Texts From Last Night

Lunachic623's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco. http://tfl.nu/n13q
  Replies (12) Good night (2023) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (343): View more from Ontario

  Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (343): Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen? http://tfl.nu/nxy5
  Replies (14) Good night (636) Bad night (2372) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going. http://tfl.nu/q9ws
  Replies (16) Good night (1331) Bad night (6630) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE. http://tfl.nu/b4l7
  Replies (25) Good night (4188) Bad night (1156) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word http://tfl.nu/bykc
  Replies (57) Good night (1578) Bad night (20656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze. http://tfl.nu/d5vp
  Replies (113) Good night (1319) Bad night (24728)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me. http://tfl.nu/uo6c
  Replies (111) Good night (2233) Bad night (35653) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
  Replies (206) Good night (51686) Bad night (2730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I don't see you I see the memories. All the time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories (269): I don't see you I see the memories. All the time http://tfl.nu/pc8l
  Replies (26) Good night (649) Bad night (1497)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick" http://tfl.nu/klf2
  Replies (55) Good night (6120) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk. http://tfl.nu/8anb
  Replies (11) Good night (2786) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance. http://tfl.nu/qptg
  Replies (11) Good night (3031) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You mean bread?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast? (404): You mean bread? http://tfl.nu/0bp8
  Replies (60) Good night (16853) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one....... http://tfl.nu/w37i
  Replies (67) Good night (2493) Bad night (8869) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168250) Bad night (42156) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Stop drinking at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit" (308): Stop drinking at work. http://tfl.nu/v2m5
  Replies (8) Good night (3383) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed. http://tfl.nu/yc3l
  Replies (19) Good night (852) Bad night (2631) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/3651
  Replies (13) Good night (6262) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning. http://tfl.nu/i0lg
  Replies (6) Good night (2862) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire. http://tfl.nu/8ui6
  Replies (10) Good night (2073) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Touche.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door? (910): That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating? (770): Touche. (910): I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR. http://tfl.nu/rwye
  Replies (6) Good night (3781) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution. http://tfl.nu/9oem
  Replies (4) Good night (2291) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision http://tfl.nu/3v04
  Replies (23) Good night (1308) Bad night (2470) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you." http://tfl.nu/wg5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1487) Bad night (1645)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again. http://tfl.nu/cy0p
  Replies (141) Good night (470) Bad night (6062) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster. http://tfl.nu/wnb4
  Replies (25) Good night (7365) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.

  (207): View more from Maine

  HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped. (207): HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME. http://tfl.nu/4n05
  Replies (21) Good night (2985) Bad night (1919)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it. http://tfl.nu/ciee
  Replies (10) Good night (1970) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed http://tfl.nu/4tby
  Replies (3) Good night (1333) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself http://tfl.nu/z0gj
  Replies (57) Good night (476) Bad night (5858) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax. http://tfl.nu/b5v2
  Replies (5) Good night (2474) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink. http://tfl.nu/n6v7
  Replies (14) Good night (3232) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day http://tfl.nu/dgax
  Replies (23) Good night (1690) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!! (860): I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo http://tfl.nu/vjys
  Replies (13) Good night (8181) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay. http://tfl.nu/pwts
  Replies (212) Good night (11973) Bad night (3323) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!" http://tfl.nu/8xfk
  Replies (11) Good night (13039) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens http://tfl.nu/njf7
  Replies (49) Good night (464) Bad night (3255) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  That was the greatest thing i have ever read.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping. (314): That was the greatest thing i have ever read. http://tfl.nu/0exi
  Replies (34) Good night (6790) Bad night (1723)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything. http://tfl.nu/e1ys
  Replies (84) Good night (1830) Bad night (6659) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg http://tfl.nu/sw6a
  Replies (15) Good night (1266) Bad night (3912) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man. http://tfl.nu/q2i0
  Replies (6) Good night (579) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at http://tfl.nu/66cb
  Replies (5) Good night (2416) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Its only 8 and she is already passed out

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Its only 8 and she is already passed out (1-702): Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2 http://tfl.nu/cu8c
  Replies (73) Good night (1311) Bad night (3619)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him. http://tfl.nu/2bsg
  Replies (41) Good night (641) Bad night (6186) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us" http://tfl.nu/wksb
  Replies (13) Good night (988) Bad night (3886)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks. http://tfl.nu/o3m2
  Replies (13) Good night (434) Bad night (3276) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked http://tfl.nu/kcmn
  Replies (24) Good night (5012) Bad night (1835)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help. http://tfl.nu/31aq
  Replies (51) Good night (784) Bad night (10275)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Heyyyy darlin are you busy?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Heyyyy darlin are you busy? (1-319): Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night. http://tfl.nu/pwb0
  Replies (34) Good night (25188) Bad night (1605)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross

  (647): View more from Ontario

  well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross (647): well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun http://tfl.nu/i4zj
  Replies (12) Good night (699) Bad night (3437)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth. http://tfl.nu/tax7
  Replies (70) Good night (19061) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius http://tfl.nu/ay4s
  Replies (25) Good night (2820) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper http://tfl.nu/z4y6
  Replies (28) Good night (5489) Bad night (1123) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS. http://tfl.nu/97yj
  Replies (85) Good night (8774) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO. http://tfl.nu/k62i
  Replies (8) Good night (3321) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now. http://tfl.nu/xddc
  Replies (17) Good night (11374) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy. http://tfl.nu/c9sd
  Replies (18) Good night (4530) Bad night (1029) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal" http://tfl.nu/9g1t
  Replies (25) Good night (5805) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Actually, she's fat now, so...

  (817): View more from Texas

  Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but... (1-817): Actually, she's fat now, so... (817): Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson. http://tfl.nu/7993
  Replies (27) Good night (1717) Bad night (4880)