Texts From Last Night

AK49cowgirl's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real... http://tfl.nu/t9kl
  Replies (14) Good night (1019) Bad night (4301) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama. (770): WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?! http://tfl.nu/mh7d
  Replies (49) Good night (1221) Bad night (6938)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone. http://tfl.nu/9w3d
  Replies (8) Good night (3632) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car. http://tfl.nu/fzr7
  Replies (18) Good night (5511) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth http://tfl.nu/ve5l
  Replies (17) Good night (4487) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again http://tfl.nu/fi23
  Replies (23) Good night (1258) Bad night (3616)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  watch out for the queen of hearts

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  fuucck i forgot ab her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat (215): watch out for the queen of hearts (610): fuucck i forgot ab her http://tfl.nu/mo46
  Replies (15) Good night (5344) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!" http://tfl.nu/wp1u
  Replies (29) Good night (8112) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question. http://tfl.nu/ra0q
  Replies (17) Good night (6154) Bad night (1045) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right. http://tfl.nu/lg5g
  Replies (14) Good night (6461) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning http://tfl.nu/qcnv
  Replies (9) Good night (3321) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  happy early fathers day!!!

  (829): View more from Dominican Rep

  im not a father

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  about that...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z
  Replies (225) Good night (7502) Bad night (72130)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts. http://tfl.nu/3wub
  Replies (31) Good night (4061) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable http://tfl.nu/hmli
  Replies (14) Good night (5288) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this" http://tfl.nu/lsrz
  Replies (17) Good night (4025) Bad night (1370) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  People with herpes should wear stickers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): People with herpes should wear stickers. http://tfl.nu/8ji1
  Replies (50) Good night (825) Bad night (3484) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted http://tfl.nu/vebg
  Replies (39) Good night (5108) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id. http://tfl.nu/1l5p
  Replies (19) Good night (494) Bad night (2368) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet? http://tfl.nu/uydl
  Replies (9) Good night (6023) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory http://tfl.nu/4fuz
  Replies (59) Good night (5375) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them. http://tfl.nu/wqtw
  Replies (32) Good night (5203) Bad night (980) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?! http://tfl.nu/h7d0
  Replies (20) Good night (7744) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking in an igloo changes everything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Drinking in an igloo changes everything. http://tfl.nu/71hs
  Replies (37) Good night (6507) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot. http://tfl.nu/3jpd
  Replies (22) Good night (6871) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit http://tfl.nu/gr8g
  Replies (13) Good night (2947) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas. http://tfl.nu/5tys
  Replies (23) Good night (3834) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales? http://tfl.nu/gvx1
  Replies (30) Good night (6659) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself http://tfl.nu/yztr
  Replies (19) Good night (4270) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant http://tfl.nu/517l
  Replies (17) Good night (5146) Bad night (935) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead, http://tfl.nu/tjky
  Replies (11) Good night (4363) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i'll start checking the bushes on campus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually.. (250): i'll start checking the bushes on campus. http://tfl.nu/j3zu
  Replies (34) Good night (5422) Bad night (1292)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!? http://tfl.nu/ozc5
  Replies (31) Good night (9437) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas. http://tfl.nu/702a
  Replies (47) Good night (7849) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL? http://tfl.nu/2onf
  Replies (17) Good night (5027) Bad night (1208) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day. http://tfl.nu/k8ur
  Replies (16) Good night (8732) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him http://tfl.nu/b7ho
  Replies (113) Good night (7741) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer http://tfl.nu/h8i3
  Replies (6) Good night (4163) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning. http://tfl.nu/g9g5
  Replies (19) Good night (8879) Bad night (1030) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed. http://tfl.nu/fe66
  Replies (5) Good night (694) Bad night (1371) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/n1s3
  Replies (13) Good night (5568) Bad night (915) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness http://tfl.nu/nepk
  Replies (34) Good night (7484) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup. http://tfl.nu/otef
  Replies (13) Good night (4179) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope. http://tfl.nu/4d9q
  Replies (28) Good night (5279) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You're 20.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear. (810): You're 20. (734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR! http://tfl.nu/k2jt
  Replies (148) Good night (11272) Bad night (2028)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants. http://tfl.nu/v3dq
  Replies (51) Good night (8487) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror http://tfl.nu/1dr8
  Replies (14) Good night (5949) Bad night (1467) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me http://tfl.nu/hyzr
  Replies (18) Good night (6252) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background

  (443): View more from Maryland

  that only happened once.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag? (410): haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background (443): that only happened once. http://tfl.nu/9rml
  Replies (36) Good night (4881) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :) http://tfl.nu/qza7
  Replies (37) Good night (7039) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister. http://tfl.nu/ezh5
  Replies (9) Good night (6478) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  tequila makes me forget i have legs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): tequila makes me forget i have legs http://tfl.nu/9rzk
  Replies (25) Good night (5983) Bad night (1079) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood. http://tfl.nu/qlw2
  Replies (18) Good night (6497) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner http://tfl.nu/bz5d
  Replies (11) Good night (4698) Bad night (1532) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  i take joy in having bigger boobs than others

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): i take joy in having bigger boobs than others http://tfl.nu/4ho3
  Replies (93) Good night (6283) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus. http://tfl.nu/vr5q
  Replies (15) Good night (9550) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy http://tfl.nu/6i8p
  Replies (18) Good night (1015) Bad night (1916) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint (203): i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you http://tfl.nu/509n
  Replies (10) Good night (5103) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back." (202): buy whatever she's on. a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/b6gr
  Replies (34) Good night (15507) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations http://tfl.nu/lsw6
  Replies (6) Good night (5460) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute. http://tfl.nu/y17n
  Replies (40) Good night (28133) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone. http://tfl.nu/f9qv
  Replies (24) Good night (5348) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): 12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began http://tfl.nu/mu8u
  Replies (21) Good night (5123) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet. http://tfl.nu/k138
  Replies (12) Good night (791) Bad night (1988) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience http://tfl.nu/48b7
  Replies (125) Good night (5559) Bad night (1157) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless http://tfl.nu/zvzp
  Replies (30) Good night (2640) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (551): Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead (201): NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it" http://tfl.nu/4pzt
  Replies (85) Good night (4715) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i can't find my house

  (1-845): View more from New York

  we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.

  (845): View more from New York

  i'm pretty sure my house moved.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): i can't find my house (1-845): we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago. (845): i'm pretty sure my house moved. http://tfl.nu/nzng
  Replies (51) Good night (13480) Bad night (1255)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night. http://tfl.nu/n564
  Replies (22) Good night (5623) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in http://tfl.nu/womw
  Replies (37) Good night (1480) Bad night (2909) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do. http://tfl.nu/ggug
  Replies (29) Good night (6298) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions http://tfl.nu/qlm8
  Replies (7) Good night (4024) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog http://tfl.nu/rz7h
  Replies (30) Good night (6168) Bad night (1290)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade http://tfl.nu/sv7y
  Replies (63) Good night (56967) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome! http://tfl.nu/2tqo
  Replies (79) Good night (17768) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side? http://tfl.nu/sml7
  Replies (97) Good night (829) Bad night (2429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.

  (406): View more from Montana

  Ok, i'm coming over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now. (320): He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage. (406): Ok, i'm coming over http://tfl.nu/vi8g
  Replies (6) Good night (3767) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.

  (845): View more from New York

  She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?

  (914): View more from New York

  well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener. (845): She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn? (914): well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey http://tfl.nu/elol
  Replies (49) Good night (5940) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back. http://tfl.nu/st6c
  Replies (36) Good night (15229) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke. http://tfl.nu/r10e
  Replies (27) Good night (4739) Bad night (1096) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ..So we should take it off Youtube?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you. (816): ..So we should take it off Youtube? http://tfl.nu/93os
  Replies (28) Good night (10931) Bad night (1528)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea http://tfl.nu/kd80
  Replies (27) Good night (5778) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel. http://tfl.nu/bqxg
  Replies (26) Good night (12722) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i don't really know how much tequila is too much

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): i don't really know how much tequila is too much http://tfl.nu/p5o7
  Replies (16) Good night (4283) Bad night (1508) Order T-Shirt