Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
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