Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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