I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
