Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
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i'm not a big girl, but damn, you're all assholes.
why would i lie?
and why don't you try a relationship once in a while?
oh, and learn how to spell, please.
ps: you could stick your dick in a blender and stop a lot of worries...and hey, it fits your code! "can i stick my dick in it?" ...yes, big boy. yes you can.
well if the pizza girl from the text is fat, at least she's not trying to hide it. like someone else said, nothing is worse than a fat person trying to claim they're on a diet in public when really they eat gallons of ice cream in private. if you're fat with no real plans to lose the weight, you may as well own it.
are pizzas in the US ... larger than in Europe? Because here, every girl could eat a whole pizza... and they do.
Average American pizza is like 28" in diameter. That would be around 45-50cm.
But some pizzas like from momos pizzeria are giant. Like 100cm or more
Fat chicks are only good when they are on their knees taking a load down the gullet or on the face. Get off and get gone!
i kinda want to give HER a purple heart for eating seven pieces of pizza and not giving a shit. high five.
wow.. i'm kind of a big girl myself but could never eat 7 pieces of pizza!
why is he so great? all he did was give the girl a pizza..
hahahaha touche 11:58, touche
8:28 made this whole text funny! thank you.
haha...i'm not a little girl and you bet i'd down 7/8 of a pizza in front of boys. its not like i'm tricking them by saying i'm watching my weight haha and i like pizza
9:18 u must be 8:42
The way they talk I'd assume they're up near Ft Campbell. You know us middle TNers are great wingpeople.
Best text ever.
And to whoever said fat girls give better head... not (necessarily) true. And finding that out was NOT a pleasant experience.
shit you deserve a bronzie for that shit
wow. way to take one for the team, friend!
I take it you don't know what a wingman does 12:49AM? You suck.
9:05 fat chicks hate you.
lmao i love this text
lmao..ur a teamster!!
Yes you deserve way more than a purple heart, and sex with sister mom etc. and free booze
i think you owe him way more than sex with your sister. he's the perfect wingman.
Haha I eat tons of pizza and I'm skinny
she ain't a lady if she ain't 280
Fat girls with amazing faces are where the party's at
OMG this is amazing! Never met a girl who would eat 7/8 of a pizza in front of boys.
625 - daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn
...i wanna hear the backstory to that
eating 7/8 slices when at least 3 people are present is just plain bad manners!
All i can think about is "Did someone say Steak!"
That is some legendary wingman shit right there. YOU ARE THE SHIT!!
As for the rest of these replies, thick girls are awesome if they're still reletively firm but actual FAT chicks are disgusting. I literally get sick to my stomach watching fat people eat fatty things like pizza or cheesburgers. EWW! It is true that fat girls try extra hard and generally do more than the natural hotties. The best sex I ever had was with a big girl, but when the liquor wore off I felt really ashamed.
you deserve a hell of a lot more for that
to the person above, they do like that but not to that extreme! this is one of the funniest i have read on this site
I wonder if she thinks she showed moderation for not eating the 8th slice
oooh my god. hahaha. so much haterade.......
but, serious question: how many slices is appropriate for a female to eat? (in front of males? in front of females? -- if you think the answer is different)
fat girls are good, we try harder
Hey, who knows how big the girl in the text is, my friend is naturally SUPER skinny and she could pack away an entire pizza without batting an eyelash or gaining an ounce. I think the rough part is that this guy probably paid for the pizza. Tough break.
Yeah dude, your sister's hot!
Dear June 3, 2009 8:28AM,
They're not good enough. They're fat. It's disgusting. Please stick to fucking your food then eating it, because hey, it's the best action you'll get, something you can fuck AND eat.
10:58, like your style
A credit to your profession, sir.
one helluva wingman. he deserves a fucking nobel peace prize for that shit.
i'm big, and i STILL wouldn't do any of you assholes. i've gotten hotter guys than my skinny friends, because i'm confident, beautiful, and kind, and some people do in fact value personalities.
.....It doesn't make sense. If she was fat, it would have been obvious. Sometimes people just have fast metabolisms.
Wait so I'm confused, good wingman cause he found him a girl that could put away a pizza like a champ? Just making sure.
you deserve a whole lot more, man. I play wingwoman a lot, and dang. i love my friends more than anything, and it shows. salute to the wings.
i thought guys liked girls that actually ate instead of starving themselves..
we do...just not when they are 400 pounds
wow there's alot of fat chicks with pent up anger patroling this site...
you mean trolling...
Mr. Wingman, you're an American hero
im a skinny girl and i've eaten a whole medium dominos pizza once infront of everyone once. i dont give a shit.
I'm just tired of chubby girls getting so much false fucking confidence from the fat-enablers. It's unhealthy and extremely unattractive, no matter how much 'confidence' you have, pure and simple. Look at any health site's ideal weight chart...5'7" 120...that sounds like a sexy visual to me. This wingman is a god damn saint in my mind.
I know I hate how people say that you're beautiful no matter what but in reality it doesn't matter if you are five minutes away from eating yourself into a coma. This wingman deserves a trophy
You know the rule - for every notch off the 10 scale she is, that's how many times your buddy owes the wingman...
everyone enjoys a little sweathoggin' now and then....and yeh, the pizza being eatin' after the bar would upset me
I believe it, have a FAT friend always bitches about eating healthy. Go eat with her, orders more then me, finishes what I don't. I call her on it "o I've been working out a lot so wanna eat good food here and there"
you made this up! its too perfect
..plus fat chicks dont over-eat in-front of guys, theyre all like "im watching my weight" then sneak a candybar from their purse when they think nobodys looking
I don't think 7 slices is appropriate even if you're alone.. that is too much pizza! For anyone, not just for a girl who is already big.
know what's worse than a fat chick....an insecure man with a small penis! I love a good wingman or wingwoman...and confindent people (big or small)...most of you crack my shit up...but you haters might want to check your tiny penises at the door!
true..thats why they invented bite size snickers bars..and made millions
Hahah fuck that! I'm a girl, 5'7, 125 lb and I eat whatever I want when I'm out
There are some of us who don't give a crap if you think we're fat
Yay @ 7.55
you haven't experienced life without riding the white whale...
You don't try harder- your just damn grateful to have gotten it at all...
either your lieing or your friends are just fugly
because last checked in what i value in a ONS:
pretty face yes... Personality not so much
ill leave you with this guideline for determining what matter:
Can i stick my dick in it?
If i can it matters, if i cant it doesnt matter so....
Can i stick my dick in your personality?
8:28 it's about health. I was 185 last year, I'm 115 now. It was hard as shit, but for every previous failed diet, I had no one to blame but myself. I'm not saying you're immoral or lazy or insulting you at all. You don't even sound like the morbidly obese people with whom I take issue.
I just want fat people to stop acting like distaste for fat people is shallow.
I've done the pizza thing, but I'm also 5'7" and 120 lbs.
Yea, I'm totally doing this to rub it in for the fatties.
You sir, are my hero. Nice work fella!
ok can you can look at what phelps eats but make sure you stay and watch at how much he exercises on a daily basis. He practically burns more calories in a single day than most do in like a week
i love the fatties <3
8:28 let's keep it real my lady. Trying to preach your cause falls on deaf ears. Or in this case, eyes wide shut. It really isn't hard to lose weight. If you're overweight/fat (barring any type of illness, accident) it's your fault. Have you ever been to a restaurant and seen what some bigger people eat?! If it ain't fried and greasy, it ain't touching their lips. Vegetables are the lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle they're putting on their double cheeseburger!
Okay.... All the "naturally skinny" girls who can eat a whole pizza "without batting an eye" are lying. No one should consume that amount of food, so I don't think appearing dainty in front of guys is even an issue. Sure, i bet guys do like girls who eat and don't starve themselves. Almost an entire pizza is just gross.
A pizza in the US is like 12 inches [ atleast!], no one should eat the whole thing. Or near the whole thing.
another similarity: both fat chicks and bears go crazy for food
Ahhhh, the great fat debate.
Here's an idea: Live and let live. Stop judging others. No one is perfect. Stop making yourself feel better by bringing others down.
I'm sick of fat people demanding sensitivity. You shouldn't be treated like shit but stop making excuses or pretending it's okay. It's not okay. You're unhealthy. It's gross.
The irony ITT is that fat people are feeding the trolls.
I'd assume they'd want to be the only ones feeding.
Fat girls need love too!
I think most of you are missing the big question... Do guys really call DIBS on fucking their friends SISTERS??!! Lol Lol !!
8:28 ... you're really bringing me down. Fat girls are gross, stop eating!
10:26, Get out the plates; you just got served.
He is from Tennessee and it IS the Volunteer state...
sounds more like a friend without benefits
Fat or thin, any girl who can eat 7/8 of a pizza is a girl I want to meet. I don't give a shit that this text is 6 years old.
But what do you really think 11:37
cant get it up for your girlfriend.....does that work..... doesnt sound like a girlfriend to me bro