

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  (215): me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk. http://tfl.nu/afjb
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  (607): View more from New York

  you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY

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  (607): you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY http://tfl.nu/h6do
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them

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  (239): I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them http://tfl.nu/55o4
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  (607): View more from New York

  haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

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  (607): haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook. http://tfl.nu/7oed
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to

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  (720): What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to http://tfl.nu/xbm0
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  (310): View more from California

  so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?

  (818): View more from California

  by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ

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  (310): so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA? (818): by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ http://tfl.nu/5i2r
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