Texts From Last Night

skittleeagle's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times http://tfl.nu/be2v
  Replies (14) Good night (1390) Bad night (4182) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches." http://tfl.nu/j5or
  Replies (5) Good night (2398) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco. http://tfl.nu/8qs4
  Replies (11) Good night (1899) Bad night (1131) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were... http://tfl.nu/299s
  Replies (8) Good night (2808) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?

  (949): View more from California

  Midgetier?

  (714): View more from California

  Smaller, yet meaner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic? (949): Midgetier? (714): Smaller, yet meaner. http://tfl.nu/nr7w
  Replies (11) Good night (3489) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I can be that talented

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805 ): Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters (303): I can be that talented http://tfl.nu/rub2
  Replies (35) Good night (5977) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it. http://tfl.nu/p2ch
  Replies (4) Good night (2388) Bad night (301) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix http://tfl.nu/tcv4
  Replies (34) Good night (6991) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs http://tfl.nu/syr9
  Replies (12) Good night (2271) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple http://tfl.nu/sgcu
  Replies (61) Good night (824) Bad night (6253)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement http://tfl.nu/ql20
  Replies (21) Good night (2896) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes? http://tfl.nu/jms8
  Replies (48) Good night (608) Bad night (5111)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again. http://tfl.nu/aifk
  Replies (13) Good night (1592) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator. http://tfl.nu/e8nd
  Replies (6) Good night (1535) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite. http://tfl.nu/tnfr
  Replies (8) Good night (3603) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast. http://tfl.nu/a05x
  Replies (9) Good night (2929) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE. http://tfl.nu/7rd6
  Replies (56) Good night (6852) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant! http://tfl.nu/ns2k
  Replies (7) Good night (3941) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping" http://tfl.nu/vogg
  Replies (17) Good night (8672) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed. http://tfl.nu/g7ri
  Replies (4) Good night (2393) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ http://tfl.nu/h11a
  Replies (15) Good night (2466) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree http://tfl.nu/su4s
  Replies (3) Good night (1717) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders. http://tfl.nu/xfao
  Replies (3) Good night (1756) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What time did you start drinking?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Maybe.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Maybe isn't a time...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): What time did you start drinking? (978): Maybe. (617): Maybe isn't a time... http://tfl.nu/r4p5
  Replies (14) Good night (5428) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later" http://tfl.nu/rgop
  Replies (3) Good night (1655) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): 4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens. http://tfl.nu/m8yq
  Replies (55) Good night (10161) Bad night (2774) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy. http://tfl.nu/p73q
  Replies (17) Good night (5244) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (819): its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger http://tfl.nu/0bs6
  Replies (10) Good night (3526) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping. http://tfl.nu/d4lu
  Replies (15) Good night (635) Bad night (1967) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars. http://tfl.nu/v0mr
  Replies (29) Good night (743) Bad night (2698)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur. http://tfl.nu/bitm
  Replies (11) Good night (2608) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway. http://tfl.nu/zfm5
  Replies (1) Good night (2167) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  So basically you were a dog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground. (802): So basically you were a dog. http://tfl.nu/0n1s
  Replies (13) Good night (7487) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope." http://tfl.nu/2m2o
  Replies (36) Good night (522) Bad night (3507) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Internet Is back!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS. (508): Internet Is back! (860): MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS. http://tfl.nu/a6kg
  Replies (6) Good night (661) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him http://tfl.nu/busx
  Replies (14) Good night (5539) Bad night (1217) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag. (610): was it embarrassing when you had to say yes? http://tfl.nu/rz29
  Replies (10) Good night (1267) Bad night (5960)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself. http://tfl.nu/ur25
  Replies (16) Good night (9601) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio. http://tfl.nu/95rn
  Replies (30) Good night (6566) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape. http://tfl.nu/srkz
  Replies (2) Good night (1831) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on. http://tfl.nu/43cf
  Replies (4) Good night (1139) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella. http://tfl.nu/lhln
  Replies (10) Good night (3364) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS. http://tfl.nu/gw0q
  Replies (21) Good night (2842) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT http://tfl.nu/gmdd
  Replies (6) Good night (2522) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can get orange kush...

  (586): View more from Michigan

  GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I can get orange kush... (586): GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?! http://tfl.nu/voiy
  Replies (32) Good night (6078) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!" http://tfl.nu/qjvm
  Replies (40) Good night (2369) Bad night (8974) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people. http://tfl.nu/qtnv
  Replies (30) Good night (6205) Bad night (1106) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good" http://tfl.nu/hwu1
  Replies (32) Good night (6115) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  pop tarts are not kleenex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): pop tarts are not kleenex http://tfl.nu/wjj4
  Replies (16) Good night (798) Bad night (4443) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder http://tfl.nu/v6lr
  Replies (172) Good night (5553) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you still have morals?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike (303): you still have morals? (443): Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole http://tfl.nu/6ecs
  Replies (45) Good night (9116) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now. http://tfl.nu/4hn1
  Replies (33) Good night (12004) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness. http://tfl.nu/5j3m
  Replies (17) Good night (2391) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids. http://tfl.nu/hflo
  Replies (20) Good night (3817) Bad night (887) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT http://tfl.nu/bpk7
  Replies (19) Good night (2002) Bad night (930) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night. http://tfl.nu/5kyl
  Replies (36) Good night (6295) Bad night (2034) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats. http://tfl.nu/rbah
  Replies (19) Good night (966) Bad night (2960) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat http://tfl.nu/m0wi
  Replies (11) Good night (4040) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk http://tfl.nu/2ycv
  Replies (12) Good night (3431) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/9hze
  Replies (8) Good night (2005) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.

  (415): View more from California

  No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest. (415): No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans http://tfl.nu/liuw
  Replies (12) Good night (4109) Bad night (508)