Texts From Last Night · wolfewood1's Favorites

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wolfewood1's Favorites Texts:

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(410): View more from Maryland

I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.

Fav 1 988 568
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(+61): View more from Australia

i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs

Fav 2 900 555
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(469): View more from Texas

That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.

Fav 2 838 518
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(319): View more from Iowa

Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?

Fav 10 3555 1061
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(541): View more from Oregon

Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I want to be you.

Fav 14 1911 1480
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(682): View more from Texas

I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face

Fav 16 5922 1556
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(406): View more from Montana

I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?

Fav 9 2381 1042
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(757): View more from Virginia

Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight

Fav 25 1939 6109
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