Texts From Last Night

Jillymo's Favorites Texts:

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  (914): View more from New York

  Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.

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  (914): Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive. http://tfl.nu/oqgn
  Replies (18) Good night (1906) Bad night (2076)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

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  (815): Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again. http://tfl.nu/ev5h
  Replies (5) Good night (4923) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

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  (814): the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently. http://tfl.nu/7dnx
  Replies (6) Good night (3328) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.

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  (860): i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty. http://tfl.nu/tep7
  Replies (30) Good night (13834) Bad night (814)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.

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  (618): Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil. http://tfl.nu/vn3b
  Replies (3) Good night (1282) Bad night (1705) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'

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  (757): Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome' http://tfl.nu/u586
  Replies (17) Good night (4314) Bad night (716)
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  (124): View more from

  Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

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  (124): Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all. http://tfl.nu/q25u
  Replies (106) Good night (30056) Bad night (1029)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.

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  (607): Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day. http://tfl.nu/b0xj
  Replies (29) Good night (32210) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?

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  (727): I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there? http://tfl.nu/2pix
  Replies (101) Good night (36399) Bad night (1391)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

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  (864): So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life" http://tfl.nu/u5wp
  Replies (171) Good night (49207) Bad night (5110)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

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  (857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable. http://tfl.nu/zho9
  Replies (208) Good night (49121) Bad night (2151) Order T-Shirt
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (52) Good night (68149) Bad night (1686) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them

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  (219): rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them http://tfl.nu/zf3d
  Replies (207) Good night (59245) Bad night (1918) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (292) Good night (69179) Bad night (1982) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

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  (401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am? http://tfl.nu/ppdn
  Replies (114) Good night (62691) Bad night (3539) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (246) Good night (64494) Bad night (2454) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

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  (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests http://tfl.nu/dcsh
  Replies (196) Good night (76735) Bad night (3807) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Come find me please? Im in a ditch.

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  That doesn't help me much...

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm right under the moon!

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  (604): Come find me please? Im in a ditch. (1-604): That doesn't help me much... (604): I'm right under the moon! http://tfl.nu/u7hc
  Replies (15) Good night (12985) Bad night (771)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression

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  (703): the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression http://tfl.nu/ti0p
  Replies (30) Good night (943) Bad night (3487) Order T-Shirt
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  (64): View more from New Zealand

  Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...

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  (64): Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon... http://tfl.nu/s0w2
  Replies (12) Good night (2269) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.

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  (720): i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out. http://tfl.nu/xm4r
  Replies (13) Good night (3423) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.

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  (919): All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar. http://tfl.nu/cp66
  Replies (10) Good night (5815) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.

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  (330): Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry. http://tfl.nu/4osi
  Replies (9) Good night (4298) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am

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  (302): in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am http://tfl.nu/qmyh
  Replies (5) Good night (2160) Bad night (1194) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics

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  (562): Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics http://tfl.nu/ne8m
  Replies (15) Good night (4000) Bad night (604)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster

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  (206): it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster http://tfl.nu/ujaf
  Replies (15) Good night (3127) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.

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  (724): Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over. http://tfl.nu/rd2c
  Replies (5) Good night (3050) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am

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  (270): If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am http://tfl.nu/t19w
  Replies (19) Good night (3995) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him

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  (614): Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him http://tfl.nu/w6qf
  Replies (19) Good night (4893) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  My ATM looks so different sober.

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  (614): My ATM looks so different sober. http://tfl.nu/aska
  Replies (7) Good night (2073) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?

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  (615): If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen? http://tfl.nu/ze7l
  Replies (8) Good night (4116) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.

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  (601): Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit. http://tfl.nu/lbl1
  Replies (7) Good night (2301) Bad night (452)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...

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  (440): i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night... http://tfl.nu/6z7m
  Replies (2) Good night (2924) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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  (214): That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed. http://tfl.nu/6ncx
  Replies (5) Good night (4246) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.

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  (253): I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end. http://tfl.nu/6ben
  Replies (9) Good night (3103) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay

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  (513): He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay http://tfl.nu/cp59
  Replies (4) Good night (3187) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.

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  (303): this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now. http://tfl.nu/u25e
  Replies (12) Good night (640) Bad night (4343)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.

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  (727): These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular. http://tfl.nu/78s0
  Replies (6) Good night (1107) Bad night (3227) Order T-Shirt
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I miss vodka workout Fridays

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  (786): I miss vodka workout Fridays http://tfl.nu/gp5l
  Replies (5) Good night (2513) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  That's why there are breakfast margaritas.

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  (206): That's why there are breakfast margaritas. http://tfl.nu/dzi9
  Replies (3) Good night (2992) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one

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  (613): You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one http://tfl.nu/l60l
  Replies (5) Good night (4631) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here

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  (513): successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here http://tfl.nu/y491
  Replies (17) Good night (3728) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thats like the definition of a good friend

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  (224): You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me. (630): Thats like the definition of a good friend http://tfl.nu/1tf7
  Replies (4) Good night (4661) Bad night (598)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.

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  (321): I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident. http://tfl.nu/j6a8
  Replies (6) Good night (4178) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets

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  (413): How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets http://tfl.nu/sjge
  Replies (17) Good night (4527) Bad night (1246) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar

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  (202): the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar http://tfl.nu/f2lj
  Replies (6) Good night (4716) Bad night (1166) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  like it was yesterday

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  (240): Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra? (732): like it was yesterday http://tfl.nu/1org
  Replies (20) Good night (10897) Bad night (794)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different

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  (937): I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different http://tfl.nu/6y7e
  Replies (2) Good night (1356) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.

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  (937): There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich. http://tfl.nu/hmr5
  Replies (26) Good night (15625) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level

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  (203): Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level http://tfl.nu/l6je
  Replies (14) Good night (3445) Bad night (1121) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.

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  (613): you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there. http://tfl.nu/1v1m
  Replies (4) Good night (3068) Bad night (577)
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  (213): View more from California

  I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.

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  (213): I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk. http://tfl.nu/xx5w
  Replies (9) Good night (4288) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.

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  (213): Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now. http://tfl.nu/tt7k
  Replies (8) Good night (4229) Bad night (394) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???

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  (717): Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK??? http://tfl.nu/2k2z
  Replies (13) Good night (3299) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.

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  (925): These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot. http://tfl.nu/wa4w
  Replies (6) Good night (4437) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...

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  (641): she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"... http://tfl.nu/ydyy
  Replies (11) Good night (918) Bad night (3719) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments

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  (204): Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments http://tfl.nu/8aia
  Replies (9) Good night (3998) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in

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  (773): literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in http://tfl.nu/d9qi
  Replies (8) Good night (3675) Bad night (1604)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense

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  (207): My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense http://tfl.nu/p3xl
  Replies (11) Good night (5946) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.

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  (267): just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go. http://tfl.nu/i3o2
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.

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  (330): I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life. http://tfl.nu/ydnu
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it

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  (201): I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it http://tfl.nu/a65q
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.

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  (918): I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/1tot
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.

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  (608): Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week. http://tfl.nu/ckos
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.

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  (303): I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM. http://tfl.nu/5j68
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.

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  (602): Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote. http://tfl.nu/5km0
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".

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  (306): So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation". http://tfl.nu/h2mq
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Holy shit r u serious? How?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

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  (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

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  (902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted. http://tfl.nu/575h
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  (325): View more from Texas

  wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"

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  (325): wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah" http://tfl.nu/d8s5
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Two?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Two.

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  (404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  and?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  RIP clitoris

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  (609): I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there... (1-609): and? (609): RIP clitoris http://tfl.nu/1ub6
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?

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  (770): If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way? http://tfl.nu/2yix
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

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  (859): So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form. http://tfl.nu/if3v
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.

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  (616): So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together. http://tfl.nu/gv0c
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  I see you've learned your lesson.

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  (937): I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status... (1-937): I see you've learned your lesson. http://tfl.nu/pjfr
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?

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  (937): How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink? http://tfl.nu/zmgw
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  wtf. i just found you're porn stash.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  u like it?

  (937): View more from Ohio

  NOT THE POINT.

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  (937): wtf. i just found you're porn stash. (1-937): u like it? (937): NOT THE POINT. http://tfl.nu/6tyf
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.

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  (937): I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird. http://tfl.nu/7edr
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.

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  (937): I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something. http://tfl.nu/k1os
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!

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  (937): Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon! http://tfl.nu/1aph
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  You went to church with your boobs hanging out?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.

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  (937): You went to church with your boobs hanging out? (978): Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well. http://tfl.nu/nomt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  he is a creepy guy.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  yea thats what heroine does to ppl.

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  (937): he is a creepy guy. (1-937): yea thats what heroine does to ppl. http://tfl.nu/28ly
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.

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  (937): This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/352a
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