Texts From Last Night

minniemouse123's Favorites Texts:

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.

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  (312): I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/iaie
  Replies (44) Good night (1114) Bad night (12756) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.

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  (843): There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac. (843): I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary. http://tfl.nu/0c6s
  Replies (3) Good night (1099) Bad night (307)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

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  (580): Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying" http://tfl.nu/0sq3
  Replies (4) Good night (3469) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.

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  (314): Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me. http://tfl.nu/z9vp
  Replies (6) Good night (2795) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job

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  (435): For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job http://tfl.nu/nykr
  Replies (6) Good night (1907) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza

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  (806): I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza http://tfl.nu/jih1
  Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.

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  (815): I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn. http://tfl.nu/iw95
  Replies (1) Good night (1299) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.

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  (845): This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way. http://tfl.nu/f18r
  Replies (3) Good night (1039) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You slow clapped the stripper last night.

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  (215): You slow clapped the stripper last night. http://tfl.nu/fdwr
  Replies (3) Good night (2714) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!

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  (585): You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura! http://tfl.nu/nzmy
  Replies (15) Good night (2452) Bad night (374)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

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  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (499) Good night (82815) Bad night (7566)
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  (909): View more from California

  I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

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  (909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him http://tfl.nu/axwb
  Replies (165) Good night (87462) Bad night (3242) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

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  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (298) Good night (96137) Bad night (5008)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true

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  (843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true http://tfl.nu/y8hf
  Replies (405) Good night (100888) Bad night (8674) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (816) Good night (136712) Bad night (8408) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?

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  (780): Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem? http://tfl.nu/k3dz
  Replies (4) Good night (2657) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.

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  (914): Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face. http://tfl.nu/vgja
  Replies (12) Good night (2976) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'

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  (615): I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA' http://tfl.nu/bh1s
  Replies (3) Good night (1512) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear

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  (208): I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear http://tfl.nu/1f0a
  Replies (11) Good night (3922) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones

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  (904): My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones http://tfl.nu/lwep
  Replies (8) Good night (2600) Bad night (1197) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy

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  (904): i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy http://tfl.nu/fggt
  Replies (15) Good night (3486) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.

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  (904): my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower. http://tfl.nu/bnhm
  Replies (10) Good night (3524) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  i wish i had your life

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  (904): btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets (1-904): i wish i had your life http://tfl.nu/5ctk
  Replies (33) Good night (3675) Bad night (482)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.

  (904): View more from Florida

  FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift

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  (614): Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing. (904): FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift http://tfl.nu/ws8p
  Replies (17) Good night (7167) Bad night (773)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.

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  (904): my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK. http://tfl.nu/twe7
  Replies (96) Good night (7279) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  bring the vodka.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?

  (904): View more from Florida

  we are.

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  (904): bring the vodka. (1-904): i thought we were going to mcdonalds..? (904): we are. http://tfl.nu/1144
  Replies (32) Good night (9168) Bad night (771)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.

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  (601): It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face. http://tfl.nu/wypl
  Replies (8) Good night (2829) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.

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  (601): I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise. http://tfl.nu/o61x
  Replies (30) Good night (5034) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  How was the bike ride?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.

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  (734): How was the bike ride? (1-734): Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups. http://tfl.nu/2qrl
  Replies (21) Good night (7983) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.

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  (803): Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine. http://tfl.nu/e72g
  Replies (25) Good night (8065) Bad night (718)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.

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  (480): I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends. http://tfl.nu/9x75
  Replies (10) Good night (553) Bad night (3098) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles

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  (508): I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles http://tfl.nu/zr9b
  Replies (18) Good night (3080) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...

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  (615): Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her... http://tfl.nu/47qs
  Replies (19) Good night (746) Bad night (3685) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.

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  (615): Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities. http://tfl.nu/y5al
  Replies (8) Good night (1415) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.

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  (615): They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this. http://tfl.nu/rcac
  Replies (25) Good night (1425) Bad night (5418)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple

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  (615): Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple http://tfl.nu/4fv0
  Replies (19) Good night (4571) Bad night (1422) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.

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  (615): all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia. http://tfl.nu/zayo
  Replies (17) Good night (4480) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good

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  (615): my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good http://tfl.nu/bhfg
  Replies (73) Good night (10471) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

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  (305): Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever (615): She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister http://tfl.nu/5zux
  Replies (88) Good night (7369) Bad night (1075)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.

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  (270): I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely. http://tfl.nu/i6l6
  Replies (5) Good night (2912) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him

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  (319): Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him http://tfl.nu/qb96
  Replies (16) Good night (1960) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.

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  (704): I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home. http://tfl.nu/daw2
  Replies (5) Good night (667) Bad night (2072) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?

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  (410): So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right? http://tfl.nu/zwo3
  Replies (14) Good night (2523) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?

  (760): View more from California

  I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.

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  (760): Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool. (912): What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar? (760): I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out. http://tfl.nu/o1sk
  Replies (26) Good night (4310) Bad night (471)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.

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  (401): after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now. http://tfl.nu/y18v
  Replies (160) Good night (12665) Bad night (1443) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?

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  (412): he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/rnh5
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  (925): View more from California

  He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.

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  (925): He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept. http://tfl.nu/niyr
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.

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  (207): I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat. http://tfl.nu/i3fj
  Replies (6) Good night (2273) Bad night (1304) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals

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  (651): Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals http://tfl.nu/rxm6
  Replies (15) Good night (3653) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.

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  (307): Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka. http://tfl.nu/40xv
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  (509): View more from Washington

  walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.

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  (509): walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her. http://tfl.nu/knz9
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'

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  (484): during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me' http://tfl.nu/06rz
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...

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  (419): having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance... http://tfl.nu/f7dv
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand

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  (413): he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand http://tfl.nu/zcon
  Replies (17) Good night (3429) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.

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  (502): I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can. http://tfl.nu/7z31
  Replies (4) Good night (1467) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.

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  (416): He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut. http://tfl.nu/vwy6
  Replies (8) Good night (4603) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?

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  (941): Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night? http://tfl.nu/uq24
  Replies (18) Good night (4909) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.

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  (586): It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying. http://tfl.nu/5saj
  Replies (7) Good night (669) Bad night (2741) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night

  (586): View more from Michigan

  2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street

  (586): View more from Michigan

  3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call

  (586): View more from Michigan

  So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you

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  (586): 1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night (586): 2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street (586): 3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call (586): So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you http://tfl.nu/crcb
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.

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  (586): Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail. http://tfl.nu/99nr
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.

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  (508): So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test. http://tfl.nu/gxsj
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.

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  (309): We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates. http://tfl.nu/cot7
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart

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  (605): its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart http://tfl.nu/w4xp
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think

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  (443): If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think http://tfl.nu/rcq5
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?

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  (314): She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her? http://tfl.nu/5dev
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.

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  (706): Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks. http://tfl.nu/8xp5
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.

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  (303): Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever. http://tfl.nu/tsdi
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.

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  (717): and on the fourth day, god made foam parties. http://tfl.nu/nmea
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?

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  (508): Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed? http://tfl.nu/6lho
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  (305): View more from Florida

  So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.

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  (305): So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor. http://tfl.nu/ur1k
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon

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  (701): Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon http://tfl.nu/mzrc
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.

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  (307): Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids. http://tfl.nu/60tn
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  (530): View more from California

  I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.

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  (530): I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon. http://tfl.nu/vb88
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I have a critically important question to ask.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?

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  (519): I have a critically important question to ask. (519): Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist? http://tfl.nu/val5
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish

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  (772): Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish http://tfl.nu/fyel
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.

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  (630): Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver. http://tfl.nu/1ykf
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.

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  (302): seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one. http://tfl.nu/f1ae
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  (739): View more from

  The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.

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  (739): The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/v9ao
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  (415): View more from California

  just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.

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  (415): just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid. http://tfl.nu/grub
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  (909): View more from California

  and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....

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  (909): and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests".... http://tfl.nu/4e7u
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM

  (909): View more from California

  I'm scared to ask why.....

  (509): View more from Washington

  1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.

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  (509): I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM (909): I'm scared to ask why..... (509): 1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare. http://tfl.nu/ztpp
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  (518): View more from New York

  He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.

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  (518): He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on. http://tfl.nu/5fme
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.

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  (620): Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old. http://tfl.nu/papu
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  (949): View more from California

  Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

  (1-949): View more from California

  are you seriously doing this over text message

  (949): View more from California

  hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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  (949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.

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  (570): when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one. http://tfl.nu/52ae
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.

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  (856): Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws. http://tfl.nu/oz69
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?

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  (314): I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season? http://tfl.nu/6vbo
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  (585): View more from New York

  Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.

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  (585): Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably. http://tfl.nu/akzi
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  (858): View more from California

  we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.

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  (858): we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open. http://tfl.nu/kkl3
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.

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  (703): When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond. http://tfl.nu/i1tf
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