And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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