to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
