Texts From Last Night

brebabyxx12's Favorites Texts:

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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.

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  (219): I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore. http://tfl.nu/bvdb
  Replies (11) Good night (3926) Bad night (1486) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  it's great music for shaving your balls

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  (850): it's great music for shaving your balls http://tfl.nu/etrw
  Replies (24) Good night (3559) Bad night (1397) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii

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  (517): you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii http://tfl.nu/lbrx
  Replies (22) Good night (8621) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role

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  (219): Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role http://tfl.nu/5zob
  Replies (14) Good night (670) Bad night (3727) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.

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  (352): she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property. http://tfl.nu/vsw9
  Replies (25) Good night (1876) Bad night (5348) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.

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  (585): I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet. http://tfl.nu/fy09
  Replies (16) Good night (6021) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.

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  (615): I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us. http://tfl.nu/3t30
  Replies (24) Good night (7246) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.

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  (952): i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right. http://tfl.nu/wcm0
  Replies (46) Good night (5230) Bad night (1783) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.

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  (678): I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head. http://tfl.nu/4u7e
  Replies (44) Good night (6766) Bad night (1412) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...

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  (617): ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day... http://tfl.nu/iy3f
  Replies (13) Good night (825) Bad night (4325) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.

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  (773): Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat. http://tfl.nu/qnu6
  Replies (30) Good night (3913) Bad night (4794) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i feel rough

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.

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  (617): i feel rough (617): just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/6foz
  Replies (24) Good night (438) Bad night (1533)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.

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  (616): Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning. http://tfl.nu/mwtc
  Replies (22) Good night (4179) Bad night (1192) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.

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  (573): Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving. http://tfl.nu/96e5
  Replies (33) Good night (539) Bad night (2971) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room

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  (360): I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room http://tfl.nu/ooda
  Replies (22) Good night (7364) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.

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  (201): i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed. http://tfl.nu/ojs9
  Replies (29) Good night (918) Bad night (6378)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser

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  (954): all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser http://tfl.nu/xbi4
  Replies (17) Good night (4027) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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  (843): when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home. http://tfl.nu/096s
  Replies (33) Good night (11608) Bad night (939)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Say it nicely.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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  (303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned
  Replies (51) Good night (15595) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.

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  (901): we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly. http://tfl.nu/dwqa
  Replies (57) Good night (1203) Bad night (13910) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"

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  (708): Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex" http://tfl.nu/sy7y
  Replies (42) Good night (1089) Bad night (13952) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"

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  (619): Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!" http://tfl.nu/5vjf
  Replies (35) Good night (5441) Bad night (7975) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.

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  (970): I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it. http://tfl.nu/8hng
  Replies (28) Good night (9861) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.

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  (610): You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila. http://tfl.nu/p50o
  Replies (10) Good night (4499) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me

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  (203): I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me http://tfl.nu/osg9
  Replies (45) Good night (7623) Bad night (897) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.

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  (703): We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along. http://tfl.nu/ex0g
  Replies (26) Good night (5847) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence

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  (702): Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls? (636): anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence http://tfl.nu/1u56
  Replies (32) Good night (8222) Bad night (612)
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  (310): View more from California

  based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment

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  (310): based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment http://tfl.nu/srdh
  Replies (31) Good night (1027) Bad night (11409) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

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  (865): Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/7i54
  Replies (18) Good night (10773) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  So I fucked that hot french guy last night

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.

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  (662): So I fucked that hot french guy last night (228): You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up. http://tfl.nu/pgt2
  Replies (17) Good night (810) Bad night (4294)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was

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  (720): I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was http://tfl.nu/iq7q
  Replies (54) Good night (15851) Bad night (1586) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man

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  (518): Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man http://tfl.nu/kiog
  Replies (32) Good night (2312) Bad night (4751) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.

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  (402): I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had. http://tfl.nu/opb7
  Replies (54) Good night (9512) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"

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  (859): i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me" http://tfl.nu/l7cf
  Replies (130) Good night (8182) Bad night (2874) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!

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  (904): im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend! http://tfl.nu/e3rl
  Replies (50) Good night (3011) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm rooting for #1.

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  (270): possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th. (618): I'm rooting for #1. http://tfl.nu/ip6m
  Replies (37) Good night (4481) Bad night (1500)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.

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  (918): She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in. http://tfl.nu/ogcc
  Replies (59) Good night (7776) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!

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  (480): YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST (602): I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise! http://tfl.nu/2ck7
  Replies (36) Good night (6572) Bad night (615)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.

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  (651): Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you. http://tfl.nu/jbfy
  Replies (27) Good night (8562) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is sufficient.

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  (412): Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living (1-412): bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug (412): This is sufficient. http://tfl.nu/p15m
  Replies (72) Good night (11557) Bad night (566)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.

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  (678): I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts. http://tfl.nu/4sqd
  Replies (94) Good night (20247) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before

  (806): View more from Texas

  he probably also told you he thought u were pretty

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  (512): he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before (806): he probably also told you he thought u were pretty http://tfl.nu/s8x5
  Replies (22) Good night (1313) Bad night (5801)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..

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  (814): he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/cpmo
  Replies (37) Good night (6972) Bad night (1751) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

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  (228): I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference! http://tfl.nu/5ptk
  Replies (50) Good night (10110) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  I respect that

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  (508): I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice (1-508): I respect that http://tfl.nu/enis
  Replies (53) Good night (9290) Bad night (722)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!

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  (503): i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly! http://tfl.nu/tm2j
  Replies (63) Good night (7754) Bad night (2951)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.

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  (614): she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you. http://tfl.nu/1wju
  Replies (55) Good night (8352) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it

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  (765): you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it http://tfl.nu/18g9
  Replies (23) Good night (10621) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation

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  (828): so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation http://tfl.nu/xwig
  Replies (33) Good night (14219) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Get out of your relationship and into my pants.

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  (647): Get out of your relationship and into my pants. http://tfl.nu/sn5l
  Replies (45) Good night (22271) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)

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  (650): Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day) http://tfl.nu/fh88
  Replies (40) Good night (1418) Bad night (3696) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???

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  (217): How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you??? http://tfl.nu/p9qq
  Replies (171) Good night (2418) Bad night (31285) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge

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  (719): new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge http://tfl.nu/dui0
  Replies (13) Good night (2754) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.

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  (416): He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him. http://tfl.nu/3lsk
  Replies (52) Good night (10901) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.

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  (571): I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday. http://tfl.nu/tetw
  Replies (73) Good night (10571) Bad night (1285) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.

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  (413): Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/3v3s
  Replies (54) Good night (8545) Bad night (1234) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.

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  (201): It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you. http://tfl.nu/kclk
  Replies (26) Good night (786) Bad night (4260) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?

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  (631): Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up? http://tfl.nu/k005
  Replies (56) Good night (6324) Bad night (1152) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.

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  (267): New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/d4tz
  Replies (28) Good night (1867) Bad night (4489) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot

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  (814): all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot http://tfl.nu/2zr0
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  (949): View more from California

  if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous

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  (949): if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous http://tfl.nu/ia7j
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  (305): View more from Florida

  he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.

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  (305): he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me. http://tfl.nu/04rv
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.

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  (561): I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick. http://tfl.nu/378g
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  (631): View more from New York

  OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET

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  (631): OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET http://tfl.nu/az0w
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.

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  (224): U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/6777
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest

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  (519): He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest http://tfl.nu/yyal
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

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  (203): he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat? http://tfl.nu/b9c7
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.

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  (503): today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola. http://tfl.nu/yi5l
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  (805): View more from California

  they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate

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  (805): they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate http://tfl.nu/r0av
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