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Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
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