Texts From Last Night

youngdivorcee's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle. http://tfl.nu/tr9x
  Replies (37) Good night (2954) Bad night (6494) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property. http://tfl.nu/vsw9
  Replies (25) Good night (1876) Bad night (5348) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!

  (404): View more from Georgia

  you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!! (404): you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship. http://tfl.nu/9p9t
  Replies (34) Good night (6166) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants. (401): Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean. http://tfl.nu/96j7
  Replies (29) Good night (5779) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/mefj
  Replies (38) Good night (7207) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown. http://tfl.nu/l3ul
  Replies (49) Good night (2037) Bad night (5014) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  so you admit it was good then??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600. (1-337): so you admit it was good then?? http://tfl.nu/xl9i
  Replies (26) Good night (8216) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement. http://tfl.nu/rfma
  Replies (25) Good night (9126) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband? http://tfl.nu/o4li
  Replies (176) Good night (1439) Bad night (13994) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go http://tfl.nu/d1mz
  Replies (15) Good night (4886) Bad night (959) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love. http://tfl.nu/r7jm
  Replies (19) Good night (5694) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God." http://tfl.nu/1oy5
  Replies (20) Good night (9669) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days http://tfl.nu/5mt6
  Replies (10) Good night (4510) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Am i fat?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Well i wouldnt let you on top

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Am i fat? (1-248): Well i wouldnt let you on top http://tfl.nu/1yk2
  Replies (36) Good night (1362) Bad night (8913) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other. http://tfl.nu/vc7e
  Replies (24) Good night (4801) Bad night (1989)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life. http://tfl.nu/aawj
  Replies (15) Good night (1312) Bad night (4866) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): All I need in life is some dick and a big mac. http://tfl.nu/2v25
  Replies (65) Good night (6111) Bad night (1103) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours. http://tfl.nu/vgfj
  Replies (116) Good night (37594) Bad night (1301) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with. http://tfl.nu/07fq
  Replies (158) Good night (2154) Bad night (11937) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom? http://tfl.nu/cirg
  Replies (72) Good night (16829) Bad night (2261) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy. http://tfl.nu/bakf
  Replies (43) Good night (2070) Bad night (7090) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days http://tfl.nu/ngst
  Replies (21) Good night (9547) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together http://tfl.nu/zzdp
  Replies (50) Good night (3378) Bad night (5177) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume. http://tfl.nu/wyb3
  Replies (26) Good night (5392) Bad night (1311) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/48s1
  Replies (58) Good night (3199) Bad night (7358) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before. http://tfl.nu/b7oy
  Replies (21) Good night (13380) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Too many people are naked here for this to be normal. http://tfl.nu/s42o
  Replies (20) Good night (5686) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father. http://tfl.nu/7nfw
  Replies (48) Good night (1211) Bad night (13215) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today" http://tfl.nu/2j14
  Replies (26) Good night (2760) Bad night (5959) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is. http://tfl.nu/s7zh
  Replies (15) Good night (4648) Bad night (1342) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful? http://tfl.nu/75hl
  Replies (121) Good night (44047) Bad night (1351)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk http://tfl.nu/jmus
  Replies (37) Good night (1258) Bad night (8535) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever. http://tfl.nu/2hpf
  Replies (37) Good night (12208) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is. http://tfl.nu/gvpy
  Replies (15) Good night (7851) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms http://tfl.nu/1qb7
  Replies (27) Good night (11384) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks. http://tfl.nu/ad27
  Replies (16) Good night (4042) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town http://tfl.nu/mvuo
  Replies (39) Good night (6485) Bad night (597) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off http://tfl.nu/rmt4
  Replies (33) Good night (1730) Bad night (6679) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face. http://tfl.nu/ce47
  Replies (74) Good night (1905) Bad night (8512) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/prts
  Replies (13) Good night (4648) Bad night (1074) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasted some perfectly good semen on her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I wasted some perfectly good semen on her http://tfl.nu/b11w
  Replies (17) Good night (780) Bad night (4814) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision http://tfl.nu/741x
  Replies (12) Good night (6452) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties http://tfl.nu/aad8
  Replies (16) Good night (6894) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable http://tfl.nu/dvma
  Replies (14) Good night (5773) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut. http://tfl.nu/hcrb
  Replies (21) Good night (6055) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/08yj
  Replies (23) Good night (6648) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/e78z
  Replies (25) Good night (7317) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first

  (206): View more from Washington

  You are the luckiest man alive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first (206): You are the luckiest man alive http://tfl.nu/uh0h
  Replies (16) Good night (9954) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!" http://tfl.nu/qjvm
  Replies (40) Good night (2368) Bad night (8974) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time. http://tfl.nu/yrce
  Replies (47) Good night (1415) Bad night (8069) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week. http://tfl.nu/mv1q
  Replies (64) Good night (785) Bad night (10424) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting a business if you want to get involved

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh boy

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I'm starting a business if you want to get involved (1-781): oh boy (781): Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings http://tfl.nu/e1eb
  Replies (21) Good night (2732) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Writing my paper on freud at bar

  (917): View more from New York City

  ??

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children

  (917): View more from New York City

  Smooth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Writing my paper on freud at bar (917): ?? (203): Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children (917): Smooth http://tfl.nu/hb6n
  Replies (8) Good night (1168) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore. http://tfl.nu/ecds
  Replies (35) Good night (2166) Bad night (4671) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI. http://tfl.nu/701e
  Replies (19) Good night (3593) Bad night (268) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants. http://tfl.nu/trrn
  Replies (87) Good night (1388) Bad night (19457)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that <code></code> http://tfl.nu/dm03
  Replies (8) Good night (1569) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER! http://tfl.nu/qf7o
  Replies (9) Good night (606) Bad night (1704) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag. http://tfl.nu/mbm9
  Replies (207) Good night (4366) Bad night (27693) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis. http://tfl.nu/3s19
  Replies (45) Good night (8304) Bad night (1815) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking. http://tfl.nu/3qfc
  Replies (22) Good night (6899) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful http://tfl.nu/oafq
  Replies (19) Good night (6908) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (52) Good night (68160) Bad night (1686) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd
  Replies (124) Good night (122229) Bad night (2213) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4. http://tfl.nu/sr4z
  Replies (375) Good night (124226) Bad night (3441) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (468) Good night (165237) Bad night (6020) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom http://tfl.nu/itfy
  Replies (47) Good night (21228) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch (917): I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation http://tfl.nu/gosl
  Replies (40) Good night (34728) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2
  Replies (81) Good night (31292) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy. http://tfl.nu/z1ta
  Replies (80) Good night (2276) Bad night (7734) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight. http://tfl.nu/ioqv
  Replies (29) Good night (8950) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/xep7
  Replies (41) Good night (17438) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's. http://tfl.nu/yr3w
  Replies (11) Good night (776) Bad night (4040) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/oi0t
  Replies (26) Good night (8589) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool? http://tfl.nu/8wpx
  Replies (15) Good night (6272) Bad night (1172) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat http://tfl.nu/ctv0
  Replies (17) Good night (1021) Bad night (4660) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same http://tfl.nu/kiu0
  Replies (19) Good night (5742) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette. http://tfl.nu/u0k7
  Replies (30) Good night (6785) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance. http://tfl.nu/3lur
  Replies (32) Good night (9047) Bad night (1567) Order T-Shirt