Texts From Last Night

Jeg_Elsker_Dig's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came http://tfl.nu/do8g
  Replies (40) Good night (2360) Bad night (6198) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  dude how high are you right now?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground. (1-256): dude how high are you right now? (256): do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves. http://tfl.nu/7ihc
  Replies (38) Good night (11049) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan http://tfl.nu/827h
  Replies (20) Good night (7474) Bad night (1223) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed. http://tfl.nu/jsdy
  Replies (13) Good night (1699) Bad night (3331) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either. http://tfl.nu/z8zq
  Replies (25) Good night (1475) Bad night (3087) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina (1-973): wtf http://tfl.nu/idhw
  Replies (18) Good night (1014) Bad night (4957) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??

  (1-925): View more from California

  Yes. Yes it is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Is snow just God skeeting all over the place?? (1-925): Yes. Yes it is. http://tfl.nu/ofba
  Replies (12) Good night (3995) Bad night (1461) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another. http://tfl.nu/sx70
  Replies (11) Good night (4065) Bad night (1270) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she just took adderol and chased it w dog water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): she just took adderol and chased it w dog water http://tfl.nu/pwol
  Replies (26) Good night (655) Bad night (5184) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am. http://tfl.nu/ap7z
  Replies (30) Good night (441) Bad night (4422) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult. http://tfl.nu/eq22
  Replies (29) Good night (881) Bad night (4823) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina http://tfl.nu/awuu
  Replies (30) Good night (679) Bad night (7384) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much? http://tfl.nu/jwju
  Replies (23) Good night (6823) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch... http://tfl.nu/5oqr
  Replies (5) Good night (955) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill http://tfl.nu/rtkb
  Replies (23) Good night (5311) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone. http://tfl.nu/mzb6
  Replies (7) Good night (1202) Bad night (2496)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  my sisters under your porch take her home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): my sisters under your porch take her home http://tfl.nu/rfs3
  Replies (10) Good night (4497) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant??? http://tfl.nu/mp1l
  Replies (53) Good night (7830) Bad night (2059) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick http://tfl.nu/et20
  Replies (24) Good night (1197) Bad night (5818) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning? http://tfl.nu/o1k1
  Replies (39) Good night (3798) Bad night (1508) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species. http://tfl.nu/4i2r
  Replies (59) Good night (1042) Bad night (2585) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar http://tfl.nu/9kou
  Replies (39) Good night (6083) Bad night (2523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana." http://tfl.nu/t5zw
  Replies (35) Good night (1434) Bad night (3822) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God." http://tfl.nu/1oy5
  Replies (20) Good night (9669) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  I'll google it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time (1-908): I'll google it http://tfl.nu/bsan
  Replies (22) Good night (4714) Bad night (1408) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth http://tfl.nu/b4j6
  Replies (18) Good night (6714) Bad night (887) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed http://tfl.nu/wcfq
  Replies (26) Good night (4021) Bad night (935) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's. http://tfl.nu/ot6m
  Replies (137) Good night (6482) Bad night (5106) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit (303): I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex http://tfl.nu/u4ul
  Replies (8) Good night (1973) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life

  (619): View more from California

  with a huge shlong

  (440): View more from Ohio

  massive. i wanna make bitches cry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life (619): with a huge shlong (440): massive. i wanna make bitches cry http://tfl.nu/imk4
  Replies (38) Good night (5416) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking. http://tfl.nu/oesf
  Replies (7) Good night (842) Bad night (4062) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest? http://tfl.nu/07hk
  Replies (29) Good night (842) Bad night (5463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick. http://tfl.nu/zpzn
  Replies (18) Good night (923) Bad night (5953) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people" http://tfl.nu/5d9d
  Replies (20) Good night (7186) Bad night (1413) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore http://tfl.nu/n25p
  Replies (35) Good night (6194) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can get orange kush...

  (586): View more from Michigan

  GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I can get orange kush... (586): GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?! http://tfl.nu/voiy
  Replies (32) Good night (6076) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  tequila makes her clothes fall off

  (512): View more from Texas

  wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): tequila makes her clothes fall off (512): wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time http://tfl.nu/mbhl
  Replies (28) Good night (1605) Bad night (7739)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture. http://tfl.nu/g8h6
  Replies (30) Good night (5139) Bad night (1208) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So for us it's double that?

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Precisely.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime. (717): So for us it's double that? (570): Precisely. http://tfl.nu/p9hg
  Replies (33) Good night (4698) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

  (650): View more from California

  i think otters can do that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both (650): i think otters can do that http://tfl.nu/vhzk
  Replies (18) Good night (2954) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  So did the night end well for you?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): So did the night end well for you? (248): I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text http://tfl.nu/n8vz
  Replies (31) Good night (873) Bad night (8756)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery http://tfl.nu/m6f7
  Replies (11) Good night (1968) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk? http://tfl.nu/2ehj
  Replies (26) Good night (6861) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy. http://tfl.nu/ky7z
  Replies (12) Good night (695) Bad night (4877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?" http://tfl.nu/ljzm
  Replies (51) Good night (1802) Bad night (6404) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite. http://tfl.nu/yk7i
  Replies (21) Good night (7843) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex http://tfl.nu/uikr
  Replies (23) Good night (555) Bad night (7234) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina http://tfl.nu/y9lz
  Replies (104) Good night (11841) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes http://tfl.nu/ulxb
  Replies (14) Good night (539) Bad night (4132) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it? http://tfl.nu/ijgp
  Replies (40) Good night (578) Bad night (9140) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single http://tfl.nu/ybly
  Replies (27) Good night (3434) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now http://tfl.nu/leuk
  Replies (13) Good night (4101) Bad night (1251) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom? http://tfl.nu/cirg
  Replies (72) Good night (16827) Bad night (2260) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Do they take checks?

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): Do they take checks? (1-606): Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL? http://tfl.nu/lvo7
  Replies (18) Good night (4669) Bad night (1376) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ask politely.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thats good enough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Ask politely. (610): Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you? (484): Thats good enough. http://tfl.nu/nxir
  Replies (61) Good night (12686) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again http://tfl.nu/0m8m
  Replies (14) Good night (801) Bad night (4297) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  It'd be like medium rare by now.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): It'd be like medium rare by now. (1-419): I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat. http://tfl.nu/d8mh
  Replies (9) Good night (1443) Bad night (3302) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done http://tfl.nu/fwxa
  Replies (15) Good night (3450) Bad night (2557) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic http://tfl.nu/3sfg
  Replies (5) Good night (2828) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities http://tfl.nu/habk
  Replies (30) Good night (7075) Bad night (2459) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex http://tfl.nu/v3ok
  Replies (25) Good night (5552) Bad night (1497) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+52): View more from Mexico

  that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+52): that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time. http://tfl.nu/nkav
  Replies (10) Good night (4284) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator. http://tfl.nu/ifrq
  Replies (18) Good night (7176) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man. http://tfl.nu/1swk
  Replies (35) Good night (8508) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over http://tfl.nu/br0o
  Replies (41) Good night (943) Bad night (2554) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/9dex
  Replies (24) Good night (4117) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign http://tfl.nu/u6cw
  Replies (9) Good night (2878) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny http://tfl.nu/a88g
  Replies (17) Good night (6106) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat? http://tfl.nu/dmug
  Replies (5) Good night (3330) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training. http://tfl.nu/gmkx
  Replies (50) Good night (2918) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights". http://tfl.nu/6efw
  Replies (10) Good night (6022) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest http://tfl.nu/54ul
  Replies (41) Good night (26199) Bad night (663) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you. http://tfl.nu/p3o8
  Replies (15) Good night (9042) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast. http://tfl.nu/3zo3
  Replies (47) Good night (27348) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand http://tfl.nu/anwc
  Replies (10) Good night (4436) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog http://tfl.nu/fdsx
  Replies (27) Good night (1216) Bad night (6955) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret' http://tfl.nu/447f
  Replies (55) Good night (1002) Bad night (16290) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Chicken burrito, or no deal.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Is that code for my vagina?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Chicken burrito, or no deal. (1-402): Is that code for my vagina? (402): Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito http://tfl.nu/ldfv
  Replies (30) Good night (3937) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale. http://tfl.nu/y4yj
  Replies (48) Good night (19759) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something" http://tfl.nu/3v6x
  Replies (11) Good night (4478) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is. http://tfl.nu/aqok
  Replies (97) Good night (7563) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong? http://tfl.nu/a78d
  Replies (53) Good night (4597) Bad night (1219) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all http://tfl.nu/y0um
  Replies (53) Good night (461) Bad night (4376)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer? http://tfl.nu/buzt
  Replies (9) Good night (403) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am. http://tfl.nu/ygwv
  Replies (11) Good night (719) Bad night (5153) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Say something about gay babies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Say something about gay babies. http://tfl.nu/ehqd
  Replies (15) Good night (921) Bad night (1387) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me. http://tfl.nu/ks5k
  Replies (22) Good night (489) Bad night (5220) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three. http://tfl.nu/b36h
  Replies (17) Good night (543) Bad night (4872) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes. http://tfl.nu/c0ti
  Replies (5) Good night (414) Bad night (4464) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis. http://tfl.nu/zjdj
  Replies (31) Good night (1428) Bad night (3711) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody. http://tfl.nu/gh8f
  Replies (17) Good night (6877) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!" http://tfl.nu/rb09
  Replies (23) Good night (11001) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius? http://tfl.nu/ei5s
  Replies (150) Good night (14039) Bad night (2989) Order T-Shirt