I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
