I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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