Texts From Last Night

justali123's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I love milkshakes.

  (210): View more from Texas

  Not the point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat. (1-210): I love milkshakes. (210): Not the point. http://tfl.nu/tb5t
  Replies (19) Good night (4870) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown http://tfl.nu/5h35
  Replies (14) Good night (533) Bad night (6169) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment http://tfl.nu/srdh
  Replies (31) Good night (963) Bad night (11290) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex. http://tfl.nu/p49h
  Replies (45) Good night (13501) Bad night (1642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore. http://tfl.nu/7ot8
  Replies (24) Good night (4985) Bad night (1076) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant??? http://tfl.nu/mp1l
  Replies (53) Good night (7759) Bad night (2013) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on. http://tfl.nu/nsc2
  Replies (20) Good night (5240) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra. http://tfl.nu/7xhn
  Replies (51) Good night (9195) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people. http://tfl.nu/qtnv
  Replies (30) Good night (6146) Bad night (1066) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon http://tfl.nu/eqby
  Replies (5) Good night (4589) Bad night (1052) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics http://tfl.nu/3wmw
  Replies (68) Good night (10260) Bad night (2093) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/6ris
  Replies (15) Good night (5777) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong? http://tfl.nu/9q3v
  Replies (169) Good night (4502) Bad night (16212) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat? http://tfl.nu/b9c7
  Replies (154) Good night (1678) Bad night (33998) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  6 min

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers (1-215): 6 min http://tfl.nu/dx1s
  Replies (64) Good night (9571) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets http://tfl.nu/n8se
  Replies (23) Good night (1234) Bad night (7746) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life. http://tfl.nu/28dk
  Replies (54) Good night (1319) Bad night (4351) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  yes! wait why?

  (240): View more from Maryland

  because i found it in my pocket this morning...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): were you wearing a green and blue thong last night? (301): yes! wait why? (240): because i found it in my pocket this morning... http://tfl.nu/rs9c
  Replies (39) Good night (10775) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  What?!

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom... (1-913): What?! (913): Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!! http://tfl.nu/4m0s
  Replies (35) Good night (676) Bad night (8527)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me http://tfl.nu/nn6b
  Replies (28) Good night (11066) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over http://tfl.nu/74b2
  Replies (28) Good night (20106) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him? http://tfl.nu/482n
  Replies (87) Good night (703) Bad night (9609) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/cpmo
  Replies (37) Good night (6913) Bad night (1701) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell.. http://tfl.nu/hsjq
  Replies (37) Good night (12736) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class. http://tfl.nu/m667
  Replies (20) Good night (4092) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  ravioli

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up (1-609): i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one (609): ravioli http://tfl.nu/eoaw
  Replies (38) Good night (4692) Bad night (2368)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God. http://tfl.nu/c3gg
  Replies (74) Good night (22891) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go. http://tfl.nu/b20y
  Replies (37) Good night (9640) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time http://tfl.nu/c4as
  Replies (19) Good night (4566) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+64): If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/njzt
  Replies (18) Good night (4689) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased. http://tfl.nu/r0ay
  Replies (14) Good night (690) Bad night (3780) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party. http://tfl.nu/uacy
  Replies (15) Good night (3698) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans http://tfl.nu/906w
  Replies (154) Good night (7539) Bad night (2165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine. http://tfl.nu/hm69
  Replies (12) Good night (957) Bad night (3704) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out. http://tfl.nu/d51a
  Replies (13) Good night (406) Bad night (4205) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock" http://tfl.nu/hksp
  Replies (30) Good night (8565) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i just identified you from a description of your pipe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): i just identified you from a description of your pipe http://tfl.nu/awfe
  Replies (13) Good night (4848) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight. http://tfl.nu/evaz
  Replies (19) Good night (655) Bad night (4272) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing. http://tfl.nu/anwj
  Replies (66) Good night (5204) Bad night (1754) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was http://tfl.nu/myop
  Replies (17) Good night (921) Bad night (4234) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar. (1-703): I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up? http://tfl.nu/a4zj
  Replies (55) Good night (11113) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him. http://tfl.nu/coq9
  Replies (9) Good night (4407) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches. http://tfl.nu/cp2j
  Replies (14) Good night (5926) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones http://tfl.nu/3i5q
  Replies (16) Good night (824) Bad night (3987) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit http://tfl.nu/p5pp
  Replies (18) Good night (3487) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  of course. lets lasso hookers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): of course. lets lasso hookers. http://tfl.nu/i5g9
  Replies (13) Good night (3737) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating http://tfl.nu/bh4g
  Replies (22) Good night (3205) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.

  (1-857): View more from Massachusetts

  Doors?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now. (1-857): Doors? (857): Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet. http://tfl.nu/ic4r
  Replies (6) Good night (1611) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm not a real person

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry, everyone knows that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I'm not a real person (586): I'm sorry, everyone knows that http://tfl.nu/uvd5
  Replies (4) Good night (439) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99

  (415): View more from California

  Recession joke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99 (415): Recession joke. http://tfl.nu/0g53
  Replies (10) Good night (2461) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Alarm just got pulled in my exam

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Swear it wasn't me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Alarm just got pulled in my exam (517): Swear it wasn't me http://tfl.nu/3yrm
  Replies (2) Good night (1333) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I thought that was really considerate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating' (586): I thought that was really considerate http://tfl.nu/g1h7
  Replies (3) Good night (1867) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep http://tfl.nu/ltsv
  Replies (6) Good night (475) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways? http://tfl.nu/v2q3
  Replies (2) Good night (881) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773) i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst. (773)SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person http://tfl.nu/tfn0
  Replies (11) Good night (940) Bad night (2113)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita. http://tfl.nu/kc15
  Replies (6) Good night (2072) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Can i come over

  (240): View more from Maryland

  After you called me a desperate slut? No

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Come over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Can i come over (240): After you called me a desperate slut? No (240): Come over http://tfl.nu/g0q3
  Replies (10) Good night (3873) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret http://tfl.nu/39e1
  Replies (3) Good night (2837) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with http://tfl.nu/tbm3
  Replies (4) Good night (591) Bad night (1410) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck! http://tfl.nu/jvh5
  Replies (8) Good night (1238) Bad night (4037) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Why is there a cactus in the microwave?

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  Don't worry about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Why is there a cactus in the microwave? (1-217): Don't worry about it. http://tfl.nu/f5vn
  Replies (25) Good night (10028) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised http://tfl.nu/005h
  Replies (47) Good night (2104) Bad night (4898) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..

  (703): View more from Virginia

  this can't be going anywhere good

  (571): View more from Virginia

  nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah.. (703): this can't be going anywhere good (571): nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\ http://tfl.nu/4i13
  Replies (192) Good night (1365) Bad night (25369)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?

  (1-323): View more from California

  We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?

  (323): View more from California

  Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender? (1-323): We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out? (323): Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture. http://tfl.nu/sr23
  Replies (43) Good night (883) Bad night (26620)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag. http://tfl.nu/mbm9
  Replies (206) Good night (4249) Bad night (27307) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation". http://tfl.nu/h2mq
  Replies (83) Good night (2680) Bad night (37264) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please? (443): he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag? http://tfl.nu/5o6h
  Replies (132) Good night (11921) Bad night (24356)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you??? http://tfl.nu/p9qq
  Replies (170) Good night (2333) Bad night (30861) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Holy shit r u serious? How?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo
  Replies (156) Good night (5929) Bad night (38732)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/89bk
  Replies (153) Good night (1197) Bad night (38957) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah" http://tfl.nu/d8s5
  Replies (96) Good night (5913) Bad night (57839) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  and?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  RIP clitoris

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there... (1-609): and? (609): RIP clitoris http://tfl.nu/1ub6
  Replies (579) Good night (3833) Bad night (97617)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter http://tfl.nu/o0yy
  Replies (33) Good night (1214) Bad night (6025) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks http://tfl.nu/wbdh
  Replies (32) Good night (618) Bad night (6741) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something http://tfl.nu/p4oj
  Replies (31) Good night (619) Bad night (6960) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face. http://tfl.nu/zq8n
  Replies (73) Good night (891) Bad night (7703) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/0zg1
  Replies (84) Good night (844) Bad night (8112) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work" http://tfl.nu/x4nq
  Replies (40) Good night (530) Bad night (10117) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name. http://tfl.nu/1ows
  Replies (56) Good night (710) Bad night (14343) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He went soft

  (631): View more from New York

  Wait. During?

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): He went soft (631): Wait. During? (260): Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/18lb
  Replies (98) Good night (570) Bad night (15118)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together http://tfl.nu/isyr
  Replies (12) Good night (5029) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it http://tfl.nu/s684
  Replies (21) Good night (1409) Bad night (2850) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight. http://tfl.nu/vmod
  Replies (23) Good night (4506) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK. http://tfl.nu/aspp
  Replies (26) Good night (5987) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night http://tfl.nu/m2bf
  Replies (13) Good night (9337) Bad night (480)