I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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