We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday