yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Send us your Text From Last Night!
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
look no pants
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
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