Texts From Last Night

nemo00123's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning. http://tfl.nu/57kn
  Replies (4) Good night (181) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent." http://tfl.nu/u4zv
  Replies (7) Good night (1596) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?

  (+48): View more from Poland

  Poland

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you? (+48): Poland http://tfl.nu/96rz
  Replies (10) Good night (4048) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips." http://tfl.nu/kfac
  Replies (6) Good night (2337) Bad night (1093) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle. http://tfl.nu/wmdi
  Replies (10) Good night (835) Bad night (242) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to? http://tfl.nu/gwpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2047) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus" http://tfl.nu/8y4p
  Replies (12) Good night (3747) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword. http://tfl.nu/gcmk
  Replies (21) Good night (8463) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/ufwf
  Replies (27) Good night (3850) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated. http://tfl.nu/6ujy
  Replies (21) Good night (3256) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars. http://tfl.nu/luzg
  Replies (12) Good night (1054) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door. http://tfl.nu/6ofj
  Replies (19) Good night (6151) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone http://tfl.nu/z79l
  Replies (11) Good night (1664) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come? http://tfl.nu/kmdd
  Replies (11) Good night (3215) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker. http://tfl.nu/xtlj
  Replies (9) Good night (1742) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning. http://tfl.nu/9168
  Replies (5) Good night (2164) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone http://tfl.nu/69r6
  Replies (20) Good night (7897) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up http://tfl.nu/w3uw
  Replies (27) Good night (5901) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade http://tfl.nu/ve1a
  Replies (22) Good night (1821) Bad night (3172) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now. http://tfl.nu/xg11
  Replies (16) Good night (6660) Bad night (2089) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation" http://tfl.nu/vmn5
  Replies (10) Good night (3447) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit. http://tfl.nu/3sfk
  Replies (14) Good night (3432) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT" http://tfl.nu/0wpw
  Replies (5) Good night (536) Bad night (1543) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends? http://tfl.nu/08w4
  Replies (101) Good night (33889) Bad night (3562) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened. http://tfl.nu/qzdq
  Replies (10) Good night (2477) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD http://tfl.nu/7k7x
  Replies (9) Good night (2393) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic. http://tfl.nu/24zg
  Replies (10) Good night (1476) Bad night (1328)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch. http://tfl.nu/js8y
  Replies (5) Good night (4602) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me. http://tfl.nu/nfi8
  Replies (8) Good night (4984) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66699) Bad night (2994) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73358) Bad night (2460) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests http://tfl.nu/dcsh
  Replies (200) Good night (80166) Bad night (4304) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. http://tfl.nu/p67s
  Replies (179) Good night (85864) Bad night (3069) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand http://tfl.nu/mvpq
  Replies (10) Good night (2061) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar. (1-519): You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make. http://tfl.nu/j6t1
  Replies (12) Good night (9897) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME http://tfl.nu/4k9l
  Replies (15) Good night (4367) Bad night (1211) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now. http://tfl.nu/2zl0
  Replies (5) Good night (1971) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the problem with open bar is i never know what to get

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): the problem with open bar is i never know what to get (781): did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..." http://tfl.nu/knqb
  Replies (10) Good night (5692) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  I don't even want to know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican. (1-630): I don't even want to know http://tfl.nu/s13d
  Replies (3) Good night (1102) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off http://tfl.nu/ws61
  Replies (7) Good night (4959) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus. http://tfl.nu/e2af
  Replies (9) Good night (4023) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook http://tfl.nu/xr9p
  Replies (15) Good night (2845) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing" http://tfl.nu/qoaq
  Replies (9) Good night (4168) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon. http://tfl.nu/pf2r
  Replies (21) Good night (7019) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette http://tfl.nu/67ko
  Replies (22) Good night (5893) Bad night (1427) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Get out now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me? (513): Get out now. http://tfl.nu/w3kk
  Replies (57) Good night (8007) Bad night (2388)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (779): I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/p354
  Replies (13) Good night (1830) Bad night (1320) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right? http://tfl.nu/9g1d
  Replies (13) Good night (1266) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid. http://tfl.nu/2ym3
  Replies (25) Good night (7417) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  Ooooh. Get funfetti

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me. (1-413): Ooooh. Get funfetti http://tfl.nu/46m2
  Replies (7) Good night (2642) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  3some

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You're right, stupid question.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms? (503): 3some (541): You're right, stupid question. http://tfl.nu/lx7x
  Replies (21) Good night (10144) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test. http://tfl.nu/gxsj
  Replies (31) Good night (8058) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails" http://tfl.nu/xka9
  Replies (6) Good night (2570) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam. http://tfl.nu/fk8j
  Replies (4) Good night (3400) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME http://tfl.nu/m336
  Replies (18) Good night (2371) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo. http://tfl.nu/5daz
  Replies (6) Good night (3455) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text? http://tfl.nu/28br
  Replies (8) Good night (4064) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did. http://tfl.nu/3qcv
  Replies (7) Good night (7774) Bad night (1952) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  fireball beer pong. youre missing out

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  how is that even possible?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ove gloves.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  be there in ten.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): fireball beer pong. youre missing out (732): how is that even possible? (908): ove gloves. (732): be there in ten. http://tfl.nu/dpvx
  Replies (30) Good night (8781) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format? http://tfl.nu/bwcb
  Replies (26) Good night (11188) Bad night (1341) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things. http://tfl.nu/uvud
  Replies (4) Good night (3070) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org

  (516): View more from New York

  .org?

  (631): View more from New York

  yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org (516): .org? (631): yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night. http://tfl.nu/4hpr
  Replies (8) Good night (2697) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too. http://tfl.nu/4mqk
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America, http://tfl.nu/18wd
  Replies (10) Good night (3861) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption http://tfl.nu/zznp
  Replies (13) Good night (1264) Bad night (1881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis http://tfl.nu/hhal
  Replies (11) Good night (591) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right? http://tfl.nu/0t3q
  Replies (20) Good night (3306) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.

  (1-510): View more from California

  First world problems?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents. (1-510): First world problems? http://tfl.nu/77p2
  Replies (5) Good night (2317) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero (618): I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/8x23
  Replies (16) Good night (2695) Bad night (470)