Texts From Last Night

nattielite's Favorites Texts:

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  (415): View more from California

  Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.

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  (415): Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea. http://tfl.nu/bfzd
  Replies (8) Good night (4014) Bad night (821)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Absence makes the cock grow harder.

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  (816): Absence makes the cock grow harder. http://tfl.nu/yyl1
  Replies (17) Good night (6338) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret

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  (440): if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret http://tfl.nu/39e1
  Replies (3) Good night (2944) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.

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  (904): Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/aofb
  Replies (11) Good night (432) Bad night (3456) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick

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  (617): shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick http://tfl.nu/i68n
  Replies (71) Good night (17659) Bad night (3272) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.

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  (850): JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk. http://tfl.nu/brrf
  Replies (12) Good night (3858) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.

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  (503): I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't. http://tfl.nu/gt6v
  Replies (6) Good night (3795) Bad night (1000) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

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  (954): I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else. http://tfl.nu/idx6
  Replies (14) Good night (2127) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.

  (917): View more from New York City

  me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.

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  (317): Sitting here wishing there were men in my life. (917): me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time. http://tfl.nu/mpan
  Replies (21) Good night (1208) Bad night (5062)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.

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  (804): god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked. http://tfl.nu/eqg5
  Replies (8) Good night (2831) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you

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  (205): Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you http://tfl.nu/nk9c
  Replies (16) Good night (619) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.

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  (323): I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village. http://tfl.nu/cmft
  Replies (16) Good night (5049) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time

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  (732): its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time http://tfl.nu/vuuh
  Replies (57) Good night (826) Bad night (7435) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere

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  (908): it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere http://tfl.nu/0cj1
  Replies (17) Good night (6373) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed

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  (361): Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed http://tfl.nu/nwxf
  Replies (15) Good night (3857) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.

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  (410): I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral. http://tfl.nu/e026
  Replies (8) Good night (1515) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.

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  (319): How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules. http://tfl.nu/ttz2
  Replies (26) Good night (7556) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now

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  (602): OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now http://tfl.nu/twmw
  Replies (6) Good night (608) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party

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  (954): youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party http://tfl.nu/dv0f
  Replies (7) Good night (2620) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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  (209): i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you http://tfl.nu/qjob
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (3468) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job

  (917): View more from New York City

  You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.

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  (210): I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job (917): You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth. http://tfl.nu/dvgd
  Replies (15) Good night (5517) Bad night (750)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...

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  (320): Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting... http://tfl.nu/4ynh
  Replies (23) Good night (1665) Bad night (5044)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.

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  (514): His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn. http://tfl.nu/voym
  Replies (43) Good night (9888) Bad night (1490) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh

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  (206): If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh http://tfl.nu/j9ko
  Replies (41) Good night (8275) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.

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  (650): i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry. http://tfl.nu/ss3s
  Replies (6) Good night (2911) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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  (210): By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE http://tfl.nu/98pz
  Replies (32) Good night (8699) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Goddamnit I hate your level headedness

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  (305): Goddamnit I hate your level headedness http://tfl.nu/nlec
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...

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  (732): Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken... http://tfl.nu/8g1q
  Replies (55) Good night (9094) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Too tired to pretend that I care : (

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  (847): I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over? (773): Too tired to pretend that I care : ( http://tfl.nu/bskc
  Replies (29) Good night (768) Bad night (7535)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?

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  (716): Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed? http://tfl.nu/24fj
  Replies (28) Good night (6208) Bad night (1123) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Whoa, Gary Coleman died

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Whatchu talkin bout?!?!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Too soon.

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  (847): Whoa, Gary Coleman died (224): Whatchu talkin bout?!?! (847): Too soon. http://tfl.nu/36gw
  Replies (49) Good night (6681) Bad night (1448)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal

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  (503): Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal http://tfl.nu/qwe2
  Replies (13) Good night (6923) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  we've started having sober sex

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you really do like him

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  (860): we've started having sober sex (203): you really do like him http://tfl.nu/ocmd
  Replies (19) Good night (8257) Bad night (606)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus

  (1-409): View more from Texas

  How are you texting me from 1998?

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  (409): We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus (1-409): How are you texting me from 1998? http://tfl.nu/t1vq
  Replies (27) Good night (8135) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"

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  (805): Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever" http://tfl.nu/wsl5
  Replies (41) Good night (7797) Bad night (1101) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.

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  (214): My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/3ozf
  Replies (53) Good night (9368) Bad night (1070) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed

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  (708): sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed http://tfl.nu/38z7
  Replies (25) Good night (10044) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

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  (843): Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place http://tfl.nu/sgjx
  Replies (29) Good night (11769) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Say it nicely.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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  (303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned
  Replies (51) Good night (15595) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...

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  (408): She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that. (717): I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother... http://tfl.nu/ehm3
  Replies (153) Good night (1627) Bad night (24783)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..

  (703): View more from Virginia

  this can't be going anywhere good

  (571): View more from Virginia

  nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\

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  (571): Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah.. (703): this can't be going anywhere good (571): nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\ http://tfl.nu/4i13
  Replies (194) Good night (1469) Bad night (25707)
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  (408): View more from California

  hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)

  (650): View more from California

  nah, i'm gonna grab some food

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  (408): hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;) (650): nah, i'm gonna grab some food http://tfl.nu/jz1a
  Replies (116) Good night (3850) Bad night (34505)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Holy shit r u serious? How?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

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  (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo
  Replies (156) Good night (6143) Bad night (39425)
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  (949): View more from California

  Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

  (1-949): View more from California

  are you seriously doing this over text message

  (949): View more from California

  hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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  (949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7
  Replies (351) Good night (7018) Bad night (46844)
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  (212): View more from New York

  i want you now

  (916): View more from California

  you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

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  (212): i want you now (916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this http://tfl.nu/8egt
  Replies (143) Good night (5998) Bad night (67490)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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  (314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present. http://tfl.nu/xf6g
  Replies (767) Good night (6467) Bad night (106515) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer

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  (618): i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer http://tfl.nu/zm3w
  Replies (24) Good night (8044) Bad night (1122) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.

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  (403): she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that. http://tfl.nu/e222
  Replies (11) Good night (2515) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

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  (604): She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/ilmx
  Replies (106) Good night (47515) Bad night (1289) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Her name starts with A and ends with whore.

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  (706): Her name starts with A and ends with whore. http://tfl.nu/o8d5
  Replies (12) Good night (1226) Bad night (3246) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.

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  (720): I think id rather eat ped egg shavings. http://tfl.nu/okl6
  Replies (11) Good night (638) Bad night (4750) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring

  (989): View more from Michigan

  i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me

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  (231): my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring (989): i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me http://tfl.nu/18pl
  Replies (21) Good night (6501) Bad night (713)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.

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  (402): she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics (1-402): you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys. http://tfl.nu/veft
  Replies (18) Good night (8117) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

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  (714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality. http://tfl.nu/yabq
  Replies (10) Good night (496) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?

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  (603): Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies? http://tfl.nu/c806
  Replies (6) Good night (2773) Bad night (258) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!

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  (917): I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done! http://tfl.nu/5vwu
  Replies (18) Good night (1153) Bad night (2460) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  whats up tonight?

  (408): View more from California

  Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind

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  (213): whats up tonight? (408): Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind http://tfl.nu/m6ab
  Replies (2) Good night (872) Bad night (305)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant

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  (518): Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant http://tfl.nu/517l
  Replies (17) Good night (4858) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.

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  (310): Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you. http://tfl.nu/vvmp
  Replies (21) Good night (5756) Bad night (1211) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.

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  (630): i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do. http://tfl.nu/s093
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego

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  (651): my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego http://tfl.nu/c4f3
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life

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  (504): My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life http://tfl.nu/kko9
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  (949): View more from California

  Getting food. Want anything?

  (1-949): View more from California

  Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce

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  (949): Getting food. Want anything? (1-949): Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce http://tfl.nu/xicu
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar

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  (248): it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar http://tfl.nu/5trr
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