Texts From Last Night

Mork's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/5zek
  Replies (21) Good night (1824) Bad night (2090) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick http://tfl.nu/qnn8
  Replies (21) Good night (1311) Bad night (1923) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues http://tfl.nu/3lxf
  Replies (9) Good night (648) Bad night (1527) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you. http://tfl.nu/u1yg
  Replies (12) Good night (6826) Bad night (1328) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless. http://tfl.nu/tw3i
  Replies (141) Good night (2304) Bad night (2031) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable. http://tfl.nu/zho9
  Replies (214) Good night (51244) Bad night (2588) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Going to get a "plan B"urrito

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Going to get a "plan B"urrito http://tfl.nu/muvk
  Replies (7) Good night (3010) Bad night (1276) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick http://tfl.nu/i68n
  Replies (73) Good night (18465) Bad night (3576) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy." http://tfl.nu/a1we
  Replies (91) Good night (21450) Bad night (2999) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister

  (216): View more from Ohio

  i hate you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister (216): i hate you http://tfl.nu/9cj0
  Replies (43) Good night (22301) Bad night (1514)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex". http://tfl.nu/7v4e
  Replies (56) Good night (30104) Bad night (1411) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front. http://tfl.nu/08qp
  Replies (9) Good night (7401) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  where are you?

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Hypothermia

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): where are you? (240): Hypothermia http://tfl.nu/1rtk
  Replies (20) Good night (2029) Bad night (3738)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w
  Replies (182) Good night (51527) Bad night (1870)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
  Replies (206) Good night (51701) Bad night (2735) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (152) Good night (65394) Bad night (3441)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore http://tfl.nu/eivb
  Replies (24) Good night (5180) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away http://tfl.nu/zrix
  Replies (17) Good night (3629) Bad night (1898) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out. http://tfl.nu/60nc
  Replies (12) Good night (1261) Bad night (4254)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  I saved lives by not driving this morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy... (1-904): I saved lives by not driving this morning http://tfl.nu/no2s
  Replies (9) Good night (7839) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either. http://tfl.nu/oep9
  Replies (3) Good night (2625) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/tadi
  Replies (11) Good night (8644) Bad night (1840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet http://tfl.nu/5wz6
  Replies (12) Good night (8926) Bad night (1000) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I don`t remember Saturday, actually

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  Its ok, i dont remember 2007

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I don`t remember Saturday, actually (1-604): Its ok, i dont remember 2007 http://tfl.nu/egxh
  Replies (16) Good night (7581) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door http://tfl.nu/oj7i
  Replies (57) Good night (1411) Bad night (9528) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73392) Bad night (2472) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg
  Replies (289) Good night (62264) Bad night (4269)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66718) Bad night (3007) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests http://tfl.nu/dcsh
  Replies (200) Good night (80198) Bad night (4310) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/rwph
  Replies (19) Good night (1449) Bad night (4848) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation. http://tfl.nu/ifsj
  Replies (12) Good night (4814) Bad night (1682)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of http://tfl.nu/1krw
  Replies (10) Good night (3494) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.' http://tfl.nu/i088
  Replies (8) Good night (2927) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+30): View more from

  Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+30): Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi http://tfl.nu/acnu
  Replies (13) Good night (6006) Bad night (1033) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't even know what potassium is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember? (703): I don't even know what potassium is. http://tfl.nu/wfp6
  Replies (47) Good night (9942) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I molested 6 butterflies tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I molested 6 butterflies tonight http://tfl.nu/fk5z
  Replies (14) Good night (1379) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg http://tfl.nu/sw6a
  Replies (15) Good night (1267) Bad night (3914) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face http://tfl.nu/3atc
  Replies (7) Good night (1683) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful." http://tfl.nu/nfe2
  Replies (11) Good night (1336) Bad night (5769) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me http://tfl.nu/r4q8
  Replies (12) Good night (985) Bad night (6879) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah" http://tfl.nu/d8s5
  Replies (100) Good night (7002) Bad night (60218) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  How was it?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fantastic, but that's not the point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/muuk
  Replies (204) Good night (86466) Bad night (7103)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (508) Good night (86084) Bad night (8380)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (485) Good night (173070) Bad night (6900) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  He looks like he has a penis

  (210): View more from Texas

  What the fuck

  (432): View more from Texas

  A good one, a good penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): He looks like he has a penis (210): What the fuck (432): A good one, a good penis http://tfl.nu/0vhk
  Replies (8) Good night (3987) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit. http://tfl.nu/agun
  Replies (19) Good night (5684) Bad night (1506) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella. http://tfl.nu/o5ml
  Replies (14) Good night (5234) Bad night (2431) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again. http://tfl.nu/qw6q
  Replies (50) Good night (19647) Bad night (1993) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  since when the fuck is that glamorous?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected (1-843): since when the fuck is that glamorous? http://tfl.nu/4ixl
  Replies (8) Good night (1344) Bad night (3233) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise. http://tfl.nu/i6qg
  Replies (6) Good night (3188) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/srza
  Replies (10) Good night (4964) Bad night (1627) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being. http://tfl.nu/lv2s
  Replies (13) Good night (7951) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep? http://tfl.nu/earn
  Replies (9) Good night (3463) Bad night (1189) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch? http://tfl.nu/p8up
  Replies (12) Good night (4988) Bad night (1250) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes http://tfl.nu/rvmv
  Replies (13) Good night (950) Bad night (3874) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something. http://tfl.nu/yca0
  Replies (3) Good night (2819) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  The pine trees are waving at me.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Put the pipe down honey.

  (253): View more from Washington

  Hi trees.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): The pine trees are waving at me. (907): Put the pipe down honey. (253): Hi trees. http://tfl.nu/6b23
  Replies (17) Good night (7978) Bad night (1535)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home http://tfl.nu/u8cd
  Replies (8) Good night (2989) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/7ezq
  Replies (9) Good night (3333) Bad night (1108) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted. http://tfl.nu/575h
  Replies (136) Good night (7276) Bad night (55233)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder. http://tfl.nu/3ets
  Replies (275) Good night (4055) Bad night (68267)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  happy early fathers day!!!

  (829): View more from Dominican Rep

  im not a father

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  about that...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z
  Replies (225) Good night (7508) Bad night (72147)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (301) Good night (100328) Bad night (5712)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168288) Bad night (42165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together. http://tfl.nu/gv0c
  Replies (7) Good night (6339) Bad night (1475)