Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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