sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
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I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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