Texts From Last Night

cuda17's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy. http://tfl.nu/kmxm
  Replies (36) Good night (1664) Bad night (4736) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be. http://tfl.nu/n7rl
  Replies (8) Good night (5868) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door. http://tfl.nu/hvfb
  Replies (6) Good night (6978) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too. http://tfl.nu/16uc
  Replies (23) Good night (7118) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor

  (1-516): View more from New York

  did you bang her?

  (516): View more from New York

  seriously?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor (1-516): did you bang her? (516): seriously? http://tfl.nu/fyme
  Replies (25) Good night (1774) Bad night (6194)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it. http://tfl.nu/727e
  Replies (26) Good night (1250) Bad night (4610)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box. http://tfl.nu/2fsf
  Replies (23) Good night (6719) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral... http://tfl.nu/9wf7
  Replies (28) Good night (5122) Bad night (1371) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer. http://tfl.nu/ok9n
  Replies (16) Good night (4503) Bad night (1891) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?" http://tfl.nu/0sa8
  Replies (19) Good night (10562) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out. http://tfl.nu/i2ji
  Replies (18) Good night (8236) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Absence makes the cock grow harder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Absence makes the cock grow harder. http://tfl.nu/yyl1
  Replies (17) Good night (6617) Bad night (1076) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit http://tfl.nu/ux8z
  Replies (18) Good night (3818) Bad night (1417) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about http://tfl.nu/0nal
  Replies (12) Good night (5323) Bad night (1129) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included? http://tfl.nu/4lo3
  Replies (17) Good night (5004) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless http://tfl.nu/hdeq
  Replies (10) Good night (4481) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that. http://tfl.nu/jsxj
  Replies (10) Good night (5517) Bad night (1434)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/a558
  Replies (9) Good night (4859) Bad night (1186) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with http://tfl.nu/po8c
  Replies (24) Good night (6925) Bad night (1954) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single http://tfl.nu/hya7
  Replies (20) Good night (980) Bad night (4749) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/7vie
  Replies (27) Good night (3455) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls http://tfl.nu/a8qz
  Replies (60) Good night (1316) Bad night (6584) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar. (1-519): You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make. http://tfl.nu/j6t1
  Replies (12) Good night (9922) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm eager to hear this explaination.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog... (1-423): I'm eager to hear this explaination. http://tfl.nu/jgrb
  Replies (15) Good night (4601) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him http://tfl.nu/bwdr
  Replies (21) Good night (6524) Bad night (1544) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack. (1-253): What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited http://tfl.nu/n0ma
  Replies (13) Good night (5294) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  there were a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am... (1-918): there were a lot. http://tfl.nu/x7ld
  Replies (29) Good night (6349) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke http://tfl.nu/r62l
  Replies (7) Good night (920) Bad night (4145) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time (1-732): swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph http://tfl.nu/tobf
  Replies (11) Good night (4644) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me. http://tfl.nu/ej9i
  Replies (17) Good night (6469) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  God, you're like boner-b-gone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): God, you're like boner-b-gone http://tfl.nu/0pn8
  Replies (10) Good night (1023) Bad night (5394) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES. http://tfl.nu/rhol
  Replies (32) Good night (1515) Bad night (6844) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another. http://tfl.nu/sx70
  Replies (11) Good night (4280) Bad night (1470) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I don't remember much but I know I looked hot. http://tfl.nu/1lsd
  Replies (19) Good night (5824) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist http://tfl.nu/ubmz
  Replies (12) Good night (1311) Bad night (5235) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up. http://tfl.nu/tbqv
  Replies (18) Good night (1115) Bad night (3670) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me http://tfl.nu/44om
  Replies (19) Good night (5102) Bad night (1609) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant. http://tfl.nu/aq1y
  Replies (25) Good night (11226) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Decisions, decisions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you." (319): Decisions, decisions. http://tfl.nu/1ou5
  Replies (46) Good night (8632) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome http://tfl.nu/vmah
  Replies (77) Good night (6050) Bad night (1848) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat. http://tfl.nu/1cgn
  Replies (33) Good night (2839) Bad night (4285) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts. http://tfl.nu/4sqd
  Replies (95) Good night (21113) Bad night (1276) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches. http://tfl.nu/uy09
  Replies (30) Good night (9751) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst" http://tfl.nu/u5av
  Replies (16) Good night (7656) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude. I'm so drunk.

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is bryce's mom

  (214): View more from Texas

  I can't wait to have my cock in your ass

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is still bryce's mom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): dude. I'm so drunk. (972): pete, this is bryce's mom (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom http://tfl.nu/lat0
  Replies (180) Good night (36538) Bad night (5023)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all. http://tfl.nu/2iln
  Replies (125) Good night (14996) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out (1-860): Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins http://tfl.nu/pc38
  Replies (34) Good night (1574) Bad night (4169)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Perfectly normal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?" (1-440): Perfectly normal. http://tfl.nu/lsmy
  Replies (15) Good night (6420) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back. http://tfl.nu/st6c
  Replies (36) Good night (15262) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon. http://tfl.nu/zm69
  Replies (34) Good night (8082) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (289): So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already http://tfl.nu/wb0t
  Replies (24) Good night (7567) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs. http://tfl.nu/jax9
  Replies (34) Good night (4878) Bad night (6210) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome http://tfl.nu/w0f6
  Replies (49) Good night (3562) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?

  (941): View more from Florida

  better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Why do guys in porn never have boxers on? (941): better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn http://tfl.nu/0wxg
  Replies (28) Good night (6673) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable. http://tfl.nu/afg8
  Replies (11) Good night (5156) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone http://tfl.nu/f58w
  Replies (20) Good night (5324) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/u472
  Replies (30) Good night (8916) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool. http://tfl.nu/4pl2
  Replies (44) Good night (5088) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator http://tfl.nu/bsby
  Replies (21) Good night (7126) Bad night (1438) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO. http://tfl.nu/ip2n
  Replies (27) Good night (8289) Bad night (1076) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw... http://tfl.nu/24ry
  Replies (26) Good night (1232) Bad night (5018) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby http://tfl.nu/jjj6
  Replies (18) Good night (1564) Bad night (5081) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  What?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a yeast infection.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I'm bakin' bread in my pussy! (1-314): What? (314): I have a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/o2ns
  Replies (180) Good night (1968) Bad night (28283)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too. http://tfl.nu/2www
  Replies (42) Good night (1642) Bad night (14130) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner. http://tfl.nu/lvfr
  Replies (13) Good night (1838) Bad night (4152)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you. http://tfl.nu/z9fg
  Replies (34) Good night (1087) Bad night (13122) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this' http://tfl.nu/libu
  Replies (15) Good night (5332) Bad night (1083) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...

  (623): View more from Arizona

  What did she do!?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I didn't tell her...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her... (623): What did she do!? (602): I didn't tell her... http://tfl.nu/i351
  Replies (218) Good night (5132) Bad night (24308)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired http://tfl.nu/eibd
  Replies (80) Good night (2475) Bad night (35378)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex.. http://tfl.nu/ynb7
  Replies (121) Good night (3942) Bad night (62268) Order T-Shirt