Texts From Last Night

bridgetanne's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it. http://tfl.nu/eqxg
  Replies (34) Good night (745) Bad night (2778) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (151) Good night (62667) Bad night (2951)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you? http://tfl.nu/3dbu
  Replies (8) Good night (4424) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized http://tfl.nu/gtwy
  Replies (53) Good night (4694) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  i miss you so much

  (858): View more from California

  i miss you too

  (858): View more from California

  oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): i miss you so much (858): i miss you too (858): oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me http://tfl.nu/932e
  Replies (16) Good night (2194) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" http://tfl.nu/lcyo
  Replies (27) Good night (816) Bad night (4790) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  You shut your mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy (1-313): You shut your mouth http://tfl.nu/xp5b
  Replies (34) Good night (1140) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people http://tfl.nu/ib6w
  Replies (23) Good night (3514) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world. http://tfl.nu/0fm4
  Replies (9) Good night (6234) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  you slept with him again didn't you

  (480): View more from Arizona

  you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'. (602): you slept with him again didn't you (480): you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well http://tfl.nu/dyfs
  Replies (21) Good night (5392) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life. http://tfl.nu/tq60
  Replies (15) Good night (781) Bad night (3509) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.

  (1-707): View more from California

  Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy. (1-707): Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots. http://tfl.nu/h6l1
  Replies (11) Good night (1259) Bad night (2919) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wish they made sweatshirts for legs

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  you mean pants?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I wish they made sweatshirts for legs (1-602): you mean pants? http://tfl.nu/ceop
  Replies (38) Good night (8151) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night http://tfl.nu/dx83
  Replies (26) Good night (4665) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining http://tfl.nu/lz11
  Replies (24) Good night (5108) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy http://tfl.nu/8awt
  Replies (110) Good night (14165) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke. http://tfl.nu/z4fd
  Replies (19) Good night (6194) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during http://tfl.nu/dav8
  Replies (21) Good night (3071) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems http://tfl.nu/3idz
  Replies (14) Good night (1457) Bad night (2411) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly. http://tfl.nu/8lsw
  Replies (20) Good night (4121) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman? http://tfl.nu/4514
  Replies (28) Good night (1999) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future. http://tfl.nu/04uk
  Replies (31) Good night (1441) Bad night (6110)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is sufficient.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living (1-412): bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug (412): This is sufficient. http://tfl.nu/p15m
  Replies (72) Good night (11557) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are. http://tfl.nu/ifpr
  Replies (4) Good night (4676) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important... http://tfl.nu/xkl9
  Replies (16) Good night (790) Bad night (1658) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  ...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  That was a text you sent me last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I think I'd do Clint Eastwood. (440): ...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now. (513): That was a text you sent me last night. http://tfl.nu/tvw9
  Replies (36) Good night (9441) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out http://tfl.nu/qumr
  Replies (16) Good night (4535) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin http://tfl.nu/3kj0
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (2466)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son. http://tfl.nu/kmmn
  Replies (5) Good night (4412) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that http://tfl.nu/8upf
  Replies (16) Good night (1449) Bad night (5155) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV" http://tfl.nu/w3he
  Replies (37) Good night (5091) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/whuj
  Replies (39) Good night (7076) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever. http://tfl.nu/1b0y
  Replies (57) Good night (943) Bad night (7060)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby. http://tfl.nu/to2g
  Replies (49) Good night (3964) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned http://tfl.nu/3008
  Replies (9) Good night (5120) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song. http://tfl.nu/rv8e
  Replies (38) Good night (8689) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Toaster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you? (316): Toaster http://tfl.nu/fbwm
  Replies (48) Good night (24101) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker. http://tfl.nu/4drl
  Replies (13) Good night (1458) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You mean bread?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast? (404): You mean bread? http://tfl.nu/0bp8
  Replies (60) Good night (16100) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it. http://tfl.nu/mzwz
  Replies (40) Good night (5059) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do? http://tfl.nu/p111
  Replies (110) Good night (2169) Bad night (1489) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible... (1-203): your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen http://tfl.nu/mgfl
  Replies (19) Good night (5200) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Whatcha textin bout Willis?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Whatcha textin bout Willis? http://tfl.nu/s0y0
  Replies (29) Good night (3343) Bad night (594) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being. http://tfl.nu/lv2s
  Replies (13) Good night (7602) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time. http://tfl.nu/0332
  Replies (11) Good night (523) Bad night (3334) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face http://tfl.nu/9y4h
  Replies (53) Good night (20591) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him http://tfl.nu/w6qf
  Replies (19) Good night (4893) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/n66u
  Replies (46) Good night (567) Bad night (1964) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder http://tfl.nu/v6lr
  Replies (172) Good night (5553) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff. http://tfl.nu/ss2c
  Replies (13) Good night (8875) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  I love foreign exchange students.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish. (1-417): I love foreign exchange students. http://tfl.nu/3hb4
  Replies (6) Good night (3485) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool. http://tfl.nu/d5dr
  Replies (45) Good night (10349) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject... http://tfl.nu/bicl
  Replies (35) Good night (6475) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it. http://tfl.nu/wqus
  Replies (20) Good night (4090) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo. http://tfl.nu/korz
  Replies (12) Good night (7445) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"

  (1-936): View more from Texas

  I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while" (1-936): I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day... http://tfl.nu/1f15
  Replies (19) Good night (9507) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk. http://tfl.nu/ivw8
  Replies (32) Good night (16566) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes http://tfl.nu/ezez
  Replies (5) Good night (605) Bad night (3383) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (298) Good night (96127) Bad night (5008)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd

  (443): View more from Maryland

  wasted?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  im pocohantasssss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd (443): wasted? (410): im pocohantasssss http://tfl.nu/gql6
  Replies (109) Good night (42211) Bad night (1636)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". http://tfl.nu/tf5y
  Replies (385) Good night (39829) Bad night (3547)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w
  Replies (175) Good night (48989) Bad night (1510)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven. http://tfl.nu/hg3t
  Replies (280) Good night (52340) Bad night (3941) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining. http://tfl.nu/owux
  Replies (14) Good night (4979) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
  Replies (128) Good night (7629) Bad night (22863)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.

  (716): View more from New York

  you're writing country songs now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me. (716): you're writing country songs now? http://tfl.nu/hdm9
  Replies (32) Good night (1492) Bad night (6280)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I. http://tfl.nu/orkf
  Replies (37) Good night (8057) Bad night (1104) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life. http://tfl.nu/gt3a
  Replies (25) Good night (3760) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  like hot dogs and buns.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky (267): like hot dogs and buns. http://tfl.nu/crsi
  Replies (22) Good night (7793) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine. http://tfl.nu/l1h6
  Replies (24) Good night (6389) Bad night (1406) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  are you high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers (1-402): are you high? http://tfl.nu/fjf1
  Replies (36) Good night (11700) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit http://tfl.nu/gr8g
  Replies (13) Good night (2694) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (178) Good night (48648) Bad night (1815)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me (1-425): Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about. http://tfl.nu/mflc
  Replies (39) Good night (2131) Bad night (4616) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast. http://tfl.nu/3zo3
  Replies (47) Good night (27351) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message. http://tfl.nu/p8es
  Replies (22) Good night (5198) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone http://tfl.nu/7e7m
  Replies (13) Good night (5428) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt