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  • Submitted by seuqcaj13 on Jun 4, 10 at 3:39pm

    I woke up a couple weeks ago and my girlfriend was giving me a handjob. She was asleep and giving me a handjob.

    • 55 56
      Submitted by CrysMoney777 on Mar 16, 11 at 5:28pm

      i cant tell you how many times ive been hard core felt up by my bf in his sleep! this just made me believe that he is telling the truth when he says "i just woke up and you were on top of me" lol

  • Submitted by SaraJean on Jun 4, 10 at 3:25pm

    Did you bang Goldilocks or something? Not too big, not too small.

  • Submitted by pdpotman420 on Jun 4, 10 at 3:27pm

    That counts as a win

    • 83 79
      Submitted by jasboo on Jun 4, 10 at 9:21pm

      unless shes into collecting miniatures...

  • Submitted by jchinny24 on Jun 4, 10 at 5:17pm

    I'm so trying this the next time I'm with my bf

    • 58 74
      Submitted by Leto on Jun 5, 10 at 3:13am

      trying? are you gonna start saying it, check out his dick and then change your mind? "naaaah, C- at best"

  • Submitted by canonymous on Jun 4, 10 at 4:02pm

    oh morning wood! you did the trick again

  • Submitted by LikeOhMahGoose on Jun 4, 10 at 3:45pm

    How sweet

  • Submitted by aznasshole on Jun 4, 10 at 5:20pm

    Marry her.

  • Submitted by jgood69 on Jun 4, 10 at 3:26pm

    Haha just right

  • Submitted by jiggaboo on Jun 5, 10 at 4:57am

    Best. Wake-up. Ever.

  • Submitted by wombatt on Jun 4, 10 at 4:07pm

    Maybe the bad votes are because she turned over n went back to sleep?

  • Submitted by realtree on Jun 4, 10 at 4:05pm

    Who is voting this a bad night?! Fucking win!

  • Submitted by PostToTheHost on Jun 4, 10 at 9:03pm

    I'm confused, is it bad or good? She just turned him on and then went back to sleep :/

  • 98 83
    Submitted by rebkadsinger on Jun 4, 10 at 10:30pm

    Her wifestock went up. Congrats, dude.

  • 93 84
    Submitted by cfreymarc on Jun 4, 10 at 8:04pm

    Nice to have a steady lay!

  • 95 90
    Submitted by L8rsontheMenjay on Jun 5, 10 at 1:46pm

    In Soviet Russia 12 inch cocks are for 3 year olds

  • 90 81
    Submitted by PimpyMclicious on Jun 6, 10 at 5:11pm

    Thats a keeper

  • 89 80
    Submitted by k_y on Jun 4, 10 at 7:23pm

    Niiiiccccceeeee!!

  • 92 87
    Submitted by jmfobros on Jun 10, 10 at 11:33am

    If only my girlfriend said shit like this...

  • 91 85
    Submitted by dt90 on Jun 5, 10 at 12:53am

    Fuckin piiiimp haha

  • 83 70
    Submitted by Jaco823 on Jun 7, 10 at 12:14am

    Ah love...

  • 97 98
    Submitted by guitar_boy on Jun 4, 10 at 9:19pm

    Joe Nowak

  • 81 68
    Submitted by johnnyk on Jun 29, 10 at 8:49am

    You totaly said "I do to hony"and then just stare at her

  • 80 71
    Submitted by SH1 on Jun 8, 10 at 1:13am

    Uh oh, I did this last weekend.....

  • 90 94
    Submitted by dearleanneee on Jun 6, 10 at 10:17am

    she's a keeper.

  • Submitted by TCFan on Jun 4, 10 at 9:36pm

    Win-win situation. I feel her gratitude--appreciate the right size--it sounds like you were bigger than the guy I slept with last week which was such a let down.

  • 80 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 10 at 11:22pm

    So I'm like 8 is tht the right size?

  • Submitted by kaizorz on Jun 4, 10 at 5:12pm

    I wana get laid now :(

  • 76 78
    Submitted by NakedGrandma on Jun 8, 10 at 10:23pm

    I think people voted bad night because it might have been his mom/grandma/etc.

  • 83 95
    Submitted by shabazz on Jun 5, 10 at 1:22am

    how lame..

  • Submitted by vicky17 on Jun 4, 10 at 7:30pm

    hmm is it that good?? ;] text meh

  • Submitted by Fraze on Jun 8, 10 at 1:48pm

    Wake her up and sex her up then see how big ur dick gets

  • Submitted by Phys on Jun 4, 10 at 3:39pm

    It's like when women fake orgasms, who cares if it's real or fake all that matters is that it sounds like a good thing!

  • 64 68
    Submitted by heathers on Aug 5, 10 at 3:31pm

    epic

  • 66 72
    Submitted by batmanlololol on Jul 4, 10 at 9:41am

    Get some.

  • Submitted by sumyungguy on Jun 4, 10 at 6:56pm

    So lemme get this straight,\nShe tried your dads' dick and it was too big,\nShe tried your brother's dick and it was too small.\nShe tries your dick and it was Just right?\nWhy the fuck are you dating the Goldilocks of Dicks?

    • Submitted by SaraJean on Jun 4, 10 at 10:36pm

      Yeah...way to have an original thought there.

  • 36 56
    Submitted by Furreal on Oct 16, 11 at 4:19am

    Sounds like someone I know .. First name starts with an H