Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
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