my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is wine microwaveable?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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